I think that society today conditions men to not take control. IMO, there is a heavy feminization of the modern male that is happening today. To me, this is causing lots of confusion and issues, especially in marriage.
I remember a poster I seen just a few weeks ago. It had two pictures on it. The first was a picture of Stallone, firing a gun in the midst of what I think was the second Rambo movie. Under it, it said 'male role model of the 1980's'
The second picture was of that Patterson guy from the Twilight movies and under it it said "male role model today"
It was meant as a joke, but it really rings true. Gone are the days of seeing macho men doing macho things on TV, in the media, in films. The best you have now is stuff like Batman, and even in those movies (I haven't seen the newest one, so maybe this doesn't apply to that film) he's head over heels for a women who ends up dying (Dent's fiancee). He's full of confusion, full of doubt. Whatever happened to the guys like Rambo and Chuck Norris and Stallone who simply kicked the door in and kicked some ass. No need for love story underlines, no need for contemplation and doubt, just some take charge, alpha male ass kicking.
Now we are told to be in touch with our feminine side, talk about things, never use physical discipline, we are just 'pigs' if we go to a strip club, 'typical men' if we go out with the guys, and it's a 'man's world' because men still earn more than most women, even though there is still this expectation that the man brings home the money in the majority of households.
We see it in this forum as well. Men are wrong for watching a bunch of porn, but women are almost appluaded for doing the same. If a man wants sex everyday,. he's told he wants it to much. If a woman wants sex everyday though, she is lofted onto a pedestal. A women who doesn't offer up as much sex as we'd like is just normal and expected, but if a man doesn't offer it up as much as his wife wants, he's accused of not knowing how good he has it and that he may have a major medical issue, such as ED or low testoterone.
I know I have made statements similar to the above in some of my posts as well, but I do so in an effort to help, not as what I expect of men and women. It seems like this world is very much more pro woman than ever and only continuing to go in that direction. I'm fine with that, happy in fact, as I think women's roles in society have been greatly undermined for centuries. That said, it shouldn't come at the expense of men's roles, needs and wants, and that seems to be the way it is heading.
Men are expected to be totally different than they were 20-40 years ago outside the bedroom, but the exact same in it. It doesn't work that way. You can't change a guy into wanting to think about your needs first outside the bedroom, then expect him to drop his trousers and demand you get on your knees inside the bedroom.