Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I have a friend who has regularly scheduled sex nights with her husband of 19 years. They have a great marriage. Anyone else do that? I thought that might have been helpful in my marriage but stbxh thought that sex should be spontaneous. Unfortunately, he only wanted to spontaneously have sex once a month.
"I want it to be spontaneous" is code for 'I should be allowed to bail at the last minute." Scheduling is a great idea because it establishes that sex is important enough to make time for.
Love Flight Of the Conchords, so does the wife. lol.
My wife wakes me up each morning with oral and sometimes sex, but neither of us orgasm. This session is usually around 10-15 minutes. Later that night, we will be intimate and finish what we started. Married 15 years, it works for us.
Love Flight Of the Conchords, so does the wife. lol.
My wife wakes me up each morning with oral and sometimes sex, but neither of us orgasm. This session is usually around 10-15 minutes. Later that night, we will be intimate and finish what we started. Married 15 years, it works for us.
Is there something you do for her every day that is her fulfillment equivalent to receiving oral in the morning?
"I want it to be spontaneous" is code for 'I should be allowed to bail at the last minute." Scheduling is a great idea because it establishes that sex is important enough to make time for.
Yes it does. And, apparently, it also means "Don't ask me for sex or bother doing anything like putting on sexy outfits. I only want to have sex with you when I feel like it and if you're lucky, that will be once a month. The rest of the time the internet girls and I can take care of it. Thanks."
Personally, I love giving DH oral....giving it and then getting sex, with a promise for more later, would be pretty fulfilling for me
Ok. Duly noted. I like it too, but if I felt like I was expected to do it every morning (even if it meant I would get mine later that night) I would begin to resent it.
It hasn't worked well for us in the past, but that was with the Old Me. We've got a place locally that has an evening of fun with bounce houses every other Friday and we planned to start using that time for scheduled sex, but the first would have been this Friday and my wife is going out of town with her mom for a marathon. We're going to try to get a playdate for our son at the same time as our daughter's friend's birthday party on Sunday to make-up the missed Friday though.
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The thread linked below is about as close as I get to my story, it has my posts about the point where I turned my marriage around and on the day my wife was planning to move out, instead we started a new beginning. I've been keeping my updates in this thead as well: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general...-sex-life.html
For us, it's understood that at least one or more weekend nights (Friday / Saturday / Sunday) we are going to get together. Hopefully 2x. Then we also get together at least once more during the week. I also give him a BJ at least once during the week when he is exhausted. Because we have kids we can only do it at night, we are both tired but we finally had it drummed into our heads from our marriage history that sex has to take a very high priority.
I find that mentioning it throughout the day as "how about tonight" is kind of fun and not really like "scheduling" at all. It's rather fun to text a little during the day or give each other smiles across the room because we're planning to enjoy ourselves later.
It hasn't worked well for us in the past, but that was with the Old Me. We've got a place locally that has an evening of fun with bounce houses every other Friday and we planned to start using that time for scheduled sex, but the first would have been this Friday and my wife is going out of town with her mom for a marathon. We're going to try to get a playdate for our son at the same time as our daughter's friend's birthday party on Sunday to make-up the missed Friday though.
Not sure if the bounce house is for the scheduled sex or not....but dang if that don't sound fun! After rereading, I reckon it's for the kids...but I really prefer my first thought upon reading this!
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anyone schedule sex? 
