Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses!
Enchantment, he just had his annual physical and besides having to lose weight (doc says 30 lbs) -everything else checked out ok. He didn't have his testosterone levels checked.
He did ask the doc for viagra but he was denied. Doc said to lose the weight and he wouldn't need the viagra.
Toffer - I am going to ask hubs to have his levels checked. I assume its a blood test - right?
Mavash - thank you for throwing it back in my corner.
I have been trying to be accommodating to him through this whole thing.
With the addiction/using - I saw him through all of it and encouraged him. He is now 5 years clean and sober.
With the depression, I stay gainfully employed to provide the insurance to give him access to the best doctors to treat him. I also encourage him here, too.
With the weight gain - I gained weight too
so we are working together to get the weight off.
The couch surfing that he does, for the most part I allow since he works outside (contractor) and in this heat, I wouldn't expect him to have much energy during the week to perform. So I let it slide.
Right now I'm thinking of writing him a letter and just giving him my feelings and asking HIM to show me that he is dedicated to the relationship. I want HIM to go make the appointment with his doctor. I want HIM to make the appointment with the therapist.
If he shows me that little bit that he wants to help make it work- then we have a chance.
We were in counseling back when he was using and he was a very active participant. We had a wonderful therapist who saved our marriage. I have no doubt that he will want to go again.
Keeper - I hope and pray he wants to make it work. I am a relatively easy keep. I just desire and crave the physical part of marriage.... I want him to be the same.