Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Very simple. Should have thought of it years ago. Divorce. I'm 40 years old and would honestly rather be alone than be with someone that never wants to have sex with me and won't give me affection of any kind. I spent years listening to how I'm fat, stupid, ugly, a *****, etc I'm sure no man is interested in me but I don't even care anymore. This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I've lurked on here a long time but this is only my 2nd post. It doesn't get any better. Funny thing is he's always accusing me of cheating on him (which I never did) but really who could blame me if I had??
I suspect you're going to be surprised at how many men are interested in a loyal 40 year old with a good sex drive. Regardless of the other issues. And while i don't know about the fat or ugly I can say that you don't sound stupid.....which makes me question the others.
ka1972, welcome to freedom. Although I'm not considering a permanent relationship, I can assure you that many formerly married men are interested in dating women who know what they want and can see it if they are standing before it.
Good Luck!
Considering he was a deadbeat and wouldn't work and was an abusive alcoholic I'm sure anyone would be an upgrade LOL I'm just not looking right now. I had low self-esteem before I met him and 20 years of being told I couldn't go anywhere, I couldn't talk to anyone, everything I did was wrong, etc on top of all the viscious comments about myself has pretty much had me feeling like I'm totally worthless and men don't really find that sexy :-)
Btw, you are doing what I recommend a lot of people do in a sexless marriage situation, or really, any situation where their partner is not willing to meet them halfway.
You don't have to tolerate it. Just because they are happy with the arrangement doesn't mean you have to be.
Congrats and I hope you have a lot of boudoir fun when it finally happens for you
And the funny thing is he has a high sex drive but just no interest in me. He masturbates all the time. I am loyal to a fault and would have actually stayed despite all the other b.s. but he also hits me and I've had enough of that.
Congratulations on breaking free and moving on with your life. I am sure it took a lot of courage to take that step, as obvious as it seemed. I hope things look up for you in the coming future.
And the funny thing is he has a high sex drive but just no interest in me. He masturbates all the time. I am loyal to a fault and would have actually stayed despite all the other b.s. but he also hits me and I've had enough of that.
And the funny thing is he has a high sex drive but just no interest in me. He masturbates all the time. I am loyal to a fault and would have actually stayed despite all the other b.s. but he also hits me and I've had enough of that.
I'm 40 years old and would honestly rather be alone than be with someone that never wants to have sex with me and won't give me affection of any kind. I spent years listening to how I'm fat, stupid, ugly, a *****, etc I'm sure no man is interested in me
he's always accusing me of cheating on him
Considering he was a deadbeat and wouldn't work and was an abusive alcoholic
and 20 years of being told I couldn't go anywhere, I couldn't talk to anyone, everything I did was wrong, etc on top of all the viscious comments about myself has pretty much had me feeling like I'm totally worthless and men don't really find that sexy :-)
he also hits me and I've had enough of that
Do you want another 20 years of pure hell?
No wonder you have low self esteem and think that you are worthless and that men do not find you sexy. You have tolerated emotional poison for 20 years and you need to get rid of him and NOW! No reminiscing or second guessing RUN-LEAVE-ADIOS—BYE BYE!
You will never find out the truth, the truth is you are a valuable person and that some men will find you sexy. You have been loyal to a person that has dragged you through a sewer. If a man treats you right you will never be unloyal to him and that is valuable. Have you read the many stories on here about spouses not being loyal and the great pain that causes?
A man that has a woman that has not been loyal and has cheated on him repeatly will think that you are extremely valuable.
Stop believing that kockroach husband of yours and leave his sewer. You can only get better by leaving.
He was controlling and abusive. The fat and ugly comments were his way of brainwashing you into believing you were worthless. I highly suggest you get some counseling. It is like you have been a hostage for 20 years and you have just made your escape. Guys like that give the rest of us decent men a bad name. There are plenty of decent, affectionate men out there that would love to be with you. However, it may take you a while to trust again. Good luck and although I am sorry you had to go through this, I am so happy for you now!
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The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to "stand up for your rights." Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. 1 Corinthians 7:2 (The Message)
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solved the no sex in the marriage issue 
