I want to tie him up.....
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Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 08-25-2012, 11:09 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default I want to tie him up.....

So my fantasy (for the longest LOL) has been to tie my husband up to a chair or bench or something (not the bed, I want OUT of the bed). I may have casually told him this a few years ago but I have never found a good time to initiate this. I guess anytime is as good as ever? For several years now he has been initiating sex and I think I have finally got my drive back up and I want to do something extra kinky. I think this would shock the hell out of him LOL. Is there a good time for this? How do I initiate something like this without saying, "Ok, i'm going to tie you up now" LOL.

I am pretty skilled when it comes to BJ's so of course that's going to be a big part of my little fantasy shindig.... what I am NOT skilled at, however, is talking dirty. I am not a shy woman by any means. I am sort of the "goofy" cracking jokes type. Needless to say, I would probably die laughing trying to talk dirty to my husband. I mean all out tear fest. I don't want to do that and ruin it, but how could you tie your man up and blindfold him without saying a WORD? I don't think that would pan out too well, doesn't sound very sexy at all. How do I get the nerve to talk dirty to him without wanting to laugh? I'm not talking about casual sexy giggles, I think there may actually be snorting involved if I even attempted.

Aside from how to initiate and how to talk dirty to him, are there any other recommendations someone would like to add to make this a smooth experience? Have any of you ever tied your partner up? What all was involved? Did they enjoy it? Did you? Any pointers would be appreciated:-)
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Old 08-25-2012, 12:12 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

If you've never tied him up, you might want to give him a heads up before hand. If you are going to do this after dinner, maybe bring it up before dinner or during dinner that you have special plans for him tonight. Ask him if he is okay with being restrained. Let him enjoy the suspense while waiting. Then, based on his initial response, you can tell him what he needs to know. If he's a little anxious or concerned, give him details and assurances. If he's turned on and doesn't seem concerned, then just say some things to get him more excited, but you don't have to give away any surprises.

As far as talking dirty, don't worry about not laughing. That can be part of the fun. Here are some suggestions:
Narrate what is happening, and ask obvious questions that you already know the answer to:
- Do you like it when I ......?
- Do you want me to .....?
- Do you want me to ..... ?
- Do you want to ..... my ..... ?
- Do you want me to ..... some more?
- Do you like seeing my ..... ?

Also, get him to participate. If you've got him tied up, then tell him what to say if he wants you to do something:
- I want to hear you beg me to ......
- Let me hear you say "......"
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Old 08-25-2012, 12:27 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

It would drive me nuts if my wife tied me up. She, too, is not an initiator and it would be a pleasant surprise.

Perhaps a drink or two would loosen the OP up to be more daring in thus aspect and the verbal part. I know my wife is a different woman in bed when she has a few.
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Old 08-25-2012, 12:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

Tie him up with silly string and tell him your going to spank him like the bad monkey he is. Oh and makes sure he's wearing the blindfold not you. I made that mistake once and whacked my shin a good one. Although what came out of my mouth after that sure sounded seriously dirty....
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Old 08-25-2012, 12:35 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

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Originally Posted by 40isthenew20 View Post
It would drive me nuts if my wife tied me up. She, too, is not an initiator and it would be a pleasant surprise.

Perhaps a drink or two would loosen the OP up to be more daring in thus aspect and the verbal part. I know my wife is a different woman in bed when she has a few.
I would kill for a drink.....but i'm 7 months preggo with baby #4 LOL.

I'm not really shy in bed at all, i'm down for whatever (ok there are a few exceptions). My main thing is being able to initiate this without blatantly telling him what's up and ruining the surprise. I tried to talk to him earlier about "fantasies" so I could get a feel for how he would respond to being tied up. That way i'm not doing anything that makes him uncomfortable......but knowing my husband he'd totally be down for it. I just don't know how to pull it off....

And then dirty talking..... it's not that i'm embarrassed, I don't think there are many things in this world that could embarrass me, like I said, i'm a goofball anyways lol. I just don't know if I could control the laughter. I know some light giggles would be fun but if I am bursting at the seams with laughter then I know he wouldn't take the whole thing seriously and knowing him he may get offended like, "Why did you tie me up if your just going to laugh the whole time" type of thing lol. So I want to get around that.
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Old 08-25-2012, 04:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

Some people have bad reactions to that. I would start with light restraint, something that seems like restraint but he can get out of. They sell handcuffs at the sex toy stores that have a latch on them so the person can get out if they want. Or start out telling him to hold his hands behind his back and lightly tie a scarf around his wrists.
Tell him he has to keep his hands behind him if he wants to get his reward.
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Old 08-30-2012, 07:43 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

I apparently failed with a lot of communication in my marriage, but we were never embarrassed to talk about what we wanted with sex. If we wanted something, we just mentioned it; there really didn't have to be a special moment. I enjoyed my x wife tying me up, and i think we just mentioned it one day and got the ropes.

Do you feel he will really be against it? Will he think it is weird? Do you feel he will want you to talk dirty or is that something you want to do?
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Old 08-30-2012, 07:46 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

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I apparently failed with a lot of communication in my marriage, but we were never embarrassed to talk about what we wanted with sex. If we wanted something, we just mentioned it; there really didn't have to be a special moment. I enjoyed my x wife tying me up, and i think we just mentioned it one day and got the ropes.

Do you feel he will really be against it? Will he think it is weird? Do you feel he will want you to talk dirty or is that something you want to do?
He's already said he would be down for it.... No, I don't want to talk dirty LOL. It's not something I think I could do too well. But I imagine it would take a lot out of it for him if I were to say nothing the entire time....
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Old 08-30-2012, 07:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

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Originally Posted by kl84 View Post
So my fantasy (for the longest LOL) has been to tie my husband up to a chair or bench or something (not the bed, I want OUT of the bed). I may have casually told him this a few years ago but I have never found a good time to initiate this. I guess anytime is as good as ever?
Go for it!

Quote:
For several years now he has been initiating sex and I think I have finally got my drive back up and I want to do something extra kinky. I think this would shock the hell out of him LOL. Is there a good time for this? How do I initiate something like this without saying, "Ok, i'm going to tie you up now" LOL.
If you want to be safe, just tell him you got a surprise for him after getting him in the mood. If you want to surprise him, cuff him when he least expects it.

Quote:
I am pretty skilled when it comes to BJ's so of course that's going to be a big part of my little fantasy shindig.... what I am NOT skilled at, however, is talking dirty. I am not a shy woman by any means. I am sort of the "goofy" cracking jokes type. Needless to say, I would probably die laughing trying to talk dirty to my husband. I mean all out tear fest.
My wife and I laugh a lot with our dirty talks and sometimes it's so cheesy we just end up bursting out laughing. Especially when we play a games like superior officer/inspection/slave etc etc

Just roleplay and it'll come naturally. After a while you'll be dirty talking instinctively.

Quote:
I don't want to do that and ruin it, but how could you tie your man up and blindfold him without saying a WORD? I don't think that would pan out too well, doesn't sound very sexy at all.
How do I get the nerve to talk dirty to him without wanting to laugh? I'm not talking about casual sexy giggles, I think there may actually be snorting involved if I even attempted.
You're thinking too much in my opinion, and it's going to show. You're being a bit self-concious, just go with it! One of my wife's strengths is how she simply doesn't give a crap when it comes to getting what she wants and doing what she wants to her man (Also a problem!!!). As such, she's a natural at it and confident, and THAT's sexy.

Quote:
Aside from how to initiate and how to talk dirty to him, are there any other recommendations someone would like to add to make this a smooth experience? Have any of you ever tied your partner up? What all was involved? Did they enjoy it? Did you? Any pointers would be appreciated:-)
Just don't go too far. My wife tortured me years ago and I banned her from restraining or cuffing me since then. She would be the best at this if only she could control her fantasies once she realises she has all the power.
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Old 08-30-2012, 08:05 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

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He's already said he would be down for it.... No, I don't want to talk dirty LOL. It's not something I think I could do too well. But I imagine it would take a lot out of it for him if I were to say nothing the entire time....
Don't worry about talking dirty to the point you feel like you are acting, just do whatever comes natural. Don't feel like you have to be in a porn movie. Just let out some ooooooos and ahhhhhhs, and an occasional "oh, yeah" and "I love this" while he's squirming around. That's how it was with us. We never felt we had to change things just because I was tied up.
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Old 08-30-2012, 08:11 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

I definitely couldn't act like I am in a porn hahaha. Those girls sound so ridiculous LOL. But even the simple "I like that" makes me feel SO stupid. I can barely even utter a word during sex. Hell, forget sex, I can't even refer to my husband as honey, baby, sweetie, babe, etc without feeling ridiculous. I'm confident about pretty much everything else and shockingly enough I am one of the most talkative, verbal creatures I know LOL. But just saying *anything* remotely sexy makes me feel incredibly dumb. I know he doesn't care but I would feel stupid and it would show.
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Old 08-30-2012, 08:20 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

We use safe words. Colors work good...yellow= keep going but softer......red=get the freaken off me now and untie me.

Setting a senerio is every thing...like my wife walking up to me with a wooden spoon and demading to be spanked, doesn't work.

But walking up to me and confessing she was bad and spend to much money on paper towels, can set the mood....even though its sub on top, its not nearly as obvious and confronting me and demanding to be spanked.

I think the same can apply in your case when you appraoch your H and acuse him of being bad.....


Again its the set up, especially when its obvious, like scolding him for combing his hair wrong and commencing with the ductape, rope, and leather tac.

Putting equipment aside...its the set up and the dirty talk that will get you were you want to be IMHO.
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Old 08-30-2012, 08:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

Oh come on, that's the fun of it! Just don't take yourself seriously lol! Let your hair down and have fun being stupid and dumb
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Old 08-30-2012, 08:29 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

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I definitely couldn't act like I am in a porn hahaha. Those girls sound so ridiculous LOL. But even the simple "I like that" makes me feel SO stupid. I can barely even utter a word during sex. Hell, forget sex, I can't even refer to my husband as honey, baby, sweetie, babe, etc without feeling ridiculous. I'm confident about pretty much everything else and shockingly enough I am one of the most talkative, verbal creatures I know LOL. But just saying *anything* remotely sexy makes me feel incredibly dumb. I know he doesn't care but I would feel stupid and it would show.
Sorry girl, but you need to figure this sh*t out!!!

Like you said it isn't about hi,...he doesnt care...its about empowering you and getting past what *you* think is dumb.


I think kissing my wife and be romantic is dumb ( I just want to hold her down and bang), but if a want to meet her needs I have to act dumb. My point is it isn't about what you think but meeting your lovers need.
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Old 08-30-2012, 08:33 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: I want to tie him up.....

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Sorry girl, but you need to figure this sh*t out!!!

Like you said it isn't about hi,...he doesnt care...its about empowering you and getting past what *you* think is dumb.


I think kissing my wife and be romantic is dumb ( I just want to hold her down and bang), but if a want to meet her needs I have to act dumb. My point is it isn't about what you think but meeting your lovers need.
LMFAO.

But this is the one instance I am seriously at a loss for words. Any suggestions on what to say? Seriously. What do I say?
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