08-08-2012, 03:07 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
| | Re: Sexless, affectionless marriage, looking for advice
I am in a similar situation - without the exes talk and flirty behavior, just do a lot around the house (not expected to though - I do what I can when I can) and have less than optimal sex life. So, no offense intended, but your W seems really bad. Are you sure she is not cheating? Are you sure the child is yours?
Assuming no cheating, you need to understand what you are thinking/feeling. Is it sex or affection you miss. Is it sex with her or sex in general. It is likely the rejection that is so hurtful. Once you understand yourself, you can express what you need.
If it is sex, you can say that the promise to forsake others is really also a promise to give your spouse a fulfilling sex life. If it is the rejection, you can say the rejection of sex is a rejection of you and all you do for your family. In either case, you are not happy and things will change or end. There is a reason for her rejecting you. It may not be a quick fix solution. It is her responsibility to figure out what that reason is. Walk up to her, tell her you'd like her to think about why she is asexual and inaffectionate toward you and tell her you're going to get a beer and will be back later. Give her a time frame to discuss - we can talk in 3 hours, tomorrow night after dinner . . .
There is no definitive solution, but certainly being more in charge and responsible for yourself. Do not be a d!ck, just more of a leader. More indifferent to her. You must feel it and believe it - you do not need her. Another thing that it sounds like is that you make her feel like you objectify her - she feels it's sex you want not her.