Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Age plays a big factor as well. As a woman gets older, she may produce less natural lubrication, especially after menopause.
I think you just have to adapt to the person you are with & the changing stages of life, after all, lube is made for a reason!
Depends on her state of arousal. Depends on the time of the month. Depends on what meds she's taking. Depends on the size of the man, relative to the woman.
Right now if and when my wife and I have sex there HAS to be oils or lubricants involved or I'm not allowed in, but with my ex and also a past girlfriend all it took was making out and fondling their breasts for about 5-10 minutes and they were......wet and ready(without lube).
So in a perfect world all women would be able to do this and just curious why it's not more common?
There are other ways to get her wet that she may appreciate...go down on her.
I guess what I was trying to say is that I wish that my wife was more like my ex wife and ex girlfriend, because they did not need lube everytime and a whole grand production and 20 minutes of foreplay to be all wet and READY to go. Once I began making out with my ex-wife and fondling her breasts and backside it wouldn't take very long at all before she says loudly - "I am soooo wet and wanna f*ck right now", and so what man wouldn't want his woman to handle her business like that.
I guess what I was trying to say is that I wish that my wife was more like my ex wife and ex girlfriend, because they did not need lube everytime and a whole grand production and 20 minutes of foreplay to be all wet and READY to go. Once I began making out with my ex-wife and fondling her breasts and backside it wouldn't take very long at all before she says loudly - "I am soooo wet and wanna f*ck right now", and so what man wouldn't want his woman to handle her business like that.
Don't tell me you just wanna sick it in with little to no foreplay involved that's just sad, especially for your wife. And I'm guessing it takes a little more than breast fondling to get most women warmed up. You should be happy you know what your wife needs to warm up and how to do it. Stop pondering the past girlfriend bs and worry about the here and now.
All women are different, just like others have said.
Me, I get too wet and actually have to wipe off as it's too "slippery."
And my breasts are extremely sensitive, I always joke to my husband that they are connected to my "tw&&". You play with my breasts and I'm ready to go immediately.
Reason why I haven't gotten a boob job, too afraid of losing the sensation.
I guess what I was trying to say is that I wish that my wife was more like my ex wife and ex girlfriend, because they did not need lube everytime and a whole grand production and 20 minutes of foreplay to be all wet and READY to go. Once I began making out with my ex-wife and fondling her breasts and backside it wouldn't take very long at all before she says loudly - "I am soooo wet and wanna f*ck right now", and so what man wouldn't want his woman to handle her business like that.
Yeah but she's your ex-wife--must be a reason for that--her "I am sooo wet and wanna f*ck right now" apparently did nothing to keep the marriage together.
Quit comparing your current wife with others - that's a bad move from any angle. If the "others" were so great, why aren't you still with them?
All women are different and even then can change with age or children.
Also some women don't get aroused with breast fondling.
Perhaps you can find out if there are any other pre-game activities that may get more of her juices flowing. Try to do so in a way that won't make her feel bad about not being able to become naturally lubed.
Try perhaps to embrace the use of lube. I once lubed my wifes whole crotch with lube and rubbed her viggorously. She had not tried this herself and she practically saw stars she came so many times and intensly.
There may be a time (hopefully not) that you may need a little help getting hard. Think how this would feel and tread lightly on the topic.
On the plus side lube can also allow you to sometimes last longer. This can be really fun too.
For women that can't secrete very much, I imagine it can feel akin to ED in men. It can make you feel very inadequate, for both partners. The more you worry about it, the worse it can get because you have a hard time thinking about anything other than the issue at hand.
Please don't let on to your partner that you find this lacking unless if you have a really really good line of communication going on.
I never had a big problem with my level of wetness until I had a hysterectomy. From then on, lube is required at some point. There are times, like when I give my husband a BJ, or when the foreplay is especially good, that I will be quite wet. But other times, even if I am over-the-moon excited, that I will be pretty much dry.
I have no control over it, and although my husband has always been sweet and has never complained, I can tell that he is disappointed a little when he reaches down during foreplay and discovers I still need lube. He is so nice about it, but it does give me a twinge and makes me feel 'broken'.
Don't tell me you just wanna sick it in with little to no foreplay involved that's just sad, especially for your wife. And I'm guessing it takes a little more than breast fondling to get most women warmed up. You should be happy you know what your wife needs to warm up and how to do it. Stop pondering the past girlfriend bs and worry about the here and now.
Well the here and now sex wise has been pretty crappy and non-existent for quite awhile now, and I'm allowed to miss certain elements that I really enjoyed from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends because it's normal and I'm only human. And before everyone starts in about "well if you did this - and if you did that", for the record I have already TRIED doing many and multiple things to please my wife in bed, but she flat out admitted that she's never really enjoyed sex as much as she should probably. And when you have been with women in the past who did LOVE sex as much as you do and now you're married to someone who really doesn't, it becomes a problem eventually(and no amount of lube or foreplay is gonna change all that).
Well the here and now sex wise has been pretty crappy and non-existent for quite awhile now, and I'm allowed to miss certain elements that I really enjoyed from ex-wives and ex-girlfriends because it's normal and I'm only human. And before everyone starts in about "well if you did this - and if you did that", for the record I have already TRIED doing many and multiple things to please my wife in bed, but she flat out admitted that she's never really enjoyed sex as much as she should probably. And when you have been with women in the past who did LOVE sex as much as you do and now you're married to someone who really doesn't, it becomes a problem eventually(and no amount of lube or foreplay is gonna change all that).
Did she make that admission BEFORE you got married?
If not, then shame on her. Was she hot and ready to go before you got married and it slowed down afterwards?
I don't mean to be harsh, but if she didn't discuss any of this with you BEFORE you got married, then it sounds like a bait and switch to me.
Maybe she's never really had great sex (no disrespect to you intended), and doesn't know what she's been missing. I know I didn't enjoy sex until I married my second husband--he was the one who worked to light my fire. Perhaps that's the issue...
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Re: Some need lube.....others don't. 
