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New toys, but would he get offended?

11K views 66 replies 33 participants last post by  Mr Blunt 
#1 ·
I ordered 3 toys and they came in. Thank God I grabbed the bag before my 6-yr-old got to it and tried to open it. :rofl: Anyways, I still have to try to figure out where to hide them (they are in closet right now). But my q is, would a man get offended by any of these? My h has not seen any of them. He knows I am quite kinky these days.

(1) a ring with a "stimulator" on top, battery operated. I do not see any problem with this but wonder if it would tickle him.
(2) an "extender". i am a little worried this sends the wrong implication. lots of people gave good review on that site. in my bedroom talk with h he had sometimes mentioned "you just want a big $#*& don't you". I am totally looking at this as a toy to experiment, not something i would tell him to always use or whatever, but how would a guy feel about it?
(3) a dildo, to play with the fantasy of MMF. i just took one look and went "oh man"....

anyone that has had experience can give some input...
 
#2 ·
Ya, I would just throw away the extender, deep in the trash can. He never needs to know. Unless my husband buys them, which he has, I do not get dildoes... I want him to know he is more than enough for me, plus the real thing feels so much better anyway. As for the **** ring with the vibrator, that sounds fun. Once you bring that out he might have the thought to get a dildo for more fun. I'm not sure my hubby would be offended by something like that but I wouldn't have done it. It would be like if he got one of those porn star ***** masturbators because you weren't tight enough... Just for sometimes! While I might get him one and enjoy watching him use it, I wouldn't like him getting himself one.
 
#3 ·
hmmm. I think most men would feel bad if their wife asked them to wear an extender.

hey babe how about straping this on over your c*ck and bang me.
I think his reference to you wanting a big **** was you wanting his big **** at least in his mind.

well reverse it. would you feel bad if he ask you to wear a wig or fake boobs or said your hooha was to loose.

I'd tread lightly here. unless he says I'd like to use a big dildo on you.or if you can manage a frank conversation with him kinda beat around the bush (pun intended)

now I bet there are some guys that wouldn't care but most would be bummed or insulted.
 
#4 ·
Dump #2 right away. When you husband talks like that during sex he is talking about himself. The extender will pretty much mean you will crush him and he will never say or think that again.

The extender and dildo all seem to be about filling you up. You do realize he is going to hear that he isn't cutting it sizewise right? this isn't about being kinky, these things seem to be to make up for what your missing from him.
 
#8 ·
I have to agree with Working. I've noticed that my husband is pretty sensitive about his penis size. He's always making comments about how if his penis was larger, sex would be more pleasurable to me. I think he's plenty big (and I tell him that), but he does seem a little insecure about it.

He might feel that he can't measure up to your new toys. We gals have to build up our guys. JMO
 
#9 ·
Eeek! An extender! That sounds like trouble!

Before you mention anything about it, casually ask him over to the computer while your browsing toys and innocently click on the category with the extenders, see what his reaction is. If its not a bad one, be like "wanna get one babe!"..in a cute voice....if he gets mad or offended, play it off like you were being sarcastic...but if he is all for it...then wait a week and act like you ordered it and bring it out to play!

As for the ring and dildo...that's harmless fun.

I just bought a rabbit dildo/vibrator and my H was uneasy about it, but he's never been uneasy about my dildo or anything else. Anywho, we tried it out last night...it was nice, but I made it very known to him that I wanted him instead so he felt better about it.

So even if the toy does feel better...act like you prefer him and want him!
 
#12 ·
Truthfully, this is how my H is too. He is very open minded.

I own a very large dildo....one of those that are supposed to be mounded from a real porn star or whatever. It is much larger than my H's penis. He didn't balk at all when he saw it.

Well, he did balk a little when I told him I bought it to use on HIM. ;)

He does like using it on me occasionally.

They are just toys. Clearly they are not going to replace him completely.
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#13 ·
@justsumchick: my h would never in his life buy anything for me. He would not even know how.

@chillimorn, shaggy, workingonme: his reference is not himself. He is talking about a BBC. we are petit Asians and it's just NORMAL he doesn't have a BBC. my husband is a ****y enough guy (pun~~~) that thinks he is at least normal in his ethnic group.

yes, it's about me, but it's what he wanted--he actually was almost going to have another couple to "do us" when I adamantly refused. I told him I cannot do it with a guy without emotional connection.

you guys are under the impression i'm mocking him. i am trying to find the alternative to him really getting some dude to do me. granted, I am almost sure when it really happens he would not like it, but i know my h--he would want to see it, believe it or not.

@Katheryn--yes, that's exactly what I meant. one consistent fantasy is MMF, esp oral and PIV sex. honestly, that's my fantasy too.

@ano--that's good suggestion, I will casually test water about the extender.

@costa--yes there is a "right implication", it is we are just doing this for fun. who says a long penis is always better? might hurt like hell.

Anyways, thanks for the feedback, and I WILL hold on the extender. The idea is to try little by little anyways. And I did buy an anal plug for him :D. pretty sure he will like it.

Also, I would totally wear a wig for my h, I have never seen anyone selling fake boobs, and for a "fleshlight", I would not be offended at all if he wanted one. There is no way I am not tight because I've only had 2 C-sections and my Kegel is so powerful he says it breaks bones (verbatim). but I do not your point and will be very ginger about these toys.
 
#30 ·
personally, i think it is fine for a woman to be selfish sexually. i find it a turn on for a woman to know what she wants and express it. i love to see my wife in ecstasy.

my penis is average based on the information available on the internet. not REAL long and not REAL girthy. i got an extension for a few reasons. #1, to fill my wife up and see if she enjoys it. #2 to last long enough to give her multiple orgasms during penetration. it achieves both those goals. a nice change of pace that both of us enjoy.

i am very secure in myself and the relationship i have with my wife. i am not threatened by any toys, big, small, or plugged into the wall. if it makes her feel good, i love it.

as for introducing the extension to your husband, i think the idea of showing it to him on the internet first to gauge his response would be wise.
 
#17 ·
haha. that's why i was asking because i have no way of knowing. i also wonder if the ring would hurt him and want to be very careful.

The "plug" is a very small one. I am with all the good intention to try to train myself for anal (bought some lube too), but i don't think i will ever get there, i am very sensitive. so it will probably become for him.
 
#19 ·
The stimulating ring may be too much for him and deaden his sensation (been there, tried that).

The extender, uh, well, I think unless you're really open, and he's VERY comfortable with himself in both his own body (size) and the fact that he knows he can please and fulfil you like no other, then, maybe you could try that one. If you do, I'd darn sure not be bringing it out often.

The dildo? Hell yes! For just the reason you stated. My W also has somewhat of a MFM threesome fantasy. I'll use the dildo on her while she gives me a bj or hand job. And, sometimes with a MFM video running in the background. She does enjoy that immensely, but we do limit it to once every month or so, as we really just love to get it on together, and use stuff like that to "spice it up" every once in a while.

Also, on the dildo, not sure about your man, but I love to watch my W get herself off with it. One of my absolute favorite things.

You may want to try a dildo that approximates his size at first, and see how he reacts to it. If you pull out the "big boy donkey dong" right out of the gates, and you're going nuts, he may feel a little inadequate, when in reality it is most likely the "naughtiness" of the situation that would be such a turn on for you as well.
 
#25 ·
If you pull out the "big boy donkey dong" right out of the gates...
:rofl::rofl::rofl:

when I was looking thru the website, my eyes widened and kept whispering "OMG that's gotta hurt". I looked and looked and found the most "natural" and reasonably sized one, and it is not the flesh-colored-with-5-veins-on-side kind. it's kind of "pink jelly" type.

Like I said, it's really for MMF fantasy and I would be doing bj on him. but I do wonder how he can reach me technically. i do not know how others do it but i prefer giving him a bj either with him lying down or me kneeling in front of him. he doesn't have the longest arms and i'm wondering if this would work.
 
#20 · (Edited)
My wife has never been one for liking dildos. I have bought a few over the years but she seems to prefer me or my fingers. From a toy perspective she prefers a hatchi magic wand vibrator.

Some time ago we had a vibrating rabbit and used that some number of times for novelty. But it was a minor player.

Always been a believer that toys are just novelties to spice things up. But I do think that they could send the wrong message to some. Especially the extender. Certainly a better idea than inviting in another couple IMO. So I get where the OP is coming from ( no pun intended ).

I agree it might be a good idea to start with something of a comparable size to your hubby as opposed to the monster. He would get the message that his size is pleasurable in a dildo. I also agree that is optimal if you don't always involve the huge dildo and keep it as special.
 
#21 ·
I guess the price of the extender is far less than the price of a new hubby, so I'd thrash that immediately and better do it farther from home. If my wife/gf would pull it out before sex and ask me to wear it.. There's no right implication for that as someone said earlier :).

In general, if you ladies encounter a man so small that you want to dump him because of that, please figure out another believable reason. If he's lying, cheating, stealing mf bastard, do it with an extender as farewell gift :D
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#22 ·
would not bother me at all. All of her toys I bought because I want to pleasure herto the max. I have tryed to get her to at least give me some input on new ones but she always says she likes the ones I pick out. I would have no problem with an extender either. Its all about her so if it works for her that is accomplishing the goal right!
 
#23 ·
Seems to me that he should be happy that you're willing to try new things with him and that you feel confident enough to share your wilder side with him... I'd be very happy that you got new toys! I believe that my wife got the "extender" (not sure if it is the same as what you got) thing for us... I loved using it - it didn't hold up though, made of silicone it ripped the top and the top part came off after one of our more active events...
 
#26 ·
I seem to sense lots of male anxiety here. No offense, and I did post to get the male perspective and respect everyone's opinion, but just because your w bought an "extender" and you want to burn it, trash it, smash it...think about how your w would feel and see if she will ever buy anything else to spice things up. Like I said, in this case, it is not about mocking, comparing, putting down his THING. it is a TOY. Of course i respect his feeling. But if he simply said "hmmm. that doesn't look comfortable. i'd rather try something else", that would suffice.

I did already say I think it's a good idea to let him look at some pics on website and see if he is willing to experiment. The idea was never "hey honey here you go I think you need this".

BTW, if this logic (buying a toy conveys dissatisfaction) always applied, then MMF toys would be conveying the message "OMG my wife would never be happy with just me f$^*&(# her. She would always need 2 men." I do understand SIZE is a very sensitive issue and I am being very careful. My point is fantasies are fantasies.
 
#35 ·
Jen,

I guess you just need to keep re-stating your question until you get the answer you want. The overwhelming majority of posters here suggest to dump the extender. Are you really buying these for both of you? Or is it for your pleasure alone? Time for some truth telling here.

If the thought of the extender excites you and - as a result - will bring more passion for you to the bed, then go for it. If you're concerned about your husbands' feeling at all, the consensus is to drop it.

I would suggest a joint trip to a shop where you point them out to him and then suggest how hot it would be for him to use it on you. Any other approach and you risk mentally castrating the poor fella.


It seems like you really want this extender Jen
 
#27 ·
I've found that toys are much more fun when one of the partners is tied up, at least thats what I've discovered.

He like being hogtied/hogtying?

The extender depends on the man, but its huge turn on for a man to see his woman nearly getting off with a dildo and then calling for him to finish the job.
 
#29 ·
I've found that toys are much more fun when one of the partners is tied up, at least thats what I've discovered.
Oh, something I definitely want to do, but i was never in boy scouts and cannot even truss my chicken properly :rolleyes:

seriously, i really want to tie him up, but let's see, if i tie his hands then he cannot use the thing on me while i give him a bj. i guess the tying will have to be a separate game. so, anyone that has more experience tying your man up, please tell me what he likes. h will never tie me up so i have to figure out a way to do that (not that he doesn't like these things, but he is sooooo routine and sorry to say, non-creative, so it will just not occur to him to blindfold me or anything).
 
#28 ·
I bought an extender a while ago. Made me a couple of inches longer and a bit thicker. My wife hated it. We used it a couple of times and then threw it out.

The key thing he is "I" bought it. I wouldn't have had a problem if she bought it after talking with me about it. But if she bought it and then talked to me about it, I could easily take it the wrong way.

Since her husband has mentioned getting her a bigger **** (bringing in other partners) then he may not get offended. She might just have to say something like, "You wanted me to get banged by a bigger ****, so here is your chance to do it yourself."
 
#31 ·
Since her husband has mentioned getting her a bigger **** (bringing in other partners) then he may not get offended. She might just have to say something like, "You wanted me to get banged by a bigger ****, so here is your chance to do it yourself."
That's pretty much what I meant...
and I keep saying, bigger doesn't mean better...I might totally hate it! pretty interesting how male ego is tied to that.
i guess the female equivalent might be boob size. but i would not be crushed over some other woman's boobs. in fact, h had said in past "perky little boobs" are attractive. I guarantee you that can sting a woman who has had kids and sagging boobs. but i shrugged. i like my C boobs that naturally follow gravity after so many years. Did have a long period of "depression" after birth and breast feeding and seeing how dramatically they changed, but now very much at peace with them.
 
#32 ·
So to the men who have issues with toys that are bigger than your parts, do you only look at porn that have women that resemble your wife or do you look at a variety of women? If you insist on buying toys for your wife, does she get to choose the porn that you watch?

Just out of curiosity.
 
#34 ·
I have bought toys for my wife that are larger than I I don't have a problem with it in fact I enjoy it.

A penis extension sends a different message though.
It's the equivlent of buying your wife a boob job for her birthday as a surprise.

The first thing she's going to think is that she's not adequate for you.

A penis extension is directly saying " you're **** isn't big enough for me"
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