Thank you all for responding! I feel so alone in this situation and now he is telling me he is going to change and everything will go back to normal. But, I can't trust him right now... I have to rebuild the trust and it is going to be hard. I talk to him about it often because it makes me feel better... I have a right to know why he did this to me. We are starting counseling on Monday. Wish me luck!
I'm going to try to be as diplomatic as possible but it's going to be an effort based upon the contents of your post.
You begin your post by detailing the fact that the REASON you married him was because he wasn't very sexual. Strike one. That's a terrible reason to marry someone. You should marry someone because you love them, not because they don't want to have sex with you. If this is not what you intended to say, revisit your original post and make it crystal clear. Moving on...
When you found out that he was indeed looking at porn you then launched into a whole tirade about repairing the trust and that you're rubbing this into his face constantly because it makes you feel better. It makes you feel better because you like playing the victim. Stop it. This is about your husband, not your ego hurting.
With that said, since you're looking for a scapegoat, you can blame your husband - not the porn. If you didn't meet his needs sexually, he should have voiced this to you and then - if his needs were continued not to be met - he should have ended the relationship and found someone willing to share a satisfying sex life with him.
He should also have had the strength to go into individual counseling if his childhood sexual abuse was causing problems in his marriage but him hesitating to do this is, to me, far more understandable. As someone who has had both male and female friends who have been molested and raped as children, this is not an issue most people want to revisit.
So if you want to chastise your husband, chastise him for not communicating how important his sexual needs were to you. But if your goal is to help your husband and forgo the role of self-righteous ego-hurt angry wife, get him into individual therapy and SUPPORT him in dealing with his childhood sexual abuse issues. Don't make it about you being a victim. Make this about you being a caring wife who wants the best for her husband who was abused as a child.
Or, option three, bury your head in the sand and blame everything on porn.