Ms.Mya

What is it with me? I can't seem to climax unless I use a vibrator. Is that normal? I am 39 and have only been with 2 men in my life (my ex-fiancee and husband). I don't know why... I enjoy sex and will try just about anything but can't climax. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?

J.R.Jefferis

I would say this is less your fault and more that of the man trying to please you. If you can climax with a vibrator then clearly nothing is wrong with you from a physical point of view. You should try to talk to your man and help him improve in bed...more extended foreplay in always a good idea.

JR

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Ano

I just posted something similar!!

Dependent on a Vibrator

Ms.Mya

@Ano... I know. I read your dilemma too. I don't understand why I have this need for the vibrator. I have tried..and tried.. to do without vibrators for long periods of time... and no climax at all. Can't do it. Now I can masturbate myself and reach it.. but my husband can't do for me.

chillymorn

dose your husband masterbate you with the same way as when you do it alone?

if not show/tell him what you like.

Ms.Mya

Yeah he has watched me and tried.. but still no go. I think there's more to the problem though.. this is horrible to say but I'm not physically attracted to him. Maybe that's the problem. He's gained a bunch of weight and even though I want sex badly.. i just do it. I dunno what to do.

chillymorn

ouch!

how much is a bunch of weight?

Ms.Mya

Like 90 pounds.... puts a damper on things...

PBear

Sex is a very mental thing for men and women. You may have to tactfully discuss this with him.

C
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sisters359

Were you able to orgasm with him before he weighed this much? Were you ever physically attracted to him? Do you have kids?

Ms.Mya

I have never been able to have an orgasm with him... but then again I've never been physically attracted to him. Now my ex-fiancee, I was extremely attracted to but still didn't climax with him either.

And yes... I have 3 kids by my husband.

Ano

Doing a good amount of research, I have learned that not all women can orgasm by penetration and strictly by clitoral stimulation only.

Maybe this is the case?

Have you ever been able to orgasm by a man?

OneLoveXo

I would recommend doing kettle exercises, and drop the vibrator for a while. I used to never orgasm (except with a rabbit), but since my bf started stimulating me more it's slowly coming back, at first it was very weak but its slowly getting better. If I was doing it more often ity would have probably progressed faster.

Have you ever spend enough time learning your own body? I try to masturbate once in a while, and figure what I like, than I teach it to my bf, he is getting A LOT better with it. Get to know your body and what you like, take sometime for some self love without vibrator. It will take time but you have to be patient and do those kettle exercises!

badbane

Google clitoral over stimulation. I mean how can a man compete with a 300 rpm vibrator. It isn't possible. Put the vibrators down. Use them after your clitoris doesn't need an atomic bomb to set it off.

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YinPrincess

I'm somewhat ashamed to admit that I have the same problem, even though I've never used a vibrator in my life. I think it's mental.

Do you have a history of abuse?

I don't think the weight issue is helping much at all... Have you talked with your husband about this??
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