06-13-2012, 08:19 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
| | Re: anal play...men
This is the very question that Iíve had so much trouble answering as of late.
In high school, when I first became sexually active, I had no idea what I was doing. Everyone talked about sex and from a social standpoint, I believed this was something I was supposed to want and yet could not find. In college, my goals changed. I sought a long-term relationship - found one - and from that moment on, my ideas of sex changed.
My first Ďlonger-termí partner taught me about the great disparity between a manís ability to be sexually satisfied versus the womanís needs. In every sexual encounter since then, I demanded from myself the physical ability to Ďoutlastí my partner - which meant that I to physically learn how to ignore pleasurable stimulus. The sooner I gave-in to pleasurable stimulus, the sooner love-making was over - and the sooner itís over - the higher the probability sheís not satisfied.
So Iíve spent my my adult sex life in a constant denial of pleasure... if it feels good, I should avoid it.
What that has translated into now is that I donít want tons of foreplay, have very negative interests in sex acts that are not vaginal - and the last thing in world I want is any more pleasurable stimulations.
Yes, I understand - now - that those childhood insults were hurled by kids who probably didnít know the meaning of their words - but I swore to myself then that Iíd never participate in certain sex acts. Apparently keeping promises means something to me. (even the stupid ones?) So now, all these years later, I have two ingrained reasons not engage in any anal play.
These restrictions on my part, became terribly problematic when my wife of nearly two decades suddenly professes her great desire to engage in a litany of different sex acts. She went from seemingly satisfied with our loving vaginal sex, to asking for oral, anal, light bondage, rough sex, and confessing to a host of highly unusual past experiences...
Oh, lucky me. What do I want out of all these new opportunities? I want someone to please give me back my real wife, because Iím not sure I want this woman around my kids.
So please, talk to your husband
- and the sooner the better -