GVSSNA

My husband and I's sex used to be great, but as of lately it has fallen apart. We never seem to be in the mood at the same time. When we finally are we have conflicting ideas on sex. Neither of us enjoy it at the same time. We had sex the other day that I found AMAZING, and he thought it was average, while another day we had sex and I was bored he thought it went great. We are both open with each other, and neither of us understand why the sex went from great to mediocre/terrible. He also is worried because when ever we are around each other he would rather cuddle or hang out than have sex, but when I'm not around he watches porn. (I am not against porn). He gets upset because he think he's not as attracted to me as he should be. I feel this is bleeding over into our love life; he becomes distraught with himself when I do not orgasm and blames himself, EVEN if it felt amazing to me otherwise. I cannot get him to understand that I am okay with him watching porn and that I can still enjoy myself even if I do not orgasm. Also, as of lately, I have not been finding myself as sexually attracted to him, and he his working out and getting into better shape than when we first were going together. (I am attracted to men who are more fit, so I don't understand why my sexual attraction has gone down.) How do we get our sex life back on track before our whole relationship derails?

Chris Taylor

Sounds like a lot of sexual pressure. Who's going to enjoy it the most this time?

Take step back and just agree that you are both going to get off one way or the other and take it from there.

SunnyT

Look into tantric sex. It's sexy and intimate, but not all about getting off. It's about touching, connecting, loving, etc.... and the O's are BONUS!

wiigirl

I did buy a tantric sex for dummies book...it gets deep and metaphysical real quick, but some of the techniques....mind blowing. :P