Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Hello everyone. So, me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years and we have an amazing sex life. We are both 19 and got together when we were 14. We had sex for the first time when we were 16.
At first, the sex was passionate, missionary, romantic sex. I loved it. Just because it was so new and exciting to me.
Then a couple years down the road, I started really getting turned on by being handled roughly. I like him to degrade me, slap me, talk dirty, all kinds of different kinky stuff that I won't go into in full detail. He loves it too.
My question is, is it unhealthy for me to never want "normal" sex anymore? Could we be harming are relationship and not realizing it? Aside from sex we are very sweet and affectionate.
I just find that vanilla sex no longer turns me on.
well, variety is the spice of life. I don't want all rough sex anymore than I want all vanilla sex. So if you always want it dirty, you might want to think about what it is that's really going on inside of you. Do you think that's the only thing you deserve?
I'm a little more concerned about the fact that you've been with one guy since you were 14. That's no way to see the world. But that's also not what you asked, so forgive me. But think about it.
You're 19. You'll go through many sexual things before you know exactly what you like.
If you like rough sex now, then do rough sex now. I was HEAVILY into bondage in my early 20s. Now, I don't frequent the clubs at all or wear the outfits (as much )
Enjoy the sex. You trust him, he trusts you...it's fine.
People go through phases in their sexual lives, just like they do in their lives otherwise. Your turn-ons and interests and fantasies may change over time, or not, as you develop your sexuality and experience more of sex and life.
As long as it is consensual and you are both enjoying it, I wouldn't worry about it. If you are playing rough, it's good to have a 'safe word' - a pre-specified and agreed upon word that either of you can use to immediately stop the action if you want to, a word that you would normally not be say during sex...like, watermelon or Christmas tree.
I find that as a relationship develops and matures people have changes in what they like. It ebbs and flows. Something you loved a couple years ago doesn't do it for you now and vice versa.
The important thing is to tell your SO your desires and if they love you and are committed to the relationship then they should try to meet your desires (within reason).
If your SO isn't into rough sex maybe tell him that he doesn't have to do it EVERY time but at least once a week he could make the effort to do that because you like it. Likewise if there is something he loves that you don't care for then to go the extra mile and meet his desire to show him good will.
Relationships are about making the other person feel loved how they want to feel loved and compromise. You may not always get what you want but if sufficient love is there they should be able to meet your desire at least some time--Unless they have some serious moral objection to it which boundaries should be discused prior to sex in the relationship.
My opinion is rough is good there's nothing unhealthy about it. That said, my issue is that it might be hard from the guy's perspective to keep that kind of energy up year after year. It's hard to keep upping the ante. That's why I think that variety is good and that once in a while gentle lovemaking is needed. Even if you get off on real masochistic pain, you should also welcome the soothing that comes after it.
well, variety is the spice of life. I don't want all rough sex anymore than I want all vanilla sex. So if you always want it dirty, you might want to think about what it is that's really going on inside of you. Do you think that's the only thing you deserve?
I'm a little more concerned about the fact that you've been with one guy since you were 14. That's no way to see the world. But that's also not what you asked, so forgive me. But think about it.
Yeah but I love him and he loves me. Relationships great. I wouldn't change a thing.
WorkingOnMe- That is a great suggestion. I honestly never really thought about it that way. I will start trying to throw in some vanilla, lovey dovey sex every now and then. Haha.
WorkingOnMe- That is a great suggestion. I honestly never really thought about it that way. I will start trying to throw in some vanilla, lovey dovey sex every now and then. Haha.
Only if that is what he wants or needs. Talk to him and make sure that each of you is giving the other what they need.
WorkingOnMe- That is a great suggestion. I honestly never really thought about it that way. I will start trying to throw in some vanilla, lovey dovey sex every now and then. Haha.
First you slap her face, then you stroke her cheek. What can I say, I'm a romantic.
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I only want rough sex? 
Re: I only want rough sex? 
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