Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
My husband and I have been married for almost 11 years now. We got married really young at 20 and were each others first sexual experience. My husband wants to spice things up and has a fantasy where I am sexually envolved with him and another guy at the same time. We have sex toys(realistic looking penis ect.) that we use and I like as well. I like our fantasy but now he is wanting us to take the next step and to actively seek out a male sexual partner to act it out one time. I like it as just a fantasy but I don't think
I could ever act upon it. He insists that I just need to "open" up and once I do I will enjoy it. It just seems so dangerous and risky!! He said he is bored and wants to make his fantasy a reality before we get too much older??? I just don't want to be pushed into something I will regret. Any body else in my situation where thier significant other us pushy with there fantasies? Posted via Mobile Device
Keep that one a fantasy. Open marriages almost always fail and if you go this far for him, consider yourself his live porno / sex servant. Unless you have already had a threesome with another woman, let him know that you are willing to ROLE PLAY any third person fantasy with dildos and such, but you will NEVER be okay with adding another person into your bedroom or marriage. Be firm.
A lot of times guys know their wife is way too jealous to ever do a female female male threesome, so they move to the next closest thing, male male female. Once you agree to this and follow through, he will open the idea of how it's only right to do a ffm now. Guilt and even fake depression of how he can't get over you actually doing another man, even though he insisted. It's all a big game to get his rocks off doing everything he has seen in porn. If it doesn't turn into a ffm request, be prepared to have a cuckold husband for the rest of the marriage (which wouldn't be too long). More men, more "oh this is boring, lets add more guys, maybe even a gang bang. Let's do it before we are too old, we only live once. " And if you think he would never "trick" you, 11 years ago did you think this man would be asking you to screw another man in front of him? Be careful, stand firm, let him know that to role play fantasy is fun because it's not real, but to suggest you ever be with another man is disrespectful, disloyal, hurtful, demeaning, and 100% not something the man you married would have ever asked you to do.
Keep that one a fantasy. Open marriages almost always fail and if you go this far for him, consider yourself his live porno / sex servant. Unless you have already had a threesome with another woman, let him know that you are willing to ROLE PLAY any third person fantasy with dildos and such, but you will NEVER be okay with adding another person into your bedroom or marriage. Be firm.
A lot of times guys know their wife is way too jealous to ever do a female female male threesome, so they move to the next closest thing, male male female. Once you agree to this and follow through, he will open the idea of how it's only right to do a ffm now. Guilt and even fake depression of how he can't get over you actually doing another man, even though he insisted. It's all a big game to get his rocks off doing everything he has seen in porn. And if you think he would never "trick" you, 11 years ago did you think this man would be asking you to screw another man in front of him? Be careful, stand firm, let him know that to role play fantasy is fun because it's not real, but to suggest you ever be with another man is disrespectful, disloyal, hurtful, demeaning, and 100% not something the man you married would have ever asked you to do.
I agree with Aristrotle!!
There is no room for 3 in a marriage, doesn't matter how strong it is. Even if it is only one time.
Keep that one a fantasy. Open marriages almost always fail and if you go this far for him, consider yourself his live porno / sex servant. Unless you have already had a threesome with another woman, let him know that you are willing to ROLE PLAY any third person fantasy with dildos and such, but you will NEVER be okay with adding another person into your bedroom or marriage. Be firm.
A lot of times guys know their wife is way too jealous to ever do a female female male threesome, so they move to the next closest thing, male male female. Once you agree to this and follow through, he will open the idea of how it's only right to do a ffm now. Guilt and even fake depression of how he can't get over you actually doing another man, even though he insisted. It's all a big game to get his rocks off doing everything he has seen in porn. And if you think he would never "trick" you, 11 years ago did you think this man would be asking you to screw another man in front of him? Be careful, stand firm, let him know that to role play fantasy is fun because it's not real, but to suggest you ever be with another man is disrespectful, disloyal, hurtful, demeaning, and 100% not something the man you married would have ever asked you to do.
I disagree with everything that is said in this post above. I am touch with several couples who live a rather liberal sex-live (usually include other people only together, not separately) and are some of the most connected partners I know.
I also disagree that FFM is the closest thing to MMF and that this should be the prime motivator of your husband. They are two completely different situations (which does not mean your H wouldn't be turned on by both).
That said does not mean you should be pushed into anything. Follow your own feeling. If it's to early, don't do it now. If you never feel for it, do it never. Keeping the fantasy can be great too. If you intrinsically feel for it, check it out (even so you should set an agreement to be able to turn it off at any given point for no reason other than you stopped liking it, you claim total control of the situation). Whichever it is, don't get caught up in just doing him a favor.
I believe it's a very bad idea. IMO if someone
really loves you they will never jeopardize your relationship like that. The risks are many: falling in love, catching diseases, violence, the other person falling for you, pregnancy and if you give into this them what is next?
It doesn't sound like he truly values you or cares much about your bonding and connecting as a couple.
Adding third parties can never bring two people closer together, it doesn't even make your sex life better, it just adds a new person and maybe a thrilling experience with another, however love trust commitment can never be replaces fully once it's lost.
As a man he is leading your marriage down a dangerous path.
He should probably read on here the many men who thought this would be a great way to cake eat, only to have it backfire when their marraiges are all screwed up or she has fallen for the third party. Posted via Mobile Device
I have often heard that, the minute a relationship needs a third to keep it interesting, it is done.
There are plenty of ways to spice up your sex life without introducing the potential of disease into your relationship. I would also try to dig a little deeper to find out why your husband is "bored" to begin with.
[listen to The Renegade]he know what he is talking about.
The number one thing you learn at any swinger club is if any one of the couple is not into it then don't do it it will only make things worse.
You also must remember the majority of people who write into forums on here have issues so I suggest going to a swingers board and hear both the good and bad and even though they will tell you not to do it on there also you will at least get a more informed views.
Keep that one a fantasy. Open marriages almost always fail and if you go this far for him, consider yourself his live porno / sex servant. Unless you have already had a threesome with another woman, let him know that you are willing to ROLE PLAY any third person fantasy with dildos and such, but you will NEVER be okay with adding another person into your bedroom or marriage. Be firm.
A lot of times guys know their wife is way too jealous to ever do a female female male threesome, so they move to the next closest thing, male male female. Once you agree to this and follow through, he will open the idea of how it's only right to do a ffm now. Guilt and even fake depression of how he can't get over you actually doing another man, even though he insisted. It's all a big game to get his rocks off doing everything he has seen in porn. If it doesn't turn into a ffm request, be prepared to have a cuckold husband for the rest of the marriage (which wouldn't be too long). More men, more "oh this is boring, lets add more guys, maybe even a gang bang. Let's do it before we are too old, we only live once. " And if you think he would never "trick" you, 11 years ago did you think this man would be asking you to screw another man in front of him? Be careful, stand firm, let him know that to role play fantasy is fun because it's not real, but to suggest you ever be with another man is disrespectful, disloyal, hurtful, demeaning, and 100% not something the man you married would have ever asked you to do.
Agree fully.
Not only is it dangerous and bad in so many ways as mentioned and an obvious NO, you also need to find out what is missing from your marriage that he is wanting to do all of this. It may be hard to find out why, but keep him focused more on you and not thinking about getting other people involved. Check for other signs of problems, like talking online etc and get him back on track.
You need to shut this down pronto, and here is how you do it. You tell him no next time it comes up, and then you suggest to him that you are concerned that he has trouble understanding the difference between fantasies and real life. This is obviously a concern to you, and if he can't demonstrate better restraint you may have to consider not going along with acting out fantasies since you don't want to get pushed into something that puts the marriage at risk. Once he realizes that his pushing is putting the rest of a pretty great sex life at risk, he'll back off. Right now he sees no downside in pushing for a threesome Posted via Mobile Device
Tell him you will do it but only if the other man is much more well endowed than he is, should shut him up. I wouldn't like anyone digging in my garden especially if the have a bigger shovel than I do.
NEVER, EVER DO ANYTHING (sexual or otherwise) that you're not comfortable with.
Your heart and sould is telling you that this isn't right for YOU even if it's OK with him.
I'm not against like minded individuals partaking in this kind of thing but BOTH partners must want to do it with NO hesitation!
Do not let him badger you or break you down to the point where you agree to do it "just once" to shut him up. Tell him in no uncertain words that you are not comfortable with making this fantasy a reality and further discussion of the issue is closed if he really loves and cares for you.
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Husband's fantasy 
