Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Here is my situation. I posted this already on the infidelity board, but have come over here to seek advice on the portion of our sex life.
The details; I met my wife while doing search and rescue at a tornado ravaged area near our home town. We hit it off right away and started talking. She had just gotten out of an engagement, she said he cheated, and was dating another guy. So, I took things slow with her, being respectful of her choice in men. She broke it off with her boyfriend and I pursued, and we started getting serious a few months later. The first time we had sex, it was mind blowing for me, she got hers too! Now, throughout the course of our relationship her EX has come and gone in many forms, ranging from text, phone conversations, facebook messages, and finally her cheating on me with him. Here is the issue. She has told me that he was "larger" in that area, and Im nothing special, barely breaking "average" on a good day. HOWEVER, I have confidence in my abilities and do everything else I need to make sure my wife is happy in the bed room. She has told me that I made her cum more times in the first month of her and I being together than the entire time she was with her EX, (ok, now Im not gullible. I understand that she isnt going to be honest with me about her sex life with her ex) I found out that she cheated on me with him, (apparently, she just needed to get it from him) the circumstances are complicated, but from what I gather she met him in a hotel strictly for sex, no feelings, no emotional connection, just sex.
Now, Im dealing with that in my own way, the question that keeps coming up in my mind is;
Did she prefer to be with him because he's larger than me? She told me that I'm great in bed, not the best, probably because of size, but I know what I'm doing and I'm very focused on keeping her happy and pleased in ALL aspects of our sex life. Is this something that I need to worry about in the future? I'm facing a mental road block as well due to her infidelity, whenever I think of her sexually, I can only imagine her with him because of her cheating on me. I know this isnt the infidelity board, but what can I do to either claim that part of my life back, or know that she prefers to have him as a sexual partner and let her go back to him?
Here is my situation. I posted this already on the infidelity board, but have come over here to seek advice on the portion of our sex life.
The details; I met my wife while doing search and rescue at a tornado ravaged area near our home town. We hit it off right away and started talking. She had just gotten out of an engagement, she said he cheated, and was dating another guy. So, I took things slow with her, being respectful of her choice in men. She broke it off with her boyfriend and I pursued, and we started getting serious a few months later. The first time we had sex, it was mind blowing for me, she got hers too! Now, throughout the course of our relationship her EX has come and gone in many forms, ranging from text, phone conversations, facebook messages, and finally her cheating on me with him. Here is the issue. She has told me that he was "larger" in that area, and Im nothing special, barely breaking "average" on a good day. HOWEVER, I have confidence in my abilities and do everything else I need to make sure my wife is happy in the bed room. She has told me that I made her cum more times in the first month of her and I being together than the entire time she was with her EX, (ok, now Im not gullible. I understand that she isnt going to be honest with me about her sex life with her ex) I found out that she cheated on me with him, (apparently, she just needed to get it from him) the circumstances are complicated, but from what I gather she met him in a hotel strictly for sex, no feelings, no emotional connection, just sex.
Now, Im dealing with that in my own way, the question that keeps coming up in my mind is;
Did she prefer to be with him because he's larger than me? She told me that I'm great in bed, not the best, probably because of size, but I know what I'm doing and I'm very focused on keeping her happy and pleased in ALL aspects of our sex life. Is this something that I need to worry about in the future? I'm facing a mental road block as well due to her infidelity, whenever I think of her sexually, I can only imagine her with him because of her cheating on me. I know this isnt the infidelity board, but what can I do to either claim that part of my life back, or know that she prefers to have him as a sexual partner and let her go back to him?
I am sorry. I don't think she is over her ex & it has very little to do with penis size. The ex is a sleaze for cheating with a married women.
Can you set up some boundaries regarding him? Are you afraid to lose her if you do?
I can't answer the question but I hope for the love of God you run from this chick. Who cares if everything she said is true or not? How freaking hurtful and disrespectful is that to say to someone you supposedly care about?
Tell her she's alright, but the tits on your ex were way nicer, and then go suck on them and tell her it didn't mean anything, you just had to have them in your mouth because they were just nicer than your current girlfriends.
Did she prefer to be with him because he's larger than me?
Maybe. Some women prefer larger. Some women prefer smaller. Some women don't care.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biscuits
Is this something that I need to worry about in the future?
That she's going to cheat on you? Absolutely. She's given you a sneak preview into married life with her. She doesn't have boundaries with other men. Most women won't continue a friendship with a past sexual partner when they have committed to another man. Most women won't delve into their sexual past with their current boyfriend, unless it's to reassure the boyfriend that he's better than her past lovers.
Your girlfriend has flaunted her experience and cheated on you. That pretty much disqualifies her as wife material.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biscuits
I know this isnt the infidelity board, but what can I do to either claim that part of my life back, or know that she prefers to have him as a sexual partner and let her go back to him?
Knowledge will help you. Maybe your girlfriend is just a psychopath who doesn't care about other people. Maybe she just really loves her ex. Maybe she's just not that into you. I don't know if you can figure it out, or not.
But, you should reclaim your sex life by breaking up with her and finding a new partner. There are plenty of them out there.
I'm getting the impression that you rug swept the affair because of your insecurity. If that is true, and you're not enforcing boundaries, then yes I think she'll cheat again.
I agree with PHTlump, dump her and find someone who is actually into you.
If it was just for sex she could have found any swing penis that had a big package, but instead she stepped out of the marriage with her ex...so that would lead me to believe she still has feeling for him. Hell now the both of them are on the same wave length, since both are cheaters.
It's really unlikely that this infidelity thing is over penis size. There are lots of things that lead to cheating. I've never seen women claiming that penis size was one of it. Of course they can hypothetically be lying about this, but it's unlikely.
Penis size is one of those things i feel is way more important for men than women. If want to find the real reasons for her cheating look at other factors.
It's really unlikely that this infidelity thing is over penis size. There are lots of things that lead to cheating. I've never seen women claiming that penis size was one of it. Of course they can hypothetically be lying about this, but it's unlikely.
Penis size is one of those things i feel is way more important for men than women. If want to find the real reasons for her cheating look at other factors.
I agree with this. I would also add that the fact that she even mentioned that he was bigger is a very very bad sign. I've never heard of a woman in love who would disrespect her man is such a way. Women know that this is a sensitive area for men. Her words to you were meant to hurt. And then to cheat on you with him after that? I almost can't believe you are still with her. Even after 20 years of marriage, I would seriously consider leaving my wife if she made such comments about my manhood. It's one of the unforgivable sins.
3Likes
Does she prefer her EX over me? 
