KHC223

Maybe I should say no every time she says no, What I'm saying is she says no to sex, you guys have herd it, tired, not in the mood, blah blah blah. And the next time she wants to go for a bike ride, or a walk or what ever just say NO! I don't suppose this will get me anywere or is this the NMNG thing I've been reading about on here?

EleGirl

How often do the two of have sex?

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KHC223

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KHC223

Were down to weekends.But more important than how often is if your both ok with how often JMO. I don't like to here no.

Toffer

KHC,

Many of us are in the same position.

One thing you can try is leading a life YOU find more appealing. Start hanging out more with friends and making plans for you. Get back into some of your old hobbies or develop new ones.

Also, start to work on you. Exercise, lose a few pounds and start to dress better. Let her persue you.

Also, stop doing all the little things she likes to do like the bike rides or walks. However, always seem happy and upbeat and don't be rude. Say "No thanks honey" and things like that.

try it for a few weeks and youu'll find yourself in a happier place and less focused on the sex.

However, you also have to realize that if your spouse is truly a low drive individual, she may be happy with the lowered damands on her

KHC223

Thanks toffer I think your right, not easy but either is marrige.

kingsfan

Yep, been there, done that.

First things first, follow what Toffer says, which it sounds like you are. It is perfectly ok to say no to her needs, just don't turn it into a tit for tat. That will get you nowhere.

But if you honestly don't feel like going for a bike ride or walk or whatever, tell her so. I mean, she is telling you when she doesn't feel like sex, why can't you tell her when you don't feel like doing something with her?

I'd also not mention the lack of sex issue when she asks you why you aren't doing as mch with her anymore. And she will ask. Try to keep them seperate. Discuss the sex issue seperately as well and explain how sex can bring you closer and make you feel more connected to her.

KHC223

Menopause and LD/ND any one live thru this? (tell me if you think it should be a new thread) I told her I've been reading on line alot about sex, marriage and it seem to open the conversation the short of it is resentment. She said we both have some resentmets to each other I agreed and said we need to talk it out or counseling if not it will lead to divorce. Didn't get any deeper into it than that, not sure what her resentment is I'm guessing, Menopause and I still want sex or that she has to work (her PM she was a SAHM) Thanks for the help