Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I have to chime in on this one. I think your wife is already being incredibly unselfish by giving you blowjobs 3-4 times a month and letting you ejaculate into her mouth. Semen has a very bleachy smell. Clearly it takes quite the effort for her if she has to run to the sink right after. Why would should she feel that uncomfortable? I realize that you probably give her oral sex, but do you feel that you need to run to the sink afterwards? If you did, would you still give her oral sex 3-4 times a month? I wouldn't want my husband to do something that he clearly could not stomach. And I know he wouldn't want that of me.
I admit that this is coming from a LD person. There are many times that I have to make an effort to get in the mood to have sex with my husband. I'm trying to explore my sexuality and strengthen my drive, but this will take time. My point is that sometimes we have to set our own needs/wants aside and think of our partner. If your wife doesn't want to swallow your semen, you shouldn't pressure her to do so.
People react differently to strong flavors. Take spinach for example. Some people love it, some people tolerate it, some people hate it. Semen is a very strong flavor. I don't think anyone loves the taste, but some women tolerate it. Some hate it. Then there is also the issue of swallowing a bodily fluid, which might be disturbing to some. Would you drink her blood, sweat, or urine? Probably not. So if she has a problem swallowing your semen, I think you just have to accept it. She's probably tried and found it distasteful. I know that men claim it's an "acceptance" thing for women to swallow their semen, but I think it's more of a "control" issue. However, as Mavish said in an above answer, it's her choice. You've got it better than a lot of men, many of whom never get oral sex, and if all else is good, this is a small problem.
The "just be happy you get what you get" argument never really works. But I hear women say it on here a lot, so obviously they think it's possible. Sorry ladies, it's not really possible to choose to be happy about something you're not happy about. It doesn't work that way.
The "just be happy you get what you get" argument never really works. But I hear women say it on here a lot, so obviously they think it's possible. Sorry ladies, it's not really possible to choose to be happy about something you're not happy about. It doesn't work that way.
Okay, so turn your argument around to the wife. She obviously does not really enjoy swallowing semen as she runs to the sink when her husband ejaculates into her mouth. It obviously does not work for the wife to choose to be happy about something she does not feel happy about either.
Ah, I see this is rapidly turning into a BJ v. anti-BJ thread.
I don't think that was the original question...
I'm definitely not meaning to turn it into a bj v. anti-bj thread. What I meant is that the husband should consider his wife's feelings about not wanting to swallow his semen. Swallowing his semen makes her uncomfortable and she should not feel pressured to do it.
And I'm just saying that both parties should consider the other's feelings. Why is it ok for the husband to consider the wife's feelings (and therefore bury his own) while she gets to go on obliviously thinking everything is cool? Is there something inherent about marriage that makes one sided interactions like this acceptable?
And I'm just saying that both parties should consider the other's feelings. Why is it ok for the husband to consider the wife's feelings (and therefore bury his own) while she gets to go on obliviously thinking everything is cool? Is there something inherent about marriage that makes one sided interactions like this acceptable?
But do you think that the husband is "burying his feelings" just because the wife doesn't swallow his semen? I could see how he would feel rejected if she constantly turned him down for sex. But that is not the case here. I guess what I see is that his wife is already working hard to please him and it isn't enough. I would wonder, what is enough? Should a wife do things she isn't comfortable with so her husband doesn't "bury his feelings?" I don't see it as a "one-sided interaction" when she is letting him cum in her mouth. She already is thinking about his needs.
And I'm just saying that both parties should consider the other's feelings. Why is it ok for the husband to consider the wife's feelings (and therefore bury his own) while she gets to go on obliviously thinking everything is cool? Is there something inherent about marriage that makes one sided interactions like this acceptable?
It's not quite even though. I love making my man happy and endure the whole act for his benefit. However, the fact that he repeatedly voices that I don't have to do that is a huge thing for me. I don't feel pressured. Sometimes I'm not in the mood for that (too many drinks and feeling a little off or something) so I don't. He doesn't get mad. It's symbiotic.
I think her feelings are given paramount because she is the one who has to "suffer." You are not suffering in any way. It may not be as good but it's hardly suffering. I'm sure I'm not expressing my thoughts this way. However, I feel BJs and female oral sex as extras. Intercourse is the given by my standard. That's the act that should be expected at regular frequencies during marriage. Oral sex adds the spice and fun. It just seems selfish to nitpick the spit or swallow thing or even the BJ to completion. Any acts that cause decent amounts of discomfort are not "musts" by my book. We do them out of love and adoration.
Ugh. As soon as you use the word "endure" for a BJ (or for c-lingus), you have completely missed the point.
But I've made my point and I'll back off now.
Endure might be strong. My jaw really hurt last night so it might be coloring my perceptions at the moment. Sometimes I'm really into it and love the whole thing. My jaw is still cracking today though
It's not quite even though. I love making my man happy and endure the whole act for his benefit. However, the fact that he repeatedly voices that I don't have to do that is a huge thing for me. I don't feel pressured. Sometimes I'm not in the mood for that (too many drinks and feeling a little off or something) so I don't. He doesn't get mad. It's symbiotic.
I think her feelings are given paramount because she is the one who has to "suffer." You are not suffering in any way. It may not be as good but it's hardly suffering. I'm sure I'm not expressing my thoughts this way. However, I feel BJs and female oral sex as extras. Intercourse is the given by my standard. That's the act that should be expected at regular frequencies during marriage. Oral sex adds the spice and fun. It just seems selfish to nitpick the spit or swallow thing or even the BJ to completion. Any acts that cause decent amounts of discomfort are not "musts" by my book. We do them out of love and adoration.
I completely agree. Sex should not be about milking every last pleasure YOU can get out of it.
My original point was that some wives would like their husband to pretend like he's happy so they can bury their head in the sand and live in a fantasy that they're doing everything perfectly. Neither husband or wife can choose their feelings on this. I hear what you are saying. You don't really feel that these feelings are justified and you want to believe that a husband "should" just be grateful that he gets anything even if it's just part way. In some ways I kind of agree with you. "Should" is one thing. Bottom line is most guys are not going to tell their wives their actual feelings for fear of offending them to the point that they'll stop all together. I only put my "actual" feelings out here on this website because it's a safe place to do it and some women here might benefit from getting one guy's unvarnished opinion. My wife, like many I'm sure, thinks that what she does in this area is great. I can tell by her actions that she's pretty proud of herself.
And I'm just saying that both parties should consider the other's feelings. Why is it ok for the husband to consider the wife's feelings (and therefore bury his own) while she gets to go on obliviously thinking everything is cool? Is there something inherent about marriage that makes one sided interactions like this acceptable?
I hope you are not this selfish and entitled with your wife. . This man's wife gives him a bj a week just for his pleasure - she can't stand having semen in her mouth yet she continues out of love. That is not enough for you? Well if you should ever be fortunate enough to be in the OP position, pretend you appreciate your partner. You will have joined the rest of humanity. We all have to take what we get, no one is entitled to perfection. Posted via Mobile Device
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Re: wife beelines it to sink after bj? 
