A recent example of how I text my wife

WillK · 06-20-2012, 08:50 AM

Here's my exchange with my wife from Monday:
10:29 Her: I have old bag aerobics tonight btw

(she's been in an aerobics class where she's the youngest by a generation)
10:30 Me: Were you saying this is the last one
10:30 Her: Yea
10:31 Me: Poor you with no exercise next week.
10:39 Her: If you can, I am out of <something>

Note here, I sent my response at 10:31 and while I had somewhere for the conversation to go, I did not make myself appear needy by asking her why she stopped responding. I waited for her next response at 10:39. And I'm not saying what she wanted me to pick up at the store. It wasn't sexual. It's relevant to later conversation though, so let's say it's a product women need.

10:44 Me: Does this have anything to do with the naked aerobics i was going to offer you next week? Of course I can, I don't even remember the last time you had to buy that on your own :P

See what I did there... I had to think about it a few minutes, but I picked up the conversation where I was meaning to take it before. I still responded to her question, and I did it all playfully.

11:03 Her: Yeah true

11:05 Me: What can I say, you have a nice &@%!! I want to take care of it

(I was driving, and the text to speech translator on the phone actually put in those symbols for the word I said - I thought it was funny)

11:08 Her: Naked aerobics like in natiional lampoons.. when theywere in France LOL
11:12 Me: You naughty dirty girl! Do you want me to pick you up for lunch and eat you out?

(I think this kind of sank in subconsciously because yesterday she really really had a craving for oral sex)

11:13 Her: No. gonna walk to McDonalds
11:15 Me: Want me to take you?

(Double entendre!)

11:17 Her: I need the exercise...u would have to be in work clothes too.

(See, her real meaning was she wants the exercise from walking to McDonalds, and if I joined her I'd have to wear clothes like I was at my job. She knew I was in shorts and t-shirt, and she works with her mom and we haven't told her mom I'm out of work.)

This one was full of potential double meaning in the context of the previous conversation. I knew what she was saying consciously, but I think her inner **** managed to slip it out in a way that was open to interpretation. I ran with it.

11:21 Me: Well I'll give you a workout but I didn't know you were into dressing up

I'll just eat my sandwich and save youfor later.

See, my vehicle is a full size truck and the gas is low, and moneys a little tight so I wasn't that set on driving to meet her for lunch.

11:29 Her: Oh.. ok.. U could come if u wanted

Holy libido driven subtext!!! I felt like if she was innocently and unintentionally using double meanings before, now she was flagrantly signalling back. At this point, I'd be an idiot not to take the invitation from her and join her for lunch. Even though she had no idea her subconscious was sending me these hidden signals, if I didn't join her for lunch her subconscious would have perceived me as rejecting her signals.

that_girl · 06-20-2012, 09:02 AM

Um. You read too much into things...no? I guess since you were actually texting, it made sense to you...

As You Wish · 06-20-2012, 09:15 AM

I should copy/paste a sexting convo between DH and me and show you how it's really done.

Maricha75 · 06-20-2012, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by As You Wish

I should copy/paste a sexting convo between DH and me and show you how it's really done.

Hehe I could easily do that too....

WillK · 06-20-2012, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by that_girl

Um. You read too much into things...no? I guess since you were actually texting, it made sense to you...

That and I have no clue how much detail to provide because I know I can provide too much and loose the interest of my audience, or I can provide not enough and fail to make my point.

The point is that there's a lot of very indirect things going on. If I'm making an assumption about the sexuallity of her response, I'm accomplishing something. There are a couple of possibilities, and they're all good. If she's as sexual as I pretend she is, then I'm giving her a feeling of being comfortable with that sexuality. If she isn't, then I'm making her laugh thus making her comfortable with me and more open to my suggestions.

I'm also avoiding doing some things that are bad. I am not being direct about sexual plans I have, if I did that and she was not in the mood then I would be creating a fear response and c-blocking myself.

I'd be all for getting examples from others. I'm new to this, we've been married 10 years and my wife before this used texting to chat with her sisters and that was it. So we've never really gotten into texting the way it's done now on the dating scene or whatever... From what I've been doing, it's worked well for me to build sexual tension, so I'm happy but I'd always be glad to have an opportunity to do better.

that_girl · 06-20-2012, 10:31 AM

TO me, the text sounds like you read too much into it and she is annoyed. That's what *I* got out of your texting.

Innuendos and all of that garbage? What? I saw a woman trying to avoid that type of talk....and she really wanted McDonald's.

Hubs and I text dirty...and it's dirrrrrty and silly.

No offense, but your texting isn't innuendos...YOU think it is...well, maybe it is, i don't know your wife and all.

But get silly and dirty! I just texted Hubs a dirty text...our convo went like this:

Me: My jayjay is wet.
Him: Oh yea? (

He always says that and it cracks me up)
Me: yea, just got out of the shower.
Him: Want me to blow it dry?
Me: When you get home from work

Him: What else are you doing?
Me: Trying to relax my hard nipples.
Him: .......
Me: LOL!
Him: Damnit. Now I can't stand up for a minute.

that's just being silly.

Try something dirty with your wife. She's YOUR wife, after all.

But don't read too much into things. I'm sorry she's not sexually responsive.

That sucks.

WillK · 06-20-2012, 11:11 AM

It's period week, which has been off limits for years. I mean we used to do it when we were first dating, but until yesterday no.

Yesterday we did it 3 times.

You've got to remember, 5 weeks ago my wife was ready to move out and there was no sex at all. I was at that time asking all wrong, I was asking in a manner that made her uncomfortable - like it was all about sex and I didn't care about anything else.

Here's the last few we just exchanged.

Me: You could always come home early if you're too bored at work. That is... if you want to come.

Her: I wish I could... mom would be mad (remember, she works for her mom)
Me: It canwait ifyoucan, you can still come after the kids go to bed, I know you can't wait and it will be my pleasure to service you.
Her: I know..my phone islow on battery btw

I'm easing her back into being comfortable with our sexuality.

But thanks for the examples of what you're texting, I would certainly like to provide my wife with a comfort level that she can do that. Honestly, do you think she'd be comfortable if I showed her your response and said "Why can't you text me like that?" I suspect that wouldn't work. Besides, building to that point is a journey, and the journey is where the fun is.

Almostrecovered · 06-20-2012, 11:17 AM

recent text exchange

me: I'm horny
her: me too, let's go upstairs and get busy

please note that she was sitting next to me at the time

Maricha75 · 06-20-2012, 11:26 AM

Will, I have to say... I was close to leaving my husband (or kicking him out)... and the texts we exchanged after reconnecting were FAR more sexually charged than those you have posted... and before that, we weren't sending sexts to each other AT ALL. No innuendo, nothing.

Now, I will get the occasional conversation:
H: Cum here.
Me: Kids are awake!

H: So? You will just have to be quiet.
Me:.... you know me better than that.

All ending with me going into the bedroom with him LOL

Honestly, you could show her these posts, and say you hope to be able to have this much openness with her, in time. That way, she knows you would like it... but she has no time constraint.

WillK · 06-20-2012, 11:36 AM

Well that's not so different from my point. It is a matter of presentation. If I showed her these posts and said "Why can't you be like that" it's a turnoff, if it's framed as something I'd like absent pressure, then it's much more comfortable.

I've been able to converse with her that I'd like to get us back to a state where we have sex almost every day. She said maybe, and I've heard enough of her maybes to know that what she meant is that she's been put off by the way I used to be, but she's warming up to me and if I keep it up, then yes.

That comes from body language and tone - the stuff I maybe didn't really notice before.

Like I said, I can see it improving before my eyes. I'm happy with that, and I think it's improving at a rate that is better than I expected. I didn't expect to get any until her next peak in the cycle.

Heck. I planned my upcoming vascectomy around her schedule.. Now I feel like I'm going to have to miss out during my recovery time. I guess that's a good problem to have though.

that_girl · 06-20-2012, 03:06 PM

I don't think your wife is that into it, sorry.

She doesn't sound flirty...just like she's getting back to you so she doesn't seem rude.

That's just my impression. You should just stop. She did say her battery was low.

These are NOT sexual texts. They are kinda like the texts I have with friends.

Her reply about lunch "Oh...ok.... you can come if you wanted to" is just her being nice. No double meaning. She doesn't really want you to join her, but she doesn't want to see rude.

I tell you this so you don't ruin any chance at reconciliation. These texts are ok if you just see them for what they are, but please don't read into them.

lamaga · 06-20-2012, 03:08 PM

Okay, guys...WillK knows his wife and his situation, and we don't. He feels pretty good about this, so let's stop tearing him down.

that_girl · 06-20-2012, 03:09 PM

Or maybe I'm wrong and this is 'sexy' for y'all.

Mah bad. Glad it's working for you.

FirstYearDown · 06-20-2012, 03:09 PM

We do not text, but sometimes we send sexy emails.

Recent message from my husband: "I gave you a grope on those sexy boobs while you were sleeping. You didn't move, but that's okay because you'll be moving with me tonight in bed."

Today made a dirty phone call and whispered all sorts of dirty things in my husband's ear. I could hear the excitement in his voice. "Keep it wet for me...you wait till I get home Mrs!"

ItMatters · 06-20-2012, 03:15 PM

Be flirty and use the word CUM instead of come at least.

I agree- wife isn't really sounding into this (my cellphone battery is low?!)- I think WillK just needs to be a bit more overt that HE is being flirty and then she will either respond or not- or he can just tell her he'd like to be flirty with her during the day.