lamaga

SA, I just call that one of God's little jokes on humanity.

Or, as Robert Frost said, Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.

thunderstruck

I'm 44...no drop in drive/performance at all. Sucks to be with a very LD wife.

__________________
Instant karma's gonna get you. -Lennon

cent130130

Clearly there is a diversity of opinion and situations described on this thread. I am a 50+ male, married to woman of the same age for 26+ years. We are developing an increasing discrepancy in our drive (mine is significantly higher) as we age. I doubt it matters much to the HD spouse whether it is the man or the woman in someone else's marriage, their own situation is the frustration.

I suspect that it is more common for the woman to lose her drive as menopause approaches and then passes, but clearly that is not the case for every couple. I think the most critical advice (which I find easier to give then effectively implement) is for the husband and the wife to communicate, and make a sincere effort to understand the other's point of view, affirm it as legitimate, and try to reach some reasonable middle ground. I don't think it is helpful for the wife, in a situation like mine where the husband is HD, to act like the husband's desires are unreasonable and say that he should "accept his age" and stop trying to "recapture his youth."

Open, safe, kind communication solves a lot of problems, but is aggravatingly difficult to accomplish.

GoodToBeMarried

This is quite an old post and I hope I can still answer to this question.

My wife and I agree that sex has to be nurtured to become a part of our life. We make it a point to share something sensual that we believe will lead us to sexual intercourse later.

Examples like (for her) choosing a tight fitting pants to flaunt her asset (yes, THE ASS-et ), direct me to look at another sexy woman when we went shopping, knowing I'll only see her nakedness, (for me) toughing her on areas she like being touched, kissing, etc.

Sometime we failed to have sex, but most of the time, we try to have it daily.

Yes, nurture your relationship with your husband. Nurture your intimacies. Talk it out. Make know and make pact to do something each day to stimulate each other. Your tools will become sensitive again through frequent use.

MrVanilla

I'm over 50 and have little drive, but never really had that much to begin with. Not only do 'they say' men lose 3% a year after 30, but also a 30% drop after children, and another drop if they're at home instead of an outside workforce... given the opportunity we'd have sex one a week... but twice a month is more of a reality - and I'm fine with that. It's just not that important anymore.