Eyes wide open orgasm.
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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Eyes wide open orgasm.

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 04-24-2009, 09:43 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Eyes wide open orgasm.

Hello I am new here and have been reading all the great post on here. I have been to another site and this one seems much more friendly. I read a great book called the passionate marriage and highly recommend it.

In the book they talk about how during orgasm almost all of us shut our eyes because the feeling is so great that it is very hard not to break the connection at that point and just concentrate on the feeling. The author challenges us to experience a eyes wide open orgasm to now close your eyes at that special moment but to lood deep into your partners eyes as your cumming. So being up for a challenge I gave it a try. First it is not easy. I didnt really know that the closer you got to the goal that my eyes closed. Well I kept them open and looking deep into my wifes eyes.

Wow talk about taking the connection up to a whole new level. It was a very cool experience. I dont do it all the time now but when you feeling really connected to your husband keep your eyes locked on him as you go over the edge and afterwards. I think you will see what a special experience it is.

If you want to try something new thats not kinky. Nothing wrong with kinky but this is something I discovered I thought I would share. Give it a try.

I hope you all dont mind if I hang out and share it seems like a fun board. I have been married 23 years and have 3 kids. My marriage has made me grow so much as a person and I am learning that something I read is true for me. God may have invented marriages not so much to make us happy but maybe to make us grow in ourselves. It me me go hmmmmmmmm,

God bless everyone!
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Old 04-24-2009, 02:50 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

With a previous GF, we did keep our eyes open. It was a truly amazing experience every time we'd orgasm. My last GF tends to close her eyes.
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Old 04-25-2009, 07:53 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

I leave my eyes open. Have asked my wife to open hers.. she's a bit apprehensive.. more reserved.. takes some gentle nudging and compassion for her to come out of the shell with anything new..

for me the open eyes orgasm is very exciting. I love seeing her that way.. hoping she'll open hers a time or two so we can connect on a different level.

thanks for sharing
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Old 04-29-2009, 02:42 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

Closing the eyes is not necessarily out of apprehension or being reserved. It's can also mean a complete letting go at that moment, feeling safe to enter into your full erotic experience knowing your partner is right there and secure in the connection enough to know you are still connected to them. Hope that made sense. Though, if folks try to do it while maintain eye contact, that has it's own wonderful meaning as well.

Just hope no one gets the impression that one is "better" than the other.
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Old 05-01-2009, 03:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

From an interview of the author of the passionate marriage.

Connection
Q. In Passionate Marriage you discuss at length what you call "tools for connection." What are these "tools" and why are they important to couples?

A. Amazing as it seems, many couples are not in emotional contact while they are having physical contact. They may both reach orgasm but they are emotionally isolated. I have developed a number of "tools for connection." New ways to establish deep emotional connection in and out of bed. I encourage couples to forget about technique, and "follow the connection" during sex to know what to do next. We also suggest hugging 'til relaxed, eyes open sex, and even eyes open orgasm.

Q. What is eyes-open sex and eyes-open orgasm? And why are these important?

A. In informal surveys I've conducted around the world, it seems that only about 15-30% of all couples have sex with their eyes open, and only about half that number can orgasm that way. This means that most people have to shut their eyes to "tune out" their partner in order to be able to orgasm. Many people like sex in the dark with eyes closed because it's a way of keeping intimacy during sex to a tolerable level, not because it's more romantic. The intimacy and passion many couples seek is hiding right under -- or actually right above -- their noses.
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Old 05-01-2009, 11:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

This is a common element in Tantric practice. The idea being that you remain connected with your partner and thus sharing the spiritual experience more then if you had closed your eyes and closed off. The semen retention idea that has been mentioned on this forum is also found in Tantra. (I'm no expert but I've read abit on it)
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Old 05-02-2009, 11:14 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

Im confused & analize too much but what I take away from the Interviewer quotes posted ... is that If someone leaves the lights off & eyes mostly closed. There not wanting to emotionally connect there tuning there partner out?
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Old 05-02-2009, 06:19 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

Quote:
This means that most people have to shut their eyes to "tune out" their partner in order to be able to orgasm. Many people like sex in the dark with eyes closed because it's a way of keeping intimacy during sex to a tolerable level, not because it's more romantic
I just don't think the eye-closing is about "tuning out" the partner (not in most cases). Often the eye closing is a moment of total giving in to the partner and the pleasure they are providing and becoming completely tactile at that moment. Why is the "visual" presented as a more superior form of connection than the "tactile"? Why is going into that tactile connection being interpreted as avoidance?

Sometimes "eyes-wide open" means a partner that's glaring at you thinking "hurry the heck up" LOL.

More seriously, the connection has to do with what each partner is feeling and experiencing at the time (and sharing). Which senses they use to experience that connection is very individual, so making judgments about which sense (visual vs. tactile vs. auditory) provides the "real" connection seems short-sighted to me.
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Old 05-14-2009, 12:36 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

last night my wife and i for the first time in our 8 year marriage, had orgasms at the same time....my god it was awsome. you definately feel a connection then.
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Old 05-15-2009, 07:49 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

Oh yes that is awsome! Did you hold the eye contact as you both went over the edge? Thats hot stuff right there!
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Old 12-29-2009, 03:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

My wife can't concentrate on the feeling of her orgasm if she opens her eyes but she loves to look into my eyes when I orgasm.
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Old 12-29-2009, 05:37 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

It's interesting. I really like looking into his eyes when he is cumming, but I'm not sure if I have ever consciously kept my eyes open when I am getting there. Neat idea!
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Old 01-03-2010, 10:40 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

Just before we split up, I did this with my wife when I came inside her - first time in over a year. I looked into her eyes and it was fantastic. I only remembered to do it half way through my orgasm, but it was still very powerful - I got very very high. Then I think we both started laughing, it was such a feeling of lightness.

I'm glad I got to experience this. It was a friend who had been telling me to try this for years. I must remember to thank him. Half way through cumming I said "quick - look at me"... Cool ha?
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Old 01-04-2010, 02:04 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

"eyes wide open" in general.
I somehow learned this on my own some time ago and even simply passionate kissing is WAY more intimate. The connection is enhanced BIG time when your eye are deeply fixed on the other. Don't actually remember if I have actually maintained that during orgasm (depends on what position yer in i guess) but certainly the kissing and while making love... the eye connection is awesome for me!!
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Old 01-04-2010, 02:18 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: Eyes wide open orgasm.

Try it.... look DEEP into them... Its totally like your looking inside the other. (which is what im trying to do) read everything, yet at the same time, tell everything.
you know?
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