I am in a bad way here! I need some advice desperately so i'll try to run through any history or details as quickly as I can...
I'm 27, been engaged for just over a year, been seeing my girlfriend, now fiancé for around 9 years on & off - (like, off for a year or more at a time)
Weve lived together for almost 4 years and bought a flat together 3 years ago.
Over the last 3 years things havent been great - sex wise. Its been rare & when we do have sex its sometimes felt kind of awkward, like a first time fumble.
Now since we first met, weve been like animals with each other & it was the same when we got back together the last time & she moved in with me.
Weve had major fall outs every 6 months or so about this & I feel like I'm expecting too much and she promises to make an effort but it never happens. Basically I always initiate things and i get a lot of knock backs or just - uninterested looks. She's put on "some" weight over the last 3 years and I know it gets to her a lot & she is self conscious about it so whenever we try to talk about this she usually puts it down to that but last night....we were trying to get intimate and it just wasnt working, she sat up and told me that she thinks she's not sexually attrcted to me anymore. She wants to end things.
Ive been so upset but I was also really angry that she hasnt tried even talking to me about it first. I mean, just on saturday we went to see a wedding venue & nearly put down a £1000 deposit!!!??
She's now agreed (late last night) that she'll try to work through it or maybe go to counselling but i get the impression that its just delaying the inevitable. that she is only saying she'll try to save my feelings (somehow?)
I know there is no one else...we spend a lot of time together outside each other's work. One problem I feel isnt helping is the whole - home from work - comfies on, tv then bed
Also at weekends, i'm a night owl and usually sleep in where as she gets tired around 10pm and gets up early.
I dont know if there is anything else I can say...eh, we had a sort of role reversal when we lived in my flat, before buying a flat together, i dont recall entirely but i think I wasnt interested much in sex because I recently had quite serious surgery to remove a benign tumour behind my right ear (now have a huge scar behind my ear and down my neck)
I want so badly to work this out! we are great together and have so much fun and get on really well - we dont have many hobbies or anything in common but it still works. I dont want to lose her, and I dont want all the mess of this flat we own together. - i get the impression she sees me as more of a best friend now (she doesnt have too many friends herself)
Thanks for any advice everyone