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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » My wife's breasts.... and me

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 08-07-2012, 09:20 PM   #106 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife's breasts.... and me

I enjoy being my husband's sex object! I don't understand why that is degrading.
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Old 08-07-2012, 09:34 PM   #107 (permalink)
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I enjoy being my husband's sex object! I don't understand why that is degrading.

Me too. I love it! He is obsessed with me (his exact words) and I'm his and he is mine.

I'm always groping him...esp in public. I was at his job recently, and went to do the up the leg rub and grab him, his co worker walked by at that exact moment, and crashed into something. To funny.

But, I don't feel used I don't feel like a blow up doll or a hooker.

I like my husband. I like him to touch me. I love to touch him.
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Old 08-08-2012, 07:08 AM   #108 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife's breasts.... and me

Well I guess from reading this entire thread, some women are just wired differently with respect to this " touchy" issue.
Also it seems that depending on the state of the relationship with their SO,their desire to be touched in that way may increase or wane.

In the beginning of our marriage , my wife used to complain that I never touched her like that outside of the sex,she cried and said she wanted me to touch her all the time.

Growing up,I was taught that " decent men" don't touch their women like that,and " good girls" don't allow men to touch them like that.
I had to do a lot of de programming..............
I was raised by a divorced,single , uber religious / conservative mother.
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Old 08-08-2012, 07:32 AM   #109 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife's breasts.... and me

sorry if someone else mentioned this ...I didn't read all the replies.

she probly wants you to pinch her nipple instead of just caressing her breast. tune it in like a radio station ALL women like that!

on a more serious note. My wife also has very nice tatas! and she has said all her life people have looked even bosses and what not. she catches their eyes as shes talking to them and it makes them feel like thats all they got is nice t*ts. so they get hyper sensitive about it.

I would tell her thats its definatly one of the things that you love about her but that its only one small part of what you love about her and it the total package that really dose it for you.
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Old 08-08-2012, 07:34 AM   #110 (permalink)
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then say now come her and show me the gold!!!!!because I anit going to quit liking them!
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Old 08-09-2012, 01:34 AM   #111 (permalink)
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Now, I haven't read through every response, so if I'm being repetitive, please pardon... but it sounds as if your wife has some underlying reasons for her responses to your advances. Really, changing in the other room and hiding herself? Phew... I am sorry! Now, have you talked to her about her adolescence? Did she 'develop' early? Was she teased, harassed, or invaded in any way? She sounds to me to have a deep-seated reason for her discomfort and heightened sensitivity to your attraction to her breasts. Outside of you. You dear! How wonderfully you have responded by taking her into consideration! Even asking these questions is heartfelt and shows your concern for her and for your intimacy. You are NOT selfish, you are normal. See, I was not personally endowed with the perfect 'set' and would love to have the attention you pay to her. She may see it as a painful reminder of what she hates... Sounds like you two could use a therapist. (No offense! I believe we ALL can benefit!) It can be hard to share your deepest feelings with your spouse! She needs to understand that there is love in your caress, not lust. Not fetish. She needs to come to terms with her body and with your intentions, which are not to harm her, lust after her or use her. I feel so strongly about the need to understand your partner and allow them to enjoy your body! To 'share' each other with respect and gentleness. I feel for you and truly think that if you haven't already, couples counseling could be of great benefit. She needs to understand how you feel and sometimes it can be less threatening listening to you share these feelings with someone else (in her presence) than having them directed at her. Who knows, she may have a 'eureka' moment and realize she wants to help your love life and attention to her 'bewbies' isn't such an awful thing... coming from the right person with the right intentions. Best of luck to you on this very difficult subject.
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Old 10-02-2012, 07:17 AM   #112 (permalink)
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She even admitted that her libido is practically non-existent these days.
Sorry for bringing up an old thread, but this caught my eye. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of birth control are you using? I ask because I've seen many times when hormonal based birth control diminishes or kills the woman's libido.
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Old 10-02-2012, 07:33 AM   #113 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife's breasts.... and me

I don't understand your wife's way of thinking. I'm ecstatic that after all these years together, having kids, and growing older that my husband still loves my body...especially my breasts.

He touches and grabs me playfully all the time, and loves to fall asleep spooning me with his hand cupping a boob.

If the day ever comes that my husband no longer desires me sexually, I'm going to be one sad chica.
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Old 10-02-2012, 08:52 AM   #114 (permalink)
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Ok my husband has this same idea, that he wants to constantly touch my boobs.

Personally, I hate it, outside of sex.

It just feels degrading, and uncomfortable. I don't walk by him and grab his balls everytime I pass him. I find it uncomfortable to constantly be touched there. It's like being treated like a sex object 24/7.

Also, I dont like any part of my body to be treated like a play toy for his amusement, which is kind of what it feels like when he won't lay off. Sort of like a little boy pawing at my boobs in fascination - I guess a woman might feel like a grown man should have more self control? I don't know. It's hard to explain.

Also, if you have done this constantly, you may have created the negative association in her yourself. I think you need to back up and stop for awhile and let her get over the negative feelings.
Have you tried grabbing his balls every time you walk by? Because I can promise you he would like that.

A lot of you ladies will eventually long for the days when men wanted to touch you. I can't believe that it's come to the point where women are complaining that men find them desirable.
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Old 10-02-2012, 09:26 AM   #115 (permalink)
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Default Re: My wife's breasts.... and me

First off. Boob touching to most men is not the equivalent of sex. Only sex is the equivalent of sex.

I long for the early days in my relationships where woman are in the infatuation phase and are into physical touch followed by sex. I am a strong physical touch person and I desire to touch every single inch almost all the time.

So let me sum up. Most men want to touch their wives. It's a compliment that you are the only one for him. Also most men do NOT touch other women or multiple women in the way they touch you. You are ALL he's got. That's it. Period. If you can't meet a compromise, then you should get out of the way and let him find someone who can.

For the ladies. If your life is stressful, find ways to detox and draw yourself closer to your husband. Date your husband again. Not once a week but 3-4x + if you can help it. Not just "dinner & movie" but go dancing, dress up, walks on the beach/park, just bring out your "A" game. (This goes for men too.)

My advice to men. Make your wives lives memorable and push harder to meet her emotional needs. Dig deeper then you ever have. Ask, study, write down what works and what doesn't so you don't forget, take her out for the weekend away from work and kids. Romance her, sacrifice a friggin meal for a flower if you have to. This is the woman you "loved" when you married and while you shouldn't be a doormat you should make sure she isn't seeing you as a "partner" rather then a husband/boyfriend.
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Old 10-02-2012, 09:45 AM   #116 (permalink)
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Well according to both the ICD-10 and the DSM-IV-TR, a fetish is a sexual fixation on an inanimate object, like a shoe, stocking or undergarment.

It is a psychological disorder, usually classed as Axis I, where the object becomes absolutely necessary for sexual gratification.

Sexual fixation on a non-sexual part of the body, like legs, feet, breasts, etc., can be considered a related paraphilia called a 'partialism' if and when interest in that body part supplants interest in the sexual parts of the body.
The DSM V is coming out soon so i wonder if any of that will change. Ive never used that diagosis. Many diagnoses in the DSM are taken with a grain of salt.

Homosexuality used to be considered a mental disorder and was once in the DSM btw.
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Old 10-02-2012, 05:47 PM   #117 (permalink)
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It is good you are talking about it... just tread carefully. Your story reminds me of how our downward spiral started.

I too feel comforted and special when I get to touch my wife’s breast. Kind of a little personal thrill that this beautiful woman wants to be with me. I feel special I am allowed in that place. It is extremely intimate to me. (Think like a kiss might be for others) Now, somewhere in there, she got it in her head that “this is all you think about” assuming sex. She’s hung up on it being ‘sexual’. So, I got the hand slaps, her removing my hands and so forth. Like you, I’d get angry and roll over.

And we talked... Work, stress, tender at times of the month, sweaty, fat, tired, etc.; Always a reason ‘not to let me’. It started creeping over into the sex as well. Maybe if I did more for her to help her feel a bit more charitable? I started doing more and more. While this worked in the short term, I had also unknowingly established an exchange rate in her head. And all along, it became more and more ingrained into her that I only valued her for my own sexual delight.... AND because I was doing more, she started taking for granted that I was doing these things above and beyond... they no longer had value and just became ‘normal’ things I should be doing. That sort of inflation eventually put her price on intimacy above my normal capabilities.... enter the sexless marriage.

It has zero to do with fetishes or my respect for her. It also has very little to do with sexual advances. It had a lot to do with me feeling a special bond with my lover and wife and expressing/receiving this. Imagine if it was a kiss. A kiss doesn’t mean that is “all I think about” or have to lead to anything sexual. An intimate touch is what I wanted. My wife translated ‘intimate’ into ‘sexual’. “Sexual” she wasn’t feeling..... I get that. Yet, she wanted “intimate”. For her that was something else entirely.... she never understood that I do not tick like her. I lacked the experience and the insight back then.... passing it on to you.

Get the Five Love Languages book someone suggested earlier and read it together. Talk about and define what intimacy is for you. It can help.
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Old 10-02-2012, 06:00 PM   #118 (permalink)
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It is good you are talking about it... just tread carefully. Your story reminds me of how our downward spiral started.

I too feel comforted and special when I get to touch my wife’s breast. Kind of a little personal thrill that this beautiful woman wants to be with me. I feel special I am allowed in that place. It is extremely intimate to me. (Think like a kiss might be for others) Now, somewhere in there, she got it in her head that “this is all you think about” assuming sex. She’s hung up on it being ‘sexual’. So, I got the hand slaps, her removing my hands and so forth. Like you, I’d get angry and roll over.

And we talked... Work, stress, tender at times of the month, sweaty, fat, tired, etc.; Always a reason ‘not to let me’. It started creeping over into the sex as well. Maybe if I did more for her to help her feel a bit more charitable? I started doing more and more. While this worked in the short term, I had also unknowingly established an exchange rate in her head. And all along, it became more and more ingrained into her that I only valued her for my own sexual delight.... AND because I was doing more, she started taking for granted that I was doing these things above and beyond... they no longer had value and just became ‘normal’ things I should be doing. That sort of inflation eventually put her price on intimacy above my normal capabilities.... enter the sexless marriage.

It has zero to do with fetishes or my respect for her. It also has very little to do with sexual advances. It had a lot to do with me feeling a special bond with my lover and wife and expressing/receiving this. Imagine if it was a kiss. A kiss doesn’t mean that is “all I think about” or have to lead to anything sexual. An intimate touch is what I wanted. My wife translated ‘intimate’ into ‘sexual’. “Sexual” she wasn’t feeling..... I get that. Yet, she wanted “intimate”. For her that was something else entirely.... she never understood that I do not tick like her. I lacked the experience and the insight back then.... passing it on to you.

Get the Five Love Languages book someone suggested earlier and read it together. Talk about and define what intimacy is for you. It can help.
This is just sad.

Sorry you went through this.
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Old 10-02-2012, 06:12 PM   #119 (permalink)
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This is just sad.

Sorry you went through this.
But at least we recovered.... Better than most who ended up in nearly sexless marriages.
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Old 10-02-2012, 06:21 PM   #120 (permalink)
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So let me sum up. Most men want to touch their wives. It's a compliment that you are the only one for him. Also most men do NOT touch other women or multiple women in the way they touch you. You are ALL he's got. That's it. Period. If you can't meet a compromise, then you should get out of the way and let him find someone who can.
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