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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 06-09-2012, 12:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
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does anyone have any tips on doing this to my husband without emasculating him? I know he wants to engage in some anal play but he has a lot of shame associated with anything that could be called 'gay' by some people who don't have any idea what they're talking about. he won't talk about this very much at all; I don't know how to achieve both goals at once of making him feel good and makingh im feel like a man.
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Old 06-09-2012, 01:00 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: anal play...men

Give bj, move down and lick balls, then go further and lick ass, leaving it wet. Go back to bj and slide a finger in bum.

If he loves this, overtime the next few weeks graduate to another finger. If he still gives you hints he wants anal play without ever talking about it, move to anal beads or a small anal plug.

Truth is, gay or not, COMMUNICATE. Talking to you has nothing to do with him doing something others consider gay. Let him know, OTHERS won't know (except us), and he can trust you'll keep it between the two of you. If he trusts you won't tell your friends, his friends, or anyone he will be more open. Ask him what type of anal play he wants, otherwise us suggesting things that some people do consider gay doesn't help much. Some people think a man doing ANYTHING anal is gay, period. Tell your husband lets live our lives for us, not for others.
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Old 06-09-2012, 01:05 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Aristotle View Post
Give bj, move down and lick balls, then go further and lick ass, leaving it wet. Go back to bj and slide a finger in bum.

If he loves this, overtime the next few weeks graduate to another finger. If he still gives you hints he wants anal play without ever talking about it, move to anal beads or a small anal plug.

Truth is, gay or not, COMMUNICATE. Talking to you has nothing to do with him doing something others consider gay. Let him know, OTHERS won't know (except us), and he can trust you'll keep it between the two of you. If he trusts you won't tell your friends, his friends, or anyone he will be more open. Ask him what type of anal play he wants, otherwise us suggesting things that some people do consider gay doesn't help much. Some people think a man doing ANYTHING anal is gay, period. Tell your husband lets live our lives for us, not for others.
great answer. thanks!
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Old 06-10-2012, 07:37 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: anal play...men

I would also advise using your tongue and getting it right up there - feels amazing and gets it ready for a finger or two
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Old 06-10-2012, 07:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Give bj, move down and lick balls, then go further and lick ass, leaving it wet. Go back to bj and slide a finger in bum.
This is how my husband likes it, but we do it in the shower, so i can just use a soapy finger or two. That's the extent of anal that he's interested in, so that's all the advice I can give. lol

The tongue is awesome, too. OMG yes.
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Old 06-10-2012, 08:57 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: anal play...men

A soapy finger in the butt may burn...try using some some KY in the bedroom and he may just "open up"
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Old 06-10-2012, 11:05 AM   #7 (permalink)
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But watch your fingernails! OUCH! if you have sharp corners on them, it hurts like a summab¡tch!
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Old 06-10-2012, 11:19 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I have done a small version on anal play on my husband. Just finger tip..and he loved it..be moaned like crazy....yet he was also drunk. Even though he enjoyed it so much, he will not let me go near his "back side" sober, ever. I have told him its not gay...I am his wife. Its still a no go. So I don't push the issue. Really the pleasure is his loss...its not like I'm super eager to fondle his butt, but willing to do it to make him feel good. Lol
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Old 06-10-2012, 06:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: anal play...men

I highly recommend an Aneros. Prostate Massage, Sex Toys for Men, Male G-Spot, Prostate Stimulators Stimulation, Anal Toys
I bought the MGX for my husband and according to him, his orgasms are now off the charts.
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Old 06-10-2012, 11:20 PM   #10 (permalink)
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does anyone have a a husband/ male significant other that was sexually abused/raped as a child? this is one big problem that is obviously impacting our relationship sexually, especially in this area.
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Old 06-11-2012, 03:00 AM   #11 (permalink)
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I don't know about the tongue in the a*s. If so it better be damn clean. I know I wouldn't do it to my wife unless I new it was fresh out of the shower, and even then it might be a problem. But a lubed finger caressing around it, and just inside stimulating the prostate can be very intense for me.
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Old 06-11-2012, 04:20 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Nope,none of that stuff for me!
I'm adventurous in bed , tried lots of stuff , but just not into that.
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Old 06-11-2012, 09:51 AM   #13 (permalink)
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But make sure that the two of you shower together beforehand. He may have cleanliness anxiety if you just surprise him with it.
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Old 06-11-2012, 09:54 AM   #14 (permalink)
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do it whilst you're giving him a blow job and you'll have to scrape him off the ceiling
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Old 06-11-2012, 10:17 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Sorry for bullets only:

Agree with others about cleanliness. This may help.

A little booze is always good to lose inhibitions.

Perhaps let him know you have read allot about anal pleasure for you (now you don't have to agree to anal sec. but, perhaps the use of a small plug) lead by example if you have not already monkey see monkey do LOL. Plus it may help with the "gay" stigma. For example i used to date a women who used to climax like crazy from anal and don't think she was alone. There are scientific reasons why this is so pleasurable. If you find info to support this activity you may want to share. It certainly beats another post about missmatched libitos or porn, or to swallow/bj or not LOL.

I have become increasingly interested in anal play for me. I was raised very OPEN but, still...men are conditioned to avoid anything that points to homosexual tendansies no matter how slight or seemingly rediculous.

You might also put it in the context of "prostrate massage" men (some/many) like science to explain things. Point out to him that this is why men like it..not that they want another man in any way.
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