mattcook

anywhere from age 8 to 15 or so.

Starts with masturbation discovery, usually starts fantasy to a girl at school or a memory of a sexy picture. Often then moves to masturbation to soft porn. Sometimes it doesn't graduate from there. Sometimes it escalates for guys. Normal masturbation habits aren't a big issue. But forgoing masturbation has huge benefits that most men don't realize because it's hard to stop. However, it is easy to stop if you build in a lot of bonding, cuddling and snuggling.

DrNo

You're right - to each their own. I'm not here to preach. I'm sure a lot of factors come into play. I still do masturbate. It's just much more controlled : ) and that would be interesting to hear how long you husband has gone. Get back to us would ya?
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Hope1964

Sure thing Although he's a sex addict so you aren't going to get a typical answer. His whole sex life before he met me was atypical I think.

__________________
Curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want ~ Spock
FOR CWI NEWBIES
~My story~
Understanding the Pain - required reading for WS's
Help for sex addicts and their spouse

that_girl

Oh this is only about masturbation and not orgasm?

My husband doesn't masturbate. He said he never has and finds it boring and stupid when he could just come to me...I was skeptical of this at first (because all the guys I knew did it) but he laughed and said he never did it! He tried at about 14, but said he got bored and worked on the car. I know people don't believe me, but...I trust my husband on that. He knows i do, so why would he lie that he does. He wouldn't.

DrNo

Oh. He's a "sex addict" lol. I was too. My wife cured me.would you say he also has an ADD type personality? Drinks a lot of coffee? Bets on sports?
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Hope1964

That's bizzarre tg!!

My husband, when he was single and after I kicked him out, masturbated every two days. He had a schedule heehee. The only time he's masturbated during our relationship was when he was cheating. And even then it wasn't very often because we still had sex fairly often. He says there's no need when he's gettin' it regularly.

"would you say he also has an ADD type personality? Drinks a lot of coffee? Bets on sports?" Nope. None of the above.

__________________
Curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want ~ Spock
FOR CWI NEWBIES
~My story~
Understanding the Pain - required reading for WS's
Help for sex addicts and their spouse

DrNo

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DrNo

I was just curious if sex addicts had common traits. Must just be me lol.
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Havesomethingtosay

Don't know where this thread is going, but every time the OP posts I want to scream Troll and am amazed that anyone still engages him.....

anony2

Sorry to burst your bubble but people have been doing this for hundreds if not thousands of years. It is mostly practiced by people who are called 'Gnostics'. It helps if one does their research before calling people trolls.

WELCOME TO UNIVERSAL GNOSIS

mattcook

I was interviewed on ABC News about this.

abcnews.go.com/Health/karezza-lovemaking-orgasm-strengthens-marriages-advocates/story?id=16743124

WillK

All right chief. Let me ask this question. I have somewhere to go with this, but I'd like to know first. Have you read either "No more Mr. Nice Guy" or "Married Man's Sex Life Primer"

__________________
The thread linked below is about as close as I get to my story, it has my posts about the point where I turned my marriage around and on the day my wife was planning to move out, instead we started a new beginning. I've been keeping my updates in this thead as well:
http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general...-sex-life.html

that_girl

I just asked for the science on how orgasms make couple retract from each other. Mattcook said that in another thread.

Maybe I missed the reply? I'd love to see the studies on that.

__________________

mattcook

Marnia Robinson wrote Cupid's Poisoned Arrow that explains it quite well. There is no science community funding or support for anything perceived to be negative about sex in any way.

You have to do your own study. It's pretty easy to do if you aren't having many orgasms. If you are, then you will never see the difference.

I've kept a journal of modes and sex with me and my partner over the past months and seen it pretty clearly.

There is a two week cycle for many people and it can be pretty severe and people don't realize it because they see it as faults and problems with their partner.

The reason for this, is that nature wants women to make babies and men to spread their sperm around. Nature isn't designed to make us happy.

There are two basic ways of being in love, one powered by hormones having to do with the mating drive, including orgasms, and the other having to do with the bonding drive.

The bonding drive love is eternal, deep, full of the strongest feelings imaginable.

The mating drive love fizzles out after six months to two years in a new relationship. It is built around want, and wanting more, wanting different, want want want. It is never satisfied.

Healthy relationships of course have an element of wanting each other, but post-orgasm there are many hormones that are intended to drive us to other partners and to other people.

That's what makes all this so interesting. People never see this because they're so used to it. They've been having orgasms since adolescence and never been able to notice the effects over the longer term.

mattcook

Read Married Man's Sex Primer. Didn't read No More Mr. Nice Guy although I'm familiar with the thesis of it.