Aristotle

I understand why some women would rather not give long bjs until the finish, because it seems boring and like a lot of work. I however, love giving oral to my wife. In fact, I could think about doing it all day, but after about 10 to 15 minutes my jaw (tmj) pops and gets really sore. I also get extremely bored and begin to lose my erection. My wife usually takes 30-45 minutes to orgasm with oral, while only 5 minutes with a wand/toy. I do not want to be selfish so I will continue to give oral, but after about 30-45 minutes, sometimes she will stop and ask for the wand. After 15 seconds of the wand, she cums. I understand this may be because I am throwing her off and human, but really? I work 45 minutes straight and you give the wand all the credit?

Anyway, for the first half of the marriage we did not have any toys or the wand, so each night I would get my wife off through oral sex, which normally would take 30 to 45 minutes. And although I loved getting her off, it became a hard to stay focused. I think the wand has gotten both of us lazy and it's almost as, she really doesn't want to get herself the slow work up anymore, but just that quick fix. Like a herion addict. I have became her enabler, because after about 10 minutes, I will look up and say you want your toy?

I wrote all that, to say, I understand why a women may love to give oral to her husband, but not finish him. I have became the same way with my wife. I want to see it, smell it, taste it, lick it, hear her moan, then watch her cum (but not after laying there for 45 minutes). I suppose this is why I am so careful with my wife and do not ask her to "finish" often. I enjoy the act, but doing it for too long takes the enjoyment out of it.

Anyone else experience this?

lamaga

Wow, that's a long time! I usually stop my H far before that, I don't want him to see it as a chore.

As far as me on him, I usually start off with a BJ, then intercourse, and then (occasionally) finish him off, so he's well primed before I restart. It only takes 3-4 mins that way.

Mavash.

I agree thats a long time. And this is why I don't particularly like vibes because yes they do make you lazy.

There is no way I'd let my husband do oral for that long. I don't want him to see it as a chore either. 10-15 minutes is long enough for me (and him).

Aristotle

There was a time before the wand, where she could get off oral in under 5 minutes. I think the wand/vibe has made her tolerance a bit higher and the tongue is too slow and soft. She still enjoys the licking/sucking intimacy though.

Married&Confused

do you try to get her off earlier? do you massage her g-spot of just use your mouth/tongue which probably isn't hitting the spot?

Maricha75

Hmmm... the funny thing about how long it takes... neither of us is watching the clock lol. However, if I feel it just ain't happening, I tell him to stop... and he will move up and get me off with his fingers. He won't use toys. I have a few, but he won't use them. All I have is the clit vibes because he feels like I would be comparing if using anything else. But he still doesn't want to use the little toys! It's one of those "I don't think they are needed, so not gonna use them" issues. I have had days where I thought of just getting one out, put it in his hand and say "try it damn it!"... but I don't, because he needs to work thru this issue without being forced.

Anyway, while 30-45 minutes is a long time (and it usually takes me that long regardless, except with toys)..we don't pay attention to the clock. If his jaw hurts, he does something else. And the same with me. If my jaw hurts, we move forward with something else as well.

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Mavash.

Once upon a time I got addicted to the wand. It got so bad I couldn't even O any other way. So I gave it up cold turkey (this was 20 years ago). Had to retrain myself how to O without batteries.

I'm in the 5 minute range now.

Maricha75

I'd say the toys numbed her. Because, honestly, when I have used mine solo, even days afterward, it still takes longer than 5 minutes with oral. Maybe it is other issues contributing...probably so. But I do think the toys "spoil" us, so to speak. lol

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Aristotle

I will be totally honest with you, she doesn't have any spot other than her clit that can get her off. I have seen the videos, the different texture a few inches in and up, but all women aren't the same. She enjoys fingers in her when she cums from oral, to feel that pressure, but there isn't a spot just absolutely making her go crazy, except her clit.

Maricha, the time is a guesstimate. Unless she has a clock on her pubic bone or sphincter, I also am not watching a clock .

Zippy the chimp

I can't understand why anyone would put a timer on anything that goes on in bed, what happens there should be spontaneous, without any thoughts about how long anything takes(except the occasional quickie before work etc. ) I don't have a time it takes my wife to O but then again I can get it done pretty quick if its that kind of session or just tease the heck out of her and slowly bring it on. One of the greatest things is taking your time to explore new areas that really turn her on, couple of the newest areas I have found last several months is behind her left knee and what I have read is the female prostate area (kinda spongy area near the front, not her G spot thats farther back). Then again I don't mind going down on her 2 or three times in a session like I said I don't worry too much about the clock 10 minutes or 2 hours its all fun.

keeper63

I have given my wife oral in the past for so long, that my tongue has gone completely numb (like novocaine at the dentist), and made me talk funny afterwards.

But I don't really mind that so much, to me it is worth it for her to get off multiple times. Usually, she will orgasm after 10-15 minutes anyway, which is totally manageable.

Sometimes, if it is taking her a long time, we will break out the vibe, and she can usually finish in less than 5 minutes from using it. Unlike other posters, I don't feel bad if I work on her clit for 20 or 30 minutes with my tongue, and then have to use the vibrator to go the last few yards to the finish line. As long as she gets off, I don't really care how it happens.

Aristotle

I agree with this. I mean, she frustrates herself. If it's slightly chilly, she will put cover on her legs. She can't really listen to music, it throws her off. She lets me build it up but doesn't release until she grabs the toy. I think it's a crutch. She knows it's easy, and within 15 seconds she can release.

Aristotle

I do not put a time on it, other than talking on the forums and describing the situation. I mean, I guess I could have wrote the original post and said, "I love oral sex as long as it doesn't destroy my jaw, I hate it when it does....." I don't know why people are getting so hung up on the time. I've been married 15 years, so if you are in the 15 year range and you do not know the difference between oral for 45 minutes or 10, then I don't know what to tell you. I do, my jaw does, and my tongue does.

Like I said, my wife doesn't have this magic g spot, but she does love my penis hitting the back during sex and my finger rubbing around the rim during oral. She does has the small little rough/spongy area, but this makes her get the pee urge. She doesn't like or dislike it any more than my rubbing around her rim. I agree with the knees, my wife can cum quicker with the wand if I lick around her knees (under and on top). Weird you mention that.

We are a very open an experimental couple here, so I have explored her areas for hours, sometimes in one sitting (which is the problem to begin with).

My wife also cannot cum through just intercourse. She prefers a penis and direct stimulation to her clit. She cannot orgasm without this direct stimulation though, but she doesn't need the penis.

kag123

I am not sure if you posted this looking for advice to get it done quicker, or just to commiserate?

My H doesn't take that long to finish usually during BJ, however his excitement is directly related to my excitement and taking pleasure in what I am doing. If I feel myself getting to that point where my jaw is aching, or gag reflex is kicking in, or whatever I usually switch it up to something else. It doesn't happen often but if I continue he always knows when I am having a difficult time and then it kills the mood a bit and takes him longer - the downward spiral.

For your wife -

1. Try ditching the vibrator completely for awhile. Like at least a few weeks. See if her sensitivity returns. It is absolutely easy to desensitize yourself using something that produces 1000 rpms, something a human body cannot possibly duplicate.

2. She can sense when you are not into it, so just stop when you get to that point. I can tell you that I can O in half the time if I know my H is into it, especially if I can see he's got an erection. When I can tell he's getting bored or tired I get caught in the same downward spiral mentioned above...my mind wanders and I lose the moment.

3. If she's taking any kind of hormonal BC it can affect her ability to O.

I am a woman who has always had difficulty achieving O. 30-45 minutes is not unheard of for me, although its getting better with age and practice. No one, man or woman, wants to feel that their partner is bored or that tue clock is ticking when they are trying to get to an O!
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ItMatters

I'm almost an oral only girl- but ditto if after 10min or so I'm not thinking i'm going to get there we move onto other things. Usually I O in the 5-10 range oral, 3-5 with a toy.

I will use a toy during intercourse and to O from just sex is damn near impossible for me.

I think you are amazing if you can go that long! (and I wouldn't expect it)

I definitely don't go more than 15min on a BJ either.