06-30-2012, 12:08 AM
Join Date: Jun 2012
| | Communicating With Wife
So for as long as I can remember I have been interested in tying up women. I don't know where this comes from or why I like it so much, but I just always have. In fact it has become such a huge part of what I find attractive that bondage-free sex just doesn't quite compare. Don't get me wrong, I still like having sex the plain old fashioned way, it just isn't as good. Up until I got married about two years ago, this had never caused me any problems because all of my sexual partners had been at least somewhat receptive to the idea of being tied up and so I could get my fix every couple of months.
However, my wife is absolutely opposed to the idea of me tying her up and it is beginning to cause some strain in our physical relationship. It's not because I absolutely cannot control myself or anything like that, it's more like... whenever I try to take charge in bed at all she says that I'm too rough and that she doesn't want to sleep with me anymore.
Tonight for example, we had just spent the past two hours watching a movie and talking about how we were going to have sex afterwards, then after the movie was over we went upstairs and she teasingly asks if we're still going to have sex. I, of course, told her that we definitely were. Then she said that she decided she didn't want to. I assumed that she was joking by her tone and by the fact that we had been talking about it all night and so I gently pinned her arms at her side and said that not having sex was not an option, using the same joking tone she had used.
But then my wife got really mad and said forget it that I'm too forceful and that there was no way she wanted to have sex with me. Now we're in separate rooms and I'm struggling to understand what happened. I didn't hold her tight, I didn't hurt her for sure, I really feel like one thing was communicated to me and then another thing was delivered. I feel really confused. If anyone thinks that I really was too forceful I would definitely like to hear your thoughts. I DO like to be in control in the bedroom, but I know my wife hates it and so it's not something I usually even play around with.
I guess I feel that I'm being made to feel like a freak for my sexual preferences. She made it very clear that that was how she felt about the issue of me tying her up and so that never happened, I haven't done that in two years despite the fact that it is my one and only sexual preference. I can respect that people have differing views on what is acceptable in bed. But this? I feel like this is going too far. I love my wife so much, but our sexual relationship is miserable and just makes me feel like crap. Talking it out hasn't led anywhere productive. I just need some advice. Thanks.