Aristotle said: His caring and sensitive bedroom behavior is one of the reasons you now trust him enough to be rough and aggressive, because you know he'd never really hurt you. It's a wonderful thing and when you communicate let him know your urge to get it a bit more rougher just sparked, and he is the only man you'd ever trust to absolutely ravish you.
My wife told me from the beginning that she wanted her arms held down, legs held up, and needed aggression. Had she never told me I'd still try to be my idea of a perfect, gentle, lover. COMMUNICATE.
I like this ^^^^ This is how I felt ....truly...I landed on this forum with this
particular desire, a very similar question....though I never cared about this or gave it a thought until 19 yrs into my marriage (!@#$%^&) My very 1st thread here : Husbands who are not Dominate enough & Wives who are - how to reverse roles?
In our case, I can't say my husband ever reached the heights of aggression I wanted or craved, but it was still "good" .... Due to my pursuit to get him more WILD in bed, I took to reading many books to understand him, why he couldn't step it up...into my fantasy realm... to spank my ass , talk dirty, throw me down on the bed, up against a wall and take me like that........ he struggled..... when he did try to spank me, I had to tell him HARDER , then he started laughing. What can you do!
We learned so much about each other & our Lover styles
in the last 3 yrs ..amazingly to find we are a Perfectly compatible -even if some of my fantasies are wilder & more aggressive than he can deliver to me. I tend to be "the deliverer"...and he likes aggressive woman!
The 1st step is to communicate your desires...for sure. Do this young & early in a marraige, it is something we didn't do and I highly regret.
This book really helped ME understand WHY I couldn't get my husband more aggressive. Yours may be able to slip into this role just fine once you open up this box...but if not...... just some aids to help you understand why... for my husband......he is the way he is & it was fruitless to try and change his Lover style... When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life Books 10 libido types
, and Reactive
I discovered I was a Erotic/ Dependent and he was a Sensual /Reactive. Reactives are generally NOT aggressive lovers. Sensuals are the Love makers, it is very emotional for them, sensitive and heartfully consuming. I could not turn my husband into an Erotic or I would be banging my head against the wall.
Also ....here is a Lover Style Test you can take with your husband to see where he falls , and yourself...it will even tell you which is preferred for each type. (It was an interesting discovery to find Me & mine were a perfect match ....even though I was more of the natural pursuer, the Don Juan if you will...I was the Suave, he was the Devoted).
2 links -same test >> HelloQuizzy.com: The Lover Style Profile Test ........ OkCupid | Take The Lover Style Profile Test
Results would be : Classic Lover
The Exotic Lover
The Suave Lover
The Carnal Lover
The Devoted Lover
The Surprising Lover
The Romantic Lover
The Liberated Lover
Let us know how this goes....