Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
My wife really enjoys anal (I do also obviously)but it has some effects on her that prevent us from doing it more often. Just for the record I am not huge, just under average size and probably about avreage girth. I prepare her with finger penetration and lots of lube but she still has some after effects. The day after she has some accidents on the BM side that she finds really disagreeable. Has anyone else had this same experience and if so is there a method or practice that will help us overcome it?
maybe more info would help is it just liquid farts or actual fecal matter maybe its just some extra lube from the night before causing some wet fart type thing .
Has she had problems with prolapsing? I hear this is common after repeated damage to the area... She may need to see a doc about finding a remedy for this issue... Posted via Mobile Device
I don't know, but i think if you're doing something and it has a side effect like fecal incontinence, you should probably stop doing it.
She does have another equally effective hole that you guys could use. And it gives her the added benefit of being able to retain her feces until it appropriate to eliminate.
From what I heard even from "actress's", that anal can't happen all the time it screws them up and in there private life they do anal on special occasions. most of the anal seens are shot on one day and it will be a month be for the next one
I actually registered just so I could answer this question lol
My bf and I have recently begun doing anal and I love it. I mean, I cum like crazy, I really love it. Neither of us had done it before so I did some reading after the first time. Oh, I should add that he is quite big / well endowed, I can barely put my fingers all the way around. And I am small, only 100lbs.
Make sure she goes to the bathroom first, if she normally has difficulty pooing (some girls do! The poo is too big and it hurts) she should probably increase her fiber, like a lot, just for the sake of making anal easier on her. So, assuming she's gone poo that day:
It's actually the sphincter that you need to worry about the most, it has a reflex to get tight to hold stuff in. You need to rub it a lot, without penetrating at all (even with a finger) to get it to loosen up. When it is loose, assuming you have a ton of lube, you'll be able to slide in with little problems.
The "accidents" the day after could be either because she is injured (tears, bleeding, swollen) which making sure she is loose first will help or it could be the addition of your cum and the lube mixing together with whatever is inside and then dripping out because it is liquid. I have reduced this by us only doing it at night so that it has time to settle before I'm up and walking around. It's like with a girl's period. She could start in the middle of the night and not leak out because she's stationary but when she is out during the day it comes out. So with the extra fluid from anal sex, if you do it at night only and then in the morning she just sits on the toilet in a relaxed fashion most of it will come out. After that she can use a panty liner but it's been fine for me.
Last but not least when you are actually having sex stay inside as deep as you can, don't let the head of your penis come out. With vaginal sex usually the rib/edge of the head is super hot to feel coming in and out but with anal sex you are making the sphincter contract and expand over and over and this is what hurts me. If my boyfriend stays in then the sphincter is relaxed/expanded and doesn't try to tighten up (therefore less tearing as it the penis stretches it out again on the in-thrust).
I am above average length, but average width. I dig deep and still do not have this issue at all.
You width may just be huge? Or your wife may have a weak sphincter. I am sorry to hear that. To be totally honest, if I keep analing her, she will stay somewhat loose. I love it. If I quit for a week, she is tighter than I ever felt her. I don't know, but it's like that hole gets SUPER strong each time it fully heals. It's almost painful.
The problems she's having now are nothing compared to what she'll have when she's older. If the sphincter muscles are continually put under 'stress,' incontinence of faeces is an almost certainty in later life.
Its a muscle-lined body cavity just like the vagina, the big difference is it cannot create its own lubricant and that it takes longer to adapt/relax. So the keys are ample lube and go SLOW! Both intended to prevent abrasion/tears. As long as you are not huge and exceeding her "modulus of elasticity" down there, the muscles will return to normal tone.
Anal sex can be done safely, just have to do it right and if it hurts her at all STOP and take more time. Her incontinence may not be from the activity at all as people have that condition without ever having had anal. Child birth alone can be a risk factor as can age or poor pelvic muscle tone (variety of causes).
The OH has only ever indulged once and decided it wasn't for her, but previous relationships I was rather spoilt with anal. Always start with one finger and a little lube. Go very slow but move around as much as possible to really begin to ease it. When it begins to feels a touch loser, try with two fingers. Go very slow as the girl must stay relaxed otherwise you are going to get nowhere. I always gave clitoral stimulation during the process which helped with the relaxing with the whole thing. I would spend about 15 minutes just using my fingers before unleashing the trouser steak. Preparation is key as they say... Posted via Mobile Device
My wife really enjoys anal (I do also obviously)but it has some effects on her that prevent us from doing it more often. Just for the record I am not huge, just under average size and probably about avreage girth. I prepare her with finger penetration and lots of lube but she still has some after effects. The day after she has some accidents on the BM side that she finds really disagreeable. Has anyone else had this same experience and if so is there a method or practice that will help us overcome it?
Hi my3sons ~
I don't really have any advice for how to help this - other than to say that she should listen to her body.
If she has problems, and continues to have problems, then it may be that it is something that you just cannot indulge in as often as you would like since the anus is not really constructed for 'entry' in the same way the vagina is (someone mentioned the mouth above too, but the mouth is actually constructed for 'entry').
what goes in must come out. including lube and semen.
also keep in mind that being in shape in that area (perineum) is very helpful to keeping the valves working properly (all of them ... vaginal, anal, urethra.) kegels and just generally being in good shape
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