jacksprrw

Sex therapist is a good suggestion but her parents would not agree to that, initially we will have marraige counselling as decided and when things improve (as she is living with her parents now) we will surely have sex therapist session too.

deejov

Are you talking to her now while she is at her parents ? Has she said anything else about divorce, or initiated paperwork?

How are you doing with all of this?

wiigirl

Definetly.... sorry

jacksprrw

Now after a one to one session with the counsellor she has changed her reason from lack of sex to saying that I do not get erect and that she does not get satisfied.

This is not true at all, I get errect but sometimes in the middle the hardness drops, I stop do more foreplay on her and then after it gets hard again continue. However never while having sex she ever given me a HJ or have I asked her for a BJ, I get erect by mastrubating while I give her foreplay and I have never tried any medications for prolonging the erections.

This used to happen often but she did not discuss this with me and maybe told her father when she left the house and then to the counsellor.

tacoma

Maybe counseling isn`t such a bad thing after all.
Seems you`ve actually gotten an answer through her obfuscating excuses

Go see a urologist and get your testosterone checked.

In the mean time see your doctor and get a script for viagra/cialis.

See what her reaction is to a hard as a pipe erection that won`t go away for hours.

She finally gave you a straight answer, do something about it.

jacksprrw

I have already had the testostorone test done two weeks ago when she had complained of lack of sex. The results came at 440 mg/dl, which is within range for a 33 yr male as per my doctor. Going to see a sexologist before our next counselling seission and discuss about any medications that would help. Hope I am able to convince her, would have done this long ago if she had expressed her dissatisfaction earlier.

jacksprrw

I am not in touch with her while she is at her parents, we have schedueld a counselling session next week and this is the first time we would be talking after this incidedent.

jacksprrw

I tried my best and yet did not succeed. We had the mutual councelling and I showed that all her issues could be resolved yet she did not agree and was adamant that she wanted to end the marraige. These were her words to the counsellor "I want to end this marraige and no one will be able to convince me otherwise".

She had said that we had very litte sex (by this she ment intercourse) and she was furstrated with this, but I pointed out that even when we were cosying up in bed or even when we were having foreplay (which we had more times than actual interouse) she never said or just come on top of me and had it as this was the best time and she did not even have to ask. She did not have any answers just she looked at the ceiling and had a little smile on her face.

I asked her how would I know that she was suffering if she did not tell me anything and go to her father and discuss about our sex life before first discussing it with me, I am the one who can give her more sex which she wants and not her father. She says that a husband should not be told that his wife desires more sex and he should just know it. But I am not a mind reader.


She had earlier alleged that I did not have erections, for this I went to a sexologist and he tested my erection and in his report had written "hard and normal erection" he even did a doppler sonography test to test the blood flow and it too was normal and mentioned in the report. Showed her my testostorone report which was also normal. I told her that there is nothing physicaly wrong with me we can have as much sex she wants, all she has to do is ask.

She had issues with my parents who live in the same town, I told her that I am ready to move to a diffrent city and my mother would not be able to come home unannounced twice a week which she did not like.

Still she was unconvinced and just made general statements that she is not ready to come home and go through the frustation and grief again. I said that when I am ready to have as much sex as she wants , there is no reason to be frustrated. However nothing could make her think otherwise.

So now instead of fighting the divorce and wasting five years of my life I have decided to go for a mutual divorce and get it over with.

I tried my best but ........

anonim

are you married to her or her parents???

jaharthur

I wish we could hear the other side of the story.

deejov

Sorry, jack, hoping your divorce goes easier and she talks to you about that at least!

This might not help, but such a lack of communication is pretty much a bad sign to a marriage, and better now than in a few years.
You are right to think it's wrong that she didn't talk to you about this.
She's not marriage material, after all.

I'm inclined to think that she didnt talk to you about it or ask you about it because SHE has some serious issues that she is hiding. Or she is hiding another man.

Be strong, best wishes. Post and let us know how you are doing!