Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
My H frequently complains about the effect of age on sex drive. Says he wishes we'd been together when we were younger. We are in our 50's have sex most days sometimes twice a day.
He says the 'driving need' is not as intense and he can distract himself from being horny, unlike when he was younger and he couldn't keep his mind off it.
It occurred to me that this is not an age issue for me...yet ( i haven't begun or gone through menopause).
I still feel the same intensity or drive as I did when young and when horny almost nothing will take my mind off it.
Im sorry he feels that way, he obviously notices a difference between then and now..
I wondered if other couples as they age and assuming reasonable health, find the intensity level for the man eases off with age and for the woman it stays the same as always? Posted via Mobile Device
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Re: Age and Sex
I'm in my mid fifties and yes there has been a dramatic drop in my sex drive over the last 10 years. We still have a healthy sex life but honestly it is nowhere near a daily need for me any more. When we do get together there is no measurable drop in intensity, performance or satisfaction. My wife has been in menopause for about 5 years now, coupled with a lot of stress and some self esteem issues so her drive has dwindled to about 0. This has been a LD/HD marriage for many years but we've learned over the past couple of years to better deal with it and keep us both happier. It is not ideal but it is workable for us both.
I am also in my 50s. My ability hasn't diminished that much *knock on wood* but mentally, I just don't think about sex that much any more. My SO on the other hand has gone into overdrive since she went through menopause.
I'm 49, H is 55.... we have sex daily (and more during summer vacation), and he says something similar. His deal is he wishes he could cum more often during a single session as he did in his younger days.
If you enjoy how often sex is happening, just keep the compliments going!
I'm in my late fifties and like Amplexor said, when we get together there is no measurable drop in intensity, performance or satisfaction.
But it does take me a few minutes to mentally shift gears now. I can't just instantly spring to attention (So to speak...) when my wife is in the mood.
It doesn't take much. Maybe sharing a glass of wine with her sitting in my lap for a few minutes or something equally silly.
It has definitely made me more empathetic to a woman's need to ease into the mood gradually.
Needs to have his testosterone checked. A mans test drops by 1 to 3% per year after 30. It can make a massive difference.
I am pushing 53 and mine was nearly bottomed out, my drive was gone and I had many other symptoms quite akin to what a woman experiences during menopause.
I am now on testosterone and can not get my mind off of it again.
Thanks for the interesting replies and the humourous one
I suppose I just feel sad that although performance and satisfaction for him is still intense, his awareness of being sexual has diminished.
Maybe I'm afraid it will happen to me too. Posted via Mobile Device
Like all issues of aging, you need to focus on what you do have, rather than bemoaning what you have lost.
Our frequency is every other day, and we find that we maintain intensity by skipping a day. Let the desire build a bit. You may discover that quality is preferable to quantity.
Many women experience a drastic INCREASE in their sexual drive in their 40s and beyond.
Yeah, I am one of them!
This is the truth of the matter, hormonally speaking... MEN are in their Prime in their teens - early 20's ....Testosterone raging..they can't think straight.... this IS our LUST hormone...
I have read books on it -because I didn't know these things either -till I had a sex drive increase myself (women's PRIME is in their late 30's -early 40's generally -that is why they call them >> COUGARS)... then we hit menapouse and it all collapses (generally speaking not all- don't jump on me !).
I was near going out of my mind wanting him to "keep up"...when I hit 42 & he was 45. You are very blessed notsocool ..... 2 times a day for a man in his 50's !! I wouldn't even say that is all that common......but HIGHER drive.
He is not going to be a candidate for TEST treatment with that going on, I can assure you of that. My husband wasn't "low enough" when I had him tested.
Don't take this personal, men slowly calm the raging beast as they age...their test slowly decreases with every passing year... their estrogen levels even go up a little. It all makes perfect sense he is feeling the way he is saying. (Believe me, I want to spit on it too!)
Mine is now 48 and his limit is once a day unless I pump him with Viagra . I am upset I was less interested in the early years... I really feel God plays a cruel Joke on the sexes when it comes to our drives.
Here is something I found on the net to explain this...
Quote:
Balance the seesaw .
When they were first married, the man remembered, he always took the sexual lead, pulling his wife close and whispering his desire to make love. But now, 20 years later, she often makes the first move.
Again, hormonal changes are bringing the couple into closer balance. Men and women both produce testosterone and estrogen, but the proportion of each changes over the years. The male's shifting levels of estrogen and testosterone may make him more willing to follow than to lead, happy for his wife to set the pace. And as a woman's estrogen declines and her testosterone becomes proportionately greater, she may become more assertive.
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Age and Sex 
