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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Am I being a horrible wife?

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 06-14-2012, 01:56 PM   #136 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am I being a horrible wife?

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Originally Posted by Tall Average Guy View Post
Does he know that? Have you told him that these things make a difference? When you give off a vibe that you don't want to talk to anyone, people tend to not stick around. Yesterday was terrible day at work - I stayed way late, had to bring work home, stayed up late doing it. I was tired and not in a good mood and certainly gave off the vibe not to talk to me. Funny thing was, people did exactly that. I was greated at the door, but everyone, my wife included, pretty much kept a wide bearth. I started off a bit ticked, but quickly realized that was on me. It is not up to others to beg to be around me - I need to give them a reason to as well. Are you giving him a reason to interact with you?

Finally, when is the last time you did something nice for him when you got home? Ever stop by the store to pick up his favorite take out or beer? Again, what do you do to make him feel special? Is it truly him falling down or is it both of you letting life get in the way?
As per the first line of my paragraph you quote, he never takes on board what I say. Sometimes he's do it once, but that's it, even if it is gratefully received by me, it doesnt' continue from him.

I often do nice little things for him - pick him up a bar of chocolate that I know he likes at the petrol station on my way home, cook him tea if I'm first home, bake him cakes. OK, no grand gestures, but I am not asking for grand gestures either.
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Old 06-14-2012, 02:18 PM   #137 (permalink)
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Default Re: Am I being a horrible wife?

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Originally Posted by VickiC View Post
As per the first line of my paragraph you quote, he never takes on board what I say. Sometimes he's do it once, but that's it, even if it is gratefully received by me, it doesnt' continue from him.

I often do nice little things for him - pick him up a bar of chocolate that I know he likes at the petrol station on my way home, cook him tea if I'm first home, bake him cakes. OK, no grand gestures, but I am not asking for grand gestures either.
Thanks for the response. He does seem to be falling down on this.

Let me suggest you search for His Needs Her Needs and have the two of you fill out the questionaire. It can be helpful to determine your "love languages", that is, how do you recieve love. It may help him to understand that he needs to do these little things for you to receive his love. It also may help you if the things you are doing to show love (baking a cake, for example), are not ways that he "hears" or receives very well. It may help you to work smarter with your relationship.
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