Erectile conundrum from having great sex

WillK · 06-08-2012, 10:40 PM

I've mentioned some issues and I've seen a urologist, and we're seeing a good psychiatrist that views prescriptions as a last resort... I have 5 mg daily Cialis and Viagra prescriptions and samples from my urologist. My problem I need to ask about is partly from having mental issues - Well let's just explain.

A week ago, I was having a hard time maintaining my erection during intercourse with my wife and during masturbation. I'd come out of nearly seperating and I wanted to perform well for my wife, I'm sure that anxiety interfered with my performance.

I read "Lasting Longer: The Treatment Program for Premature Ejaculation" and I'd recommend it to anyone having difficulty.

So this week, it helped. My wife and I have had sex. She is tight even after 2 kids, and she's very sensitve between the legs - she can't overdo it with sugar or she gets issues of itchyness and same with almost any lube. She has no difficulty getting very wet....

So the last 2 times we' had sex, she loved it, she had orgasms both times vaginally, she asked to go to intercourse before orgasming from oral. I lasted much longer each time than I used to, and I thrust harder. She loved it.

But she has been sore for a day or two after. This is where I'd like to ask for help...

I get the sense that she's enjoying it so much that she wants it more, but she can't because she needs recovery. This evening I caught myself rationalizing this as I'm hurting her giving her the wife I want, and as I tried to practice my exercises this evening this mental block interfered with my ability to get erect.

Earlier, I know that I'm supposed to think along the lines of "The goal of every sexual experience is to provide each partner with an enjoyable sexual experience regardless of the outcome" but earlier today, I was thinking to myself how not every woman gets orgasms vaginally and I just went 2 for 2, and that made me feel quite the man and was getting erect over it.

So I got a lot of mind games going on, I know that, this one would best be helped if anyone has any help to offer with how we can keep my wife from getting so sore. Bearing in mind that lubes aren't going to be too likely to be the answer either.

Aristotle · 06-09-2012, 12:50 AM

She has 3 very fun an unique holes, try the others. One day vaginal, next day anal, next day oral, rinse/repeat.

WillK · 06-09-2012, 10:24 AM

K oral and anal as a substitute is not up for discussion. Anal is not of interest for either of us. Oral is good but she doesn't want the happy ending in her mouth.

Need suggestions for vaginal.

PBear · 06-09-2012, 11:05 AM

Find out why she's sore. If I'm at the wrong angle, my GF feels I give her small tears at her opening. So she has me adjust my angle, and it usually helps.

Which of you controls how long intercourse lasts? Is one of you ready to be done earlier? Maybe if you can limit the thrusting time, you can keep the frequency up.

Just a couple of thoughts

C
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Shiksa · 06-09-2012, 11:20 AM

I get very wet, but lube makes it way more comfortable and keeps me from getting that raw feeling. You said that lube bothers her, but have you tried coconut oil? You get it at the grocery store and come in a big ol' jar. All natural. That may help with the friction burns.

Enchantment · 06-09-2012, 01:06 PM

What kind of soreness does she have?

Is it internal - like from you bumping her cervix during thrusting? If it's this kind of soreness, then you can try different kinds of positions so that her cervix doesn't get bumped. (If she has continued internal pain she should see an ob-gyn to rule out any other potential conditions, such as cysts, fibroids, endometriosis, etc.)

Is it muscular - like she is using some muscles that she hasn't been for awhile? If it's muscular, then continuing to have sex and engaging in additional exercise to boost her muscle strength and energy may help.

Is it at the opening - from a lack of lubrication or even just not being used to having sex as often or having something of the girth that you are (you mentioned that she is still very tight)? For this, you can add lubrication - you may have to experiment or ask her doctor for suggestions if she has a lot of sensitivity. If it's your girth, then making sure she is very aroused is helpful, or she could work with vaginal dilators. If she's had children and had an episiotomy or tearing and the scars are bothering her, she should see her ob-gyn for options.

If she has continued pain or soreness no matter what you do or try, then she should make a trip in to see her ob-gyn and talk about it. Most women will have pain or soreness during intercourse or afterward at least once in their lives.

There can be all kinds of causes - some mild and easy to treat or recover from, and some not so.

Best wishes.

lamaga · 06-09-2012, 06:57 PM

i have to agree with some of the above...don't discount lube.

But, it may be that you are just larger than she can comfortably accommodate. Not a bad problem to have!

livelaughlovenow · 06-09-2012, 07:06 PM

Not completely trimmed hair can cause soreness too in addition to the above...do you shave? If you have stubble it can rub it raw.
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