Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
lol that was an EXAMPLE use... not me saying text EXACTLY what SHE did... lmao!!
So what you're saying is that you got the joke.
Here's something more serious, but you'll probably think it's funny as well. When we were first dating, I'd have my wife over and if she needed to use the bathroom, she'd make me go to the far end of the house. Eventually she got comfortable enough with me that she could poop with me in the bathroom.
My wife is interesting. In the context of some recent MC discussion, she's probably done a hell of a good job of keeping me attracted to her by being so interesting. But I don't think she does it on purpose. She doesn't remember large parts of her teenage years due to a brain injury she had in a car accident, but I think she was a wild teen and she got a lot of guilt from her peers over the car accident - her best friend died.
She was 13 and she was in a car with her boyfriend, who was 16, when he hit a telephone pole. The boyfriend had a sprained ankle. She had a broken leg requiring a stainless steel pin which she has to this day, and she had a concussion and couldn't see for a few days after the accident - but she was probably saved from worse injury by the automatic shoulder belt. Her best friend was unbelted.
So I think this may have been formative in that it perhaps resulted in a inversion to overtly flirtyness. She doesn't wear makeup, she doesn't show cleavage, she's not into skirts or heels.
But she enjoys being pursued, and she's wild in bed. Personally, I know her so it kind of makes any little invitation from her says a lot.
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The thread linked below is about as close as I get to my story, it has my posts about the point where I turned my marriage around and on the day my wife was planning to move out, instead we started a new beginning. I've been keeping my updates in this thead as well: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general...-sex-life.html
I don't understand how a car accident and flirtyness have any correlation with each other at all. Maybe an aversion to car rides I guess....
You have a very interesting way of reading into things. However interesting your thought process is, I think your way off about your wife's texting as well as the car accident. JMO though
Oh sorry, I left out a HUGE step in that. (I forgot because originally I had this typed up on one laptop but had to retype it on another because the first laptop overheated and shut down before I hit the post button) She got a LOT of guilt from classmates at school, it really made her withdraw. It's not hard to understand how this worked, remember 13 year old girl with 16 year old boy. She was rebelling. Then she gets blamed by her peers for the death of her best friend. At a time in her life when her hormones were raging and her sexuality was being formed, she was experiencing an extraordinary assault on her ego.
And yes, she also did not have a driver's license when I met her. She was 21 at the time.
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The thread linked below is about as close as I get to my story, it has my posts about the point where I turned my marriage around and on the day my wife was planning to move out, instead we started a new beginning. I've been keeping my updates in this thead as well: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general...-sex-life.html
I don't understand how a car accident and flirtyness have any correlation with each other at all. Maybe an aversion to car rides I guess....
You have a very interesting way of reading into things. However interesting your thought process is, I think your way off about your wife's texting as well as the car accident. JMO though
I actually read something different in that. He said she had a brain injury. That actually made me think there MIGHT have been something affected there. But then when he clarified the ridicule she got regarding the best friend's death... I don't understand how they would even remotely think it could be her fault!
On a side note... I had a trigger from a car accident I had been in at age 24. I had a fractured, dislocated hip. I have a metal plate/chain in there because a piece actually broke off. I hadn't been wearing my seat belt and I was thrown within the van. The weird thing about it... if my then-fiance's (now husband) seat belt hadn't released on it's own, I would have been thrown on him... and the force of that would have likely killed him.
Sorry, about that... not your fault for the trigger.
Let's get back to talking about sexting our spouses!!
Did she ever see a therapist or a counselor to help her sort out her feelings any time on her life after the accident? I know a few people of varying ages who are still affected by how they were treated in HS. Nothing as dramatic as your wife's incident but it did in some unfortunate way help shape how they are today.
I also can't imagine why they would blame her for it. Kids can be so cruel.
Yeah she had a lot of counseling and group therapy and stuff, and I think she had things that did not get resolved.
The brain injury is part of the picture, she attributes her anxiety to her brain injury. She also attributes her bad memory to the brain injury.
As far as the why of kids blaming her, it's something she says she doesn't remember. I can only speculate.
As far as the texting to spouses, I won't have much to add tomorrow, it's her work from home day. The weather is going to be hot again and I think our window air conditioners can't keep up with the temperatures we've been getting. She's going to have to work topless again I think. (wink wink, nudge nudge)
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The thread linked below is about as close as I get to my story, it has my posts about the point where I turned my marriage around and on the day my wife was planning to move out, instead we started a new beginning. I've been keeping my updates in this thead as well: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general...-sex-life.html
Flirtiness is very important in a relationship, and I think it's up to the man to take the lead on that. I will flirt back outrageously. Posted via Mobile Device
Flirtiness is very important in a relationship, and I think it's up to the man to take the lead on that. I will flirt back outrageously. Posted via Mobile Device
Why is it up to the man to take the lead? Don't you think men get tired of being in charge of EVERYTHING?
My man loves it when I flirt with him. I actually have never known a man who didn't love it.
Perhaps she was "flirting" with the 16 year old and the distraction led to the accident? Not saying it was her fault. Not at all. A driver is responsible for his actions. But maybe that type of thinking is how she connects flirting with the accident in her mind.
On the surface, yes I'll admit that my first reaction to the posted texting example was that Will is reading too much into it....possibly with some wishful thinking. But thinking about it further, the thing is, this kind of thing has to be taken in the context of the relationship and personalities involved. My wife is much more direct, but that doesn't mean that all women are. On Monday my wife texted me: "tonight. bed early." so I guess I don't really need to read too much into it. Unless she just meant she was really tired.
My H never texts me like that. He's always formal. Once i saw a text he sent some OW(he had an affair) and I asked about it. He said that he can't talk to me like that cause he doesn't want me to be that kind of girl.
My H never texts me like that. He's always formal. Once i saw a text he sent some OW(he had an affair) and I asked about it. He said that he can't talk to me like that cause he doesn't want me to be that kind of girl.
Sounds like he has that madonna/wh*re complex with you being the madonna/good girl.
Quote:
Originally Posted by daffodilly
I WISH I could send racy texts to DH. Unfortunately the IT guys at his company have access to all the stuff they receive....so unless we were voyeuristic, not going to happen.
Why can't you send texts to his personal phone which you can get from a company he doesn't work for?
Why is it up to the man to take the lead? Don't you think men get tired of being in charge of EVERYTHING?
My man loves it when I flirt with him. I actually have never known a man who didn't love it.
Me neither... but then I married one!
Sexting would make him go to the bar after work instead of coming home. Once I sent a pic of me wearing lingerie. Because he was AT the bar, and I wanted him to come home.
Apparantely I waited too long. he was too drunk to check his phone by then LOL. It embarasses him hugely. He turns purple and doesn't respond. He's 7.
I think I get ur wife. Used to be a time when DH only talked or called when he wanted sex. Made me feel like thats the only time I was inportant to him. Now, when he texts me they are more meaningfull, and can lead to flirty, with a hint of sex. No preasure for sex, makes me want to have it more. Keep going with what ur doing, it must be working, she's still there!
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Re: A recent example of how I text my wife 
