Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
my DH was totally opposed to any stimulation of himself right up until he decided he really wanted to try Anal Sex (on me) and the deal was struck: Yes we can do it but it's gonna be you first. :-D
Famous last words, We drank a bottle of wine, had a nice back rub with massage oil after a long hot shower (much discussion about how and what etc took place so we all had the game plan) and then we gave it whirl. And wouldn't you know it, he came like a freight train. I mean like yelling and shooting and shaking ... and, well, you get the picture.
There just was no denying it after that. LOL since then we have been experimenting and we have discovered lo and behold we both dig the a@@ action (giving and receiving and vice versa.) Who knew?? New tricks after 15 years. The fun never ends I guess.
LOL! Omg this had me laughing. I might try the bottle of wine trick. Too bad I already let him do it to me....the whole "why buy the cow" thing. Dang. Posted via Mobile Device
The initial foray was all filed under the name of "so that you have sympathy for me when you try it with your unit..."
There was also: "see? my tiny female index finger? let's compare it to your unit, shall we? hmmmm! much smaller ... let's call my forefinger the starter kit!!" I even compared my forefinger to his forefinger and also showed him the untrimmed nail that was really not going to work. that was a good long conversation in the shower. LOL I love date night.
So guys - how did you end up getting the nerve to try it? Did you ever have hang ups about it and got over them? Did you come up with the idea or did your partner? Are there any guys on this board who share my H's sentiment of no way, no how?
I tried it first as a teenager. I have always been interested in human sexuality, the inner workings, the various ways people enjoy having sex. I'd read about the male g-spot, and figured there had to be something to it as millions of gay men the world over seemed to enjoy anal stimulation. I then started to read more and more about how straight men were opening up about exploring the "exit only" zone. So I just started exploring my own body, trying to find this g-spot people whisper about, to see what the big deal was.
I did it off and on for years, but it didn't become a real part of my sex or masturbatory life. I did hit the spot a few times, and it does increase orgasm for me sometimes. In fact about twice I was able to orgasm without masturbating my penis.
But I just found the work it took not worth the effort after awhile, so it petered out over time. My wife has given me a couple rim jobs, and slipped a finger in while giving a BJ, and it felt great. She did it on her own accord, I never had to ask her to. She hasn't done it in a good long while, and I haven't missed it. I know that if a time comes up again that I really crave some anal stimulation, I'm with an open, willing partner who would be right there with me, providing pleasure and advancing exploration.
The biggest thing actually is that SHE discovered a love for anal stimulation over the last year and a half or so. That was a huge surprise for the both of us, just how much she now loves that sensation and how great it is for getting her off.
My wife surprised me one evening .She was stroking me with baby oil, and getting me very hot .The next thing I knew she had a very slippery finger pleasing my butt cheeks! Men have a "p" spot...woman have a "g" spot...we both love the experience. We have since added "toys" WE love the spice it has added to our intimate evenings!
My motto, "Stop feeling bad about feeling good," may apply in this case. Prostate massage is something I would not suggest - unless a patient asked about it. Many of the cases cited here have a pattern of her coaxing him until he gives in --and then he loves it. The plastic glove is a good idea. And, definitely -- lady please clip your nails! -- Roger G. Boschman, Sex Therapist.
My h is the opposite...the first couple times i did bj, he asked me to lick there. I was horrified. I think I did it reluctantly without any enthusiasm and it's just a cleanliness issue.
Now, I totally want to do it to him, so my plan is to drag him into the shower, since man (well, at least mine) is not as meticulous as woman, and gently wash him good. Then I can attack him with oral and my new toy, a nifty plug. I did do finger before and he seemed to like it. The plug is slightly bigger than my tiny finger (size 3 ring) and I want to see how it goes.
I am still not sure if my H will ever be willing to try it. He is quite freaked about the cleanliness issue and is terrified that I might get poo on me ...I think its an embarrassment thing.
I am just gently trying new things with him and seeing where he draws the line. If he pulls away or asks me to stop I am always going to respect his wishes.
I thought about going for it yesterday. We were making out and I was caressing him all over his back, legs and thighs while doing it, and he wasn't shy about letting me gently slide my hands around that area during that time. I started giving him a BJ and slid down to lick his balls/perineum and he enjoyed that...maybe a little too much. My plan was to get him well lubed down there for some finger play while I gave him a BJ, but all I ever got to do was rub a couple lubed fingers around his perineum and he went from 0-60 and came right away. Lol. So I think my timing was a bit off, I thought I was just teasing him but he couldn't hold back long enough for me to go further.
The encouraging thing - he didn't swat my hands away or ask me to stop at any time and he was completely sober, so he was able to at least relax enough with me to trust that I wouldn't hurt him. Posted via Mobile Device
My SO didn't seem to like it. I wonder if it's because he has had a prostate infection. And I think large prostates run in his family. Posted via Mobile Device
all I ever got to do was rub a couple lubed fingers around his perineum and he went from 0-60 and came right away. Lol. So I think my timing was a bit off, I thought I was just teasing him but he couldn't hold back long enough for me to go further.
The perenium is rich in nerve endings and can feel exquisite when it's stroked. The prostate can be massaged from the outside through the perenium too, so you may have been doing that at the same time. Combined with what sounds like a phenominal BJ you pushed the right buttons all around, I'd say. Good job
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I want to be inside your heart. Are you ready? I want to love forever! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I want to know you're with me. I am waiting.
What's the big deal. Eventually you're going to get to the point in your life where you have no shame and you wake up on general rounds as a supervisor yanks off the sheet so that 8 tiny Filipino women interns get first hand experience with a Foley catheter or some kind fiber optic tool used to cut polyps off your colon. After than anyone in the room who HASN'T shoved something into my penis or rectum is the exception. Feel free, it's a party down there.
Yesterday I attempted to stroke his balls/perineum while doing doggy. I tried to reach up underneath myself ans touch him while he was doing the thrusting.
First of all, I felt something protruding in that area...a hard lump like a pea? It was very pronounced. Is that the prostate? I did not feel this during his BJ, when he was laying on his back. I stroked it gently and he didn't like it this time, said it was almost painful or uncomfortable? He didn't lose his erection but it set him back a bit. So it was a distraction instead of being pleasurable.
Now I am confused. He seemed to love it during BJ, but during sex it didn't get good reviews. Did I do something wrong? Posted via Mobile Device
Ummm that was NOT the prostate. The prostate is wall nut shaped/sized unless inflamed (it hurts like a B trust me). Anything on a man that is pea shaped in that area needs to be seen by a physician.
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