Help! Is my wife Gay, bi, or normal? I need a Woman's perspective
My wife and I are in our early 40's and we have 3 kids. We've been married for 16+ years and have been struggling in the bedroom for 10-12 years. My wife is just not passionate, affectionate, and has told me on more than one occasion that if she never had sex again in her life, she would be okay with it. Of course hearing this made me uneasy about our relationship.
We have sex about twice a week and she is always dreading it. Also, during sex, she would only want to do the missionary position. No kissing during sex, no foreplay, just straight to the point with lube and I have to go get ready so she can do it between commercials. I accepted this because I was at least getting something, but I really wanted the passion, I wanted to be desirable to her. I'm an attractive man (I think) and in decent shape, maybe 10 lbs overweight, so that is not the issue. I'm very clean and shower 2 times a day, once in the morning before work and again before I go to bed, so that shouldn't be an issue either. When I ask my wife the the problem is. Why there's no foreplay, she says it tickles her boobs when I kiss them, or that she not in the mood for oral, ever really. Then she reminds me that getting it twice a week is better than a lot of her friends and that I should be happy.
Recently, I tried to increase the passion, kissing, hugging more and trying to cuddle. She rejected my advances, saying she's not a kisser. When we have kissed in the past, it was mostly pecks on the lips, no real tongue action. I mean, it wasn't always like that. When we were dating, we kissed passionately and had a lot more sex. This even continued into the first couple years of our marriage, but tapered off after our first child. I finally got fed up and demanded MC, which she agreed to do.
We have been going for a couple of months now and I have noticed some improvement in the affection, but no real increase in our sexual encounters. Now to my current dilemma.
We got into a fight the other night because I wanted to cudlle with her and she didn't. She said we cuddled enough on the couch earlier and that should have been enough. The next day, I snooped around in her dresser and closet and found several porno's (5). Two of the videos were VHS and obviously old. The other 2 were from July 2009. I'm not upset about the porn. We watch porn together sometimes and I'm sure alone as well. What I found was 4 of the five porno's were girl on girl action or girl on girl orgy's. Recently I had an opportunity to download some porn from a friends server and I downloaded normal guy-girl porn. She said she wanted to download a couple videos and every last one was girl-girl. I asked her if she had a lesbian fantasy which she adamantly denied.
Should I be worried?
Women, is it normal for women to watch girl on girl porn?
Last edited by lifeisnotsogood; 08-08-2012 at 02:20 PM.