Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Okay, so how do I explain to my new partner how to pleasure my clitoris to orgasm with his mouth? I, myself, have never had to use my mouth to bring a woman to orgasm before. I've only ever brought myself to orgasm with my hands (and other toys.) I realize that everyone is a little different ala my other thread on continuing to suck and it may take some trial, error and communication, but I'm curious to hear how men who are successful at bringing their W to orgasm during cunnilingus would explain what they are doing. Partners who have been successful with me before never explained to me exactly what they were doing with their mouths / tongues.
And ladies - if you have been successful at verbally getting a guy to bring you to orgasm with his mouth, what did you say and how did you say it?
Tell him to imagine he's tracing his tongue in circles around the rim of a
" life savers candy ring. " Not too much pressure though.
As a matter of fact, just tell him what you prefer.
Works best that way.
First, the don'ts
1. Don't flick the clitoris extensively with his tongue. Just brief flicks a few times, or it will otherwise get annoying.
2. Don't pay too much attention to just the clitoris at a time. It gets too intense, which cannot be endured. Directly under the clitoris is also extremely sensitive, so play back and forth with the clit and under it.
By "play" I mean circling and licking with his tongue or tracing the alphabet like SamIam77 described. He should alternate between playing with, under, and around the clit and then sucking on it. There is a technique to sucking on the clitoris that will drive you wild. He has to purse his lips as if to whistle or like he would if he were sucking through a straw (he can practice this by sucking on his baby finger......or whistling......or sucking through a straw LOL). He can't do it too much at once. Just teasing it and spending more time on the area beneath the clitoris (between the clit and vag opening) and then back to suck on the clit. The sucking technique will make you orgasm and as he becomes more confident and does it a few times, he will learn what turns you on the most, and he'll learn to control your orgasms by knowing just when, how long, and how often to suck on it. He can end by bringing you to orgasm by sucking on it
Above the clitoris is not as sensitive as the other two areas, but it still feels very nice to have him playing there too as part of the whole experience.
Again, the area directly under is very sensitive. It's not as sensitive as the clitoris, but he'd be able to make you orgasm just by playing under the clit. My husband does this to me oftentimes. It takes a little longer but feels wonderful and is also a great orgasm. When he's in a really masterful mood, he just plays under my clitoris until I'm ready to cum, and then he quickly slides up to suck on my clit. I explode like mad.
Another way he can practice is to finger the area under your clitoris. If he's playful but firm, he'll make you cum just by fingering you there and never touching your clit.
Geeeeeez, I hope that wasn't too graphic for the forum but not really any other way to answer this question. If my response has to be deleted, I will understand.
how do you do it with your fingers?
have him mimic the same movements with his tongue then you can have him do other things just to try it out.
i had one ex that only wanted circles around it, not on it.
had one that wanted it directly on it.
had one that liked me to add in licking on and around the hole and pushing my tongue as far up inside as i could get.
some like a little salad tossing thrown into the mix too.
seems with this its the same as anything else.
each has their own they like or dislike.
just try different things, have him experiment different things to see what YOU like.
i like for the woman to tell me what she likes, otherwise how do i know?
my pleasure from it is just having my mouth on it so the technical side of the pleasure is only for her so i want to know what it is she likes or dont like.
Humming with my lips pursed around my ex's clit got her off and she also liked it when I would blow on it once in a while. I have a long tounge and she liked it when I would reach as far into her as I could.
Also don't forget the "tween": that patch of space between her vagina and anus. Posted via Mobile Device
Half the fun is finding out what works and does not work for a given woman. Too much focus directly on the clitoris too soon is not a good idea as has been mentioned. One way I can tell is when the clitoris and and surrounding area is engorged and throbbing for attention. Above the clitoris is less sensitive but very effective in leading up to more direct contact.
I suggest that when he does something that feels good ... you tell him to keep doing that. If it gets too sensitive tell him where to lick. But my wife has a way of directing me just with her movements. I can tell when she is ready for more attention to the clitoris.
You can also guide his attention with your fingers.
Adding some G-spot stimulation at the same time can be fun.
Some women when really aroused like those have their clitoris gently sucked into the mouth and massaged with the tongue.
Humming with my lips pursed around my ex's clit got her off and she also liked it when I would blow on it once in a while. I have a long tounge and she liked it when I would reach as far into her as I could.
Also don't forget the "tween": that patch of space between her vagina and anus. Posted via Mobile Device
Okay, so how do I explain to my new partner how to pleasure my clitoris to orgasm with his mouth? I, myself, have never had to use my mouth to bring a woman to orgasm before. I've only ever brought myself to orgasm with my hands (and other toys.) I realize that everyone is a little different ala my other thread on continuing to suck and it may take some trial, error and communication, but I'm curious to hear how men who are successful at bringing their W to orgasm during cunnilingus would explain what they are doing. Partners who have been successful with me before never explained to me exactly what they were doing with their mouths / tongues.
And ladies - if you have been successful at verbally getting a guy to bring you to orgasm with his mouth, what did you say and how did you say it?
well what works for me might not work for you
although I could come every time it's not just the oral stimulation that does the trick. A thumb and a couple of fingers in the mix never hurt anyone and a gentle graze of the teeth (or perhaps not so gentle ). And grab his head and direct him
Careful not to crush it with your thighs when he hits the spot though
well what works for me might not work for you
although I could come every time it's not just the oral stimulation that does the trick. A thumb and a couple of fingers in the mix never hurt anyone and a gentle graze of the teeth (or perhaps not so gentle ). And grab his head and direct him
Careful not to crush it with your thighs when he hits the spot though
i agree, a little teeth are good during oral, dont know why people are so afraid of that.
start off by licking around the clit and in the hole a bit, work up and down the labia, etc
eventually move on to enveloping the clit with my lips and gently flick with the tongue.
eventually start to suck the clit and go faster with the tongue, sometimes moving my head up and down almost pushing on the pubis. (I actually joke with the wife and say I am giving the clit a BJ)
I usually add my middle finger at that point and do a "come here" sign with it which will stimulate the G spot, I usually time my rhythm of the flicks and finger together
first orgasm usually starts within 5-7 minutes, by the 3rd or 4th O, she can't take anymore and pulls off
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How to explain pleasuring her button? 
). And grab his head and direct him
