Originally Posted by livelaughlovenow View Post
Absolutely Glad others chimed in, that have been going thru some stuff and been there. I would talk with her about this thing when she was a young child... in your talks you may find that is part of it, and can find ways to reassure her that you are wanting them for an entirely different reason, because they are part of her. I know one time my husband said he wished he could take mine off and keep em for a day... I was like jeeze, thanks.... NOT. lol. Communicate. And remember to love all of her, and tell her, start with her heart. Start with telling her all the things you love about her personality... then lead into the physical stuff... Have you had any conversations yet? You should post updates, seems from other posts you are not the only man with this problem.
Well it just so happened we did talk yesterday evening about it. I was pretty surprised to be honest. She had the day off (first day of a badly needed vacation for her), and decided to go pick up all of the ingredients for a special dinner for me. I got home, and was surprised to find that she was cooking up a storm, had what she called 'man-flowers' out for me, my favorite chocolates, and one of the sweetest cards that she has ever written me (she's not a big card writer).
She told me that she could tell that I was down in the dumps for the past couple of days (thats around the time I stopped cuddling with her and touching her breasts entirely). She said she felt like it was because she was away working so much, and that she didn't spend her time at home, really being at home
. She said she was still thinking about her dying patients at work, etc. (she's still a 2nd year resident, so she's new at these responsibilities, and trying to get a handle on them).
She also said she thought I was down in the dumps because we weren't having sex enough, and that she would work on that. This is where I stepped in and tried my best to re-assure her that sex was not the issue at all - that we can completely take sex out of this issue. I told her that I was upset for a couple of days, but that it wasn't her fault, just something that I was trying to work through on my own. I explained that I felt like I was overly-affectionate, and I felt it was starting to annoy her. I said that it seemed that our thresholds for affection weren't really matching up, and that I would do my best to make it more comfortable for the two of us with regards to that.
Sooo, long story short, I feel like this is a good beginning for us with regards to communicating on the issue. We still have a ways to go, I know, and am just happy that I have somewhere to start.
This morning, I was still trying to give her space without spooning her. I just gently placed my hand on her side (waist). She then gently took my hand and placed it on her breast - we never said anything. I just sighed and cuddled up behind her, letting her know that she made my morning...