Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Maybe she is SUPER sensitive on her clitoris and that makes her just want you inside her. That happens to me once in a while, although it's always after my clitoris has been manipulated in some way for a while.
well, the puzzle I want to focus on is not so much the presence of vaginal orgasms but the complete lack of response to clitoral stimulation (I have had 20 years to try variations of technique too and a string of lovers before that that responded fine).
So in all your past experience, have all of your lovers liked exactly the same thing when it comes to say....stimulating their breasts/nipples? Or did some like things one way and others like something different, or some not care much at all about breast play? Or react the same way to having their ears played with?
We're all different and it has absolutely nothing to do with your skills, ability or endurance. It's just how we're wired.
I have read that 75% of women orgasm through the clitoris only, but as others have said, the only thing that matters is what your wife likes.
Does she masturbate? If so, are her orgasms always vaginal?
See I read the same thing.
My ex-wife did not masturbate (religion) and had orgasm first by pentration and then only much later by oral.
My current wife apparently does not masturbate at least not anymore (another thing that bugs me). Once, a long time ago, we watched a porn video together and she followed my lead and rubbed herself while watching. It seemed like at one point she rolled over on her side and closed her eyes to finish it up but it also seemed like she was mainly pushing fingers into herself.
I can't give a lot of answers because she doesn't like talking about it (or "analyzing" it as she puts it).
She likes sex but not talking about it --especially while or after it is going on.
Someone's got to say it: are you 100% sure she's getting off, and not just giving you an "Ooh, ahh, give it to me, big boy" according to a standard formula in order to get YOU off and stop bothering her?
See! Something about this makes people doubt!
Me too but I think it is this sexologist dogma getting me.
But......
I don't know how to be 100% sure but here are some things I consider:
1) She makes a very personal unique odd noise that doesn't sound like anything she would have heard on a movie or TV. So it doesn't seem like she is trying to sound a certain way. She isn't imitating anything.
2) Sometimes she doesn't cum (once in about every 20 times) and has no problem admitting it. She says she didn't quite make it but it still felt good.
3) If you are going to fake it, why not fake it for oral too? She knows I want that to work too.
4) She knows that I want her to have multiple orgasms but she never has more than two well separated ones. Usually, she says it only happened once but she gets close when i try for number two. If you are going to fake it, then why not make up the second orgasm too?
On the other hand, if she had never really had an orgasm at all, then how would she know the difference between almost having one and having one? What would be the criterion for saying (on those rare occasions) that she didn't have one?
5) She isn't a good liar and tend to not say things just to please me. She is more into the "this is the way I am, like it or leave it buddy" type thing.
6) The suggestion that after all these years she has been faking it and I still don't know makes her really annoyed (not sure what this proves but is it true).
See! Something about this makes people doubt!
Me too but I think it is this sexologist dogma getting me.
But......
I don't know how to be 100% sure but here are some things I consider:
1) She makes a very personal unique odd noise that doesn't sound like anything she would have heard on a movie or TV. So it doesn't seem like she is trying to sound a certain way. She isn't imitating anything.
2) Sometimes she doesn't cum (once in about every 20 times) and has no problem admitting it. She says she didn't quite make it but it still felt good.
3) If you are going to fake it, why not fake it for oral too? She knows I want that to work too.
4) She knows that I want her to have multiple orgasms but she never has more than two well separated ones. Usually, she says it only happened once but she gets close when i try for number two. If you are going to fake it, then why not make up the second orgasm too?
On the other hand, if she had never really had an orgasm at all, then how would she know the difference between almost having one and having one? What would be the criterion for saying (on those rare occasions) that she didn't have one?
5) She isn't a good liar and tend to not say things just to please me. She is more into the "this is the way I am, like it or leave it buddy" type thing.
6) The suggestion that after all these years she has been faking it and I still don't know makes her really annoyed (not sure what this proves but is it true).
[QUOTE=MarcoPolo;884120] But I can't get my wife to respond to oral sex or any other kind of clitoral stimulation. Now, I have been with a lot of women and I don't think it is a problem with my methods (oral worked fine with my ex-wife). She also doesn't seem to want to use her own hands.
Basically, she just wants penetration and it pretty much has to be doggy style. Works every time the same way, same duration and with roughly the same reaction and noise.
If she wont respond to oral or and other kind of clitoral stimulation, how does she get lubricated? That just doesn't make any sense. She has to get worked up before you are able to penetrate her. Hopefully, she allows other positions besides from behind or the so called "doggy style". If her idea of sex is to get on all fours and have you just shove it in her then you have a right to complain. But somehow I got to believe that there has to be some foreplay involved with getting her ready. If she lets you try other positions and she likes to finish on all fours then let her have it her way.
I kind of agree that you are making a mountain out of a mole hill.
I have read that 75% of women orgasm through the clitoris only
It's these kind of so-called statistics that have MarcoPolo so perplexed in the first place. The numbers are wrong (in terms of being misleading rather than non-factual) because at least 80% of that 75% of women don't know that they CAN have vaginal orgasms. Research results like this don't explore or experiment. They simply gather information, which is misleading to those who don't know the right questions to ask.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sawney Beane
Someone's got to say it: are you 100% sure she's getting off, and not just giving you an "Ooh, ahh, give it to me, big boy" according to a standard formula in order to get YOU off and stop bothering her?
In addition to MarcoPolo's response to this question, I want to add that I dismissed it outright due to his description that she always wants the same position. That tells me that position is what works best for her whereas, if she were faking it, she'd fake any position at all to get him to the finish line and stop bothering her. Just my own personal assurance on his behalf that she's not faking.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarcoPolo
well, she doesn't really deny that it exists. It just feels that way to me sometimes. To be honest, there may have been a couple times when she seemed to feel it, but it just made her anxious for the penetration to start.
I think this is the key right here to finding a possible answer for you, MarcoPolo. I think your wife is extremely sensitive. Some women are. If it helps to imagine a comparison, men who are not circumsised are much more sensitive than those who are. For men though, that CAN mean the feeling during sex is that much more intense and therefore, that much more pleasurable. For women, however, extreme sensitivity is way TOO intense to the point of being unbearable........to the point of annoying. It still feels good but is not to be borne.
Since you keep comparing your wife to previous lovers, then another example is a woman who utterly enjoys oral to the point of orgasm with a man, such as yourself, who cannot pleasure his wife in that same manner. I had a boyfriend once who really liked going down, but I really hated when he did. This was my early years, so I didn't know any better. I didn't know he was doing it wrong, and I didn't know to teach him to do it any differently. I just thought it was a part of love making, so I endured it as long as I could until I had to stop him. The problem was that he concentrated entirely on my clitoris, and he flicked it with his tongue quite a lot. Geez, that was annoying because a woman's clit is too sensitive to bear stimulation in such concentrations.
It still serves the purpose of stimulating a woman sexually. Therefore, your wife that much more wants what she knows will bring her utmost and enduring pleasure that is capable of taking her to the finish line. Yet another example is, I read here a few weeks ago a man saying his wife orgasms within 2-3 minutes of penetration. He also stated that after she cums, she can't take him any more, so he has to withdraw, which basically leaves him out in the cold. That woman is even more sensitive than your wife.
Remember how your previous lovers would abruptly push your head away after oral orgasm? That's because the clit becomes uber (a word to describe extreme sensitivity that is more than extreme) sensitive then. And that's the way that guy's wife is immediately following her vaginal orgasms. She is so very sensitive that she cums quickly but then can't stand to be touched afterward. If I recall correctly, that guy stated his wife didn't like oral, like your wife doesn't like oral. Being so extremely sensitive, they cannot bear the intensity of clitoral stimulation in much the same way I described the feeling from my previous lover and much the same way a woman's clit cannot be touched immediately after oral orgasm.
It doesn't appear your wife is quite AS sensitive as that guy's wife, in that you don't say she pushes you away immediately after orgasm. It just means she does not fall within the 80% of that statistical 75% of women who do not have vaginal orgasms. To explain why there are so many women who don't know they can have vaginal orgasms would take an altogether different novel than the one I've already written here, but I will say that at least one of the reasons is that some women are not as sensitive as others. As has already been mentioned, not all women are the same. Some might say that not all women are as lucky as your wife. I, personally, enjoy both orgasms and am very happy I discovered I am capable of both.
I hope I helped you to understand your wife a little better although I fear that despite my effort, I still couldn't explain it well enough.
1) I never said it was necessarily a problem. Since I found this site and I was curious about it, I thought I would ask.
2) She isn't reading this site and I although I have asked about this once or twice before, I have also been with her 20 years so it isn't like I am bringing it up all the time and making a big deal.
MarcoPolo, did you get the message from my post that your wife's high sensitivity is the reason she doesn't like oral? I made that correlation in effort to explain it down to that being the reason, but I realize I didn't specifically state it.
MarcoPolo, did you get the message from my post that your wife's high sensitivity is the reason she doesn't like oral? I made that correlation in effort to explain it down to that being the reason, but I realize I didn't specifically state it.
I got it and I have wondered about it but then most of the time if I do oral she just doesn't respond at all.
An interesting fact is that she was more into me stimulating her using my hand once when she was drunk.
(For those having read my other thread about my wife being drunk; The cancun trip before this recent one she also got a bit drunk one day but that time she was super excited about me and we had the best sex ever. That time she wanted me to use my hands down there--unusual for her. She also remembered it that time.
I think those sort of theories were thrown out some time ago. Scientists suddenly 'discovered' what women have (no doubt) always known - vaginal orgasms exist!
Your wife probably prefers the position she does because it affords better stimulation of her G-spot. You might like the idea of clitoral, but it's probably best to go with what works for her...
Well I prefer the 'no vaginal orgasm' thory to the 'clitoral orgasms are immature' Freudian nonsense.
Anyway, I don't have vaginal orgasms, I don't have a G spot. I do always orgasm from penetration though, as my husband has developed a technique where he positions himself so that my clitoris is stimulated with each thrust.
Your wife does sound unusual, but as long as she's enjoying it and you're enjoying it, happy times! Posted via Mobile Device
There is nothing wrong with your wife. Oral sex for me is nice but I am part of the lucky few that come easily from penetration. I think its great being able reach a proper climax same time as my man. Those that say g spot is a myth are so wrong, so so wrong. All women are different. Enjoy your woman! Posted via Mobile Device
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Re: how some sexolgists messed me up 
