Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Couples, is it okay for us to "go down" / "give" oral without asking first?
I have never asked my wife if I can "go down" on her. I guess this is preference or how your relationship started (open at first and never really set limits later in the marriage once the "newness" wore off), but sometimes I will walk up to her while she is in bed, pull her shorts down and go to town from the back, just to tease her. We both wash (yes, water and soap) after we use the bathroom and she has never had any bad odor issues, so maybe over the years she is comfortable knowing any smell she does have at the moment, is the exact reason why I wanted to go down in the first place. Pheromones.
My wife does ask if she wants me to go down on her, as do I if I want her to go down on me. But if she decides she wants to put me in her mouth, she will absolutely DEMAND that I take my pants down. I can say no, I can say not right now... this will only make it worse. She will start pulling on my pants and look at me with those deviant eyes like, "you are mine bit*h". In other words, we do not set these limits and both know, giving oral, like giving kisses or a hug, is always on limits. I can go down on her for 30 seconds, just to smell and taste my wife, not to make her cum or have sex.
Maybe we are both alpha though and the polite nice thing to do is always ask?
Re: Couples, is it okay for us to "go down" / "give" oral without asking first?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aristotle
I have never asked my wife if I can "go down" on her. I guess this is preference or how your relationship started (open at first and never really set limits later in the marriage once the "newness" wore off), but sometimes I will walk up to her while she is in bed, pull her shorts down and go to town from the back, just to tease her.
Maybe we are both alpha though and the polite nice thing to do is always ask?
Hell no, that sounds like an awesome way to please your wife. Jeez, can you call my husband and share that sneaky trick with him LOL??
Re: Couples, is it okay for us to "go down" / "give" oral without asking first?
I say that if it works for both you and your wife, then who cares what others think/do ... do what works for the both of you.
For my H and I, we both function better with certain 'boundaries' in this area - so it wouldn't work so well for us to just go down whenever one of us felt like it.
Re: Couples, is it okay for us to "go down" / "give" oral without asking first?
This thread is a spinoff of Cherry's thread where she turned her husband down when he asks to give her oral. I think some threads spark whole new discussions and this is one of them. Cherry, this is not meant to be a shot at you or anything. I just think it creates interesting discussion and may also be an example of alpha/beta in a relationship.
Re: Couples, is it okay for us to "go down" / "give" oral without asking first?
Resounding YES.
I dream about getting unsolicited oral from my wife. It's my favorite, favorite thing in the world ever, and far too rare. the best is if I'm completely asleep and she wakes me up. that's happened maybe 3-4 times.
Re: Couples, is it okay for us to "go down" / "give" oral without asking first?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aristotle
This thread is a spinoff of Cherry's thread where she turned her husband down when he asks to give her oral. I think some threads spark whole new discussions and this is one of them. Cherry, this is not meant to be a shot at you or anything. I just think it creates interesting discussion and may also be an example of alpha/beta in a relationship.
That's okay, I'm interested as well. It's not really something I've thought about either of us doing (just kind of taking it) and when I first read what you and nadar posted, my initial thought was "no way", but I've kind of been thinking about it And perhaps if my drive ever got back up and our toddlers gave us more time to ourselves, who knows
Re: Couples, is it okay for us to "go down" / "give" oral without asking first?
I say GO FOR IT! But I have one question. If your spouse normally showers in the morning, and isn't as "up" on cleanup as aristotle and his wife, how would you approach evening oral? If you wanna just surprise him/her...would you get soap and water and clean and then go to town or just water? Or would you just get some flavored gels/lube and go for it?
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Couples, is it okay for us to "go down" / "give" oral without asking first? 
And perhaps if my drive ever got back up and our toddlers gave us more time to ourselves, who knows 
