Re: Can a loveless, sexless marriage be fixed?
The birth of children is a common tipping point for men to go off sex with their wives.
There are various reasons for this. One is that he may consciously or unconsciously equate you being a mother with his own mother and this shuts down his desire due to the incest taboo being played out in his mind although he may very well not realize it.
Children signal the end to a man's crazy, sexually exciting prime years. If he likes the thrill of the chase and the high stimulation of sex with a new partner, the birth of children may make him feel trapped, closing the chapter on his youth and opening one that's all about responsibility, vanilla sex and middle age. Again this can shut him down sexually.
A man with a fear of intimacy may not realize this fear until he experiences a certain "trigger point" The arrival of a baby very often marks this. This is a very common reason why sexless marriages start out fine then suddenly at some point, months or years into the relationship the sex dwindles and stops. The fear of intimacy that has been triggered causes sexual anxiety and this too will kill a man's libido.
Farther down on the list of causes (but usually #1 in a woman's own mind) is sexual attractiveness. Babies mean weight gain and having kids close together may make it harder to lose weight and return the body to it's original state before pregnancy. Since the primary sexual arousal sense in men is the visual, this may be turning him off.