Can women REALLY "have it all?"

Jane_Doe · 09-14-2012, 01:19 PM

This question is scaring me a little too, because my life has gone a totally different direction than I thought. From being a hard-headed, never-having-kids, I-wanna-career teenager/young adult, to winding up married to a fantastic guy, having zilch for career prospects (aside from working my way up from the very bottom which may take years of full-time dedication which I may not have in me), and all of a sudden really wanting a baby.

So I'm still wrestling with questions like, shall I put my energies into developing a career, or having a baby right now and being a better 'housewife', or juggling a baby, house, and job while never seeing my husband, or spending all of my annual income on daycare so I can 'feel' like I'm working/contributing, etc. God, it's a hassle to even think about sometimes! Do men ever struggle with stuff like this?

So mostly I just try to sit back and take life how it comes. Being offered a promotion at work has helped me see some of the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not such a slap in the face to be 'part time' (no benefits) at 39.5 hours a week if they're seeing my potential after only 6 months and looking to keep me moving forward.

Anyway, rant over. I definitely don't have it all, but I want for very little.

VermisciousKnid · 09-14-2012, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jane_Doe

... and it's not such a slap in the face to be 'part time' (no benefits) at 39.5 hours a week if they're seeing my potential after only 6 months and looking to keep me moving forward.
.

Ack!!! 39.5 hours - is that legal? I thought the part time threshold was lower than that.

Jane_Doe · 09-14-2012, 01:41 PM

As far as I'm aware there's no law specifying any maximum hours for part time workers, just a law that they must pay you time-and-a-half for anything over 40 hours (hence the .5 that we get). It frustrates me sometimes!

Trenton · 09-14-2012, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by missymrs80

I am in the helping profession as well (is that ok to put you in that category?) and i worry about burn out all the time.

I don't mean you to take offense to this, I really don't, but I never worry about burning out. I worry that I will not take a missed opportunity to help or screw it up so that I'll no longer be able to help in the capacity I'd like, or worse, be too biased to make the right choice for someone else when in a position of making the right choice.

Burn out? I have so much energy that when I approach burn out I have moments of self pity, lean on the great people in my life (including those from TAM--you know who you are!), and re-ignite.

In my experience, if you believe you have the permission to burn bright, you can burn and burn and burn, endlessly. Well, at least until death takes you. I want to burn brightly up until that point and I know what I want to do. For that I feel blessed. I sincerely feel completely honored for what I have and more honored to be able to try to take that honor and turn it into something good for someone else.

missymrs80 · 09-15-2012, 12:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trenton

I don't mean you to take offense to this, I really don't, but I never worry about burning out. I worry that I will not take a missed opportunity to help or screw it up so that I'll no longer be able to help in the capacity I'd like, or worse, be too biased to make the right choice for someone else when in a position of making the right choice.

Burn out? I have so much energy that when I approach burn out I have moments of self pity, lean on the great people in my life (including those from TAM--you know who you are!), and re-ignite.

In my experience, if you believe you have the permission to burn bright, you can burn and burn and burn, endlessly. Well, at least until death takes you. I want to burn brightly up until that point and I know what I want to do. For that I feel blessed. I sincerely feel completely honored for what I have and more honored to be able to try to take that honor and turn it into something good for someone else.

None taken....maybe the phrase "burn out" is a phrase used more in my specific profession. This article explains it pretty well...with regard tomwhat i am talking about.

Therapist Burnout | Psychology Today

MrsKy · 09-15-2012, 01:10 PM

I felt burnt out just working as a VOLUNTEER on a suicide prevention phone line. I grew weary of talking to people with silly problems, when there were others waiting to talk about real mental health and abuse issues. "I can't find a man" is no reason to call a distress line.