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Ladies, how important is sexual intercourse to you?

9K views 34 replies 19 participants last post by  Cyber Cheating Stinks 
#1 ·
Also, would you be able to settle for great oral sex and passionate kssing?
 
#23 ·
What i meant is that if the marriage is basically good then it's work keeping. And if my husband had medical reasons why he could not have intercourse then we'd find a way to make things for.

For one thing there are toys.

But if he could not have intercouse, how satisfying would sex be to him?
 
#27 ·
I agree with the emotional connection & being connected in other ways. I wish I had that the way I used to. Perhaps I will in the future. I just don't feel it now. He feels connected to me, so that's good. I am under so much stress from so many sources right now, I just want to be left alone. Sex is not relaxing or something I look forward to. It's a another job right now. But he doesnt know that. I don't punish or berate or deny him for his need.
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#18 ·
It's very important to me. But again, if it was the case of medical that made it impossible to do, I would be okay with it as long as the guy was willing to address it with an MD or therapist and I wasn't being neglected by him ignoring that there is a problem, by looking at porn or just flat out not providing me with touch/oral/physical affection.

I'd do whatever it took to please and make my partner feel loved if there was a problem with me and I was unable to have intercourse, I'd expect no less from him.
 
#20 ·
I wanted to add,my boyfriend and i had an actual discussion about this one night.He teases me and says i just love him bc i love his penis. lol So then it went from there...we discussed what would happen if his equipment didn't work even w/meds,then we discussed what would happen if his hands didn't work,rofl i think we got all the way to "what if i had no tongue" before we were laughing too hard to finish the conversation.

:D
 
#22 ·
Obviously, things happen with age. And, as those things come up, we will adapt. Health problems, we have adapted. There is more to sex than just intercourse. If he was of the mind "I don't care what you feel" or "I have no desire to have sex in any for, ever again" with no discussion, no attempts to learn the reasons behind the statements, then, yes, I would be gone. But things happen. We get older. We get sick. We have equipment failures, etc. I would expect him to feel the same (regarding the "i don't care..." statements). My point is that the emotional connection to my husband is what makes the SEX special, not the other way around.
 
#25 ·
Chaos, I'm not trying to minimize the effects of ED, and it can be a symptom of something more serious but, in reality, is unlikely to be anything more serious than a flat tyre is on a car.

A visit to the doctor is your first port of call, OP.
 
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#26 ·
I have to be honest. I do not want, need or crave sex anymore ever. I know it's important for him & the relationship. I love him & care about him. But if he had to become non-sexual for a medical reason, I would be relieved.

Last night, I knew he wanted some sort of sexual interaction. We performed oral on each other & he was happy. It always smoothes things out when we have sex & makes him happy, which is why I rarely turn him down. I don't feel closer to him emotionally to be honest. But he feels loved & closer to me, so that's a good thing.

Physical touch is not my primary love language, but its his. I know this & try to do things to make him happy.
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#32 ·
It is very important to me.. I am a walking hormone.. What can I say. I could have sex more then once a day and have the big finish each and every time and still want sex the next day!

I love oral but (there is always a but, isn't there) I have never achieved an orgasm by oral.

I can not live with out sex!
 
#34 ·
Ladybird said: It is very important to me.. I am a walking hormone.. What can I say. I could have sex more then once a day and have the big finish each and every time and still want sex the next day!

I love oral but (there is always a but, isn't there) I have never achieved an orgasm by oral.

I can not live with out sex!
Firstyeardown said: I'd settle for that as a way to mix it up, but not in the long term.

I need to feel my husband inside me in order nurture our connection. Orgasms from penetration are ten times more powerful than clitoral orgasms for me.
I feel like both of these ladies here... I LOVE my orgasms and oral just doesn't "do it" for me.... I need to feel him inside...this is his ultimate as well, giving us that nirvana feeling of "oneness".......nothing turns me on more so.

I do thank God we live in the day of Viagra & "stiff nights" !

I've told my husband... if it stops working...if insurance didn't cover, we'd mortgage the house to get him a "pump" -cause yeah, it means THAT much.

I feel I would get very depressed if something happened to him & we couldn't have penetrative sex. It just means the earth, sky and the moon to me, brings me the greatest pleasure & Joy. I pray such a day never comes.

Women who can only orgasm through oral.. would have a much easier time with this... I'm just not one of those women.

I would look upon this as a very deep LOSS.... I would likely have to go through all of the stages of grief to come to terms with it.... I don't feel it would be easy by any means. He has also told me, he would be very very depressed if that happened also.

Thankfully they have books for couples who are in this situation to still have a vibrant & emotionally fullfilling sex life -without intercourse, here is one of them -written by 2 sex therapists.

Let Me Count the Ways: Discovering Great Sex Without Intercourse : Marty Klein, Riki Robbins: Books

In this book, two of America's leading sex and gender experts show readers how to make sex more enjoyable by breaking away from the repetitive mechanics of intercourse. The book describes a path toward more a varied, playful, and intimate sexuality, debunking myths such as "impotence," "frigidity," and "foreplay;" indeed, the book shatters the myth that intercourse equals sex itself.

"Let Me Count The Ways":

* defines "outercourse", shows why it is a valuable addition to peoples' sexual vocabulary, and explains how readers can maximize their comfort and pleasure with it.
* shows how individuals and couples can increase their body's erotic functioning, and increase sexual satisfaction;
* includes dozens of ideas and exercises--such as an "intercourse sabbatical"--which will help partners relax, take advantage of a wide range of enjoyable sexual activities, and communicate about their concerns; and
* discusses how to break free from sexual stereotypes of the media, medical profession, and psychological profession, and overcome the idea that intercourse is a "normal" and necessary part of every sexual encounter.

More than a self-help book, this is an innovative, practical, tested program that will change the way that readers look at their sexuality--forever.
 
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