Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
So I told my wife that I was looking at porn and I guess I felt guiilty since the last discusion we had about it was that she didn't like me to look at it without her, but I am a little bit too shy to bring it up (just can't find the right time or approach). She say's she knew about it and was cool about everything, we even started watching it together and started working on getting her to open up sexually, which she has problems with. Then last week out of the blue I decided to check the browser history and noticed that she has been watching porn while im either sleeping or at work. This is where I have trouble understanding this, Last week she was also on her period she has been watching porn ever other day now with no metion of it to me, not hurt really just dont understand, then out of the blue she decided she wanted to change from pads to tampons, my thought is so she could masterbate. I have been tring to get her to be more giving with our relationship, she is not one to give me a bj or handjob without anything in return, I guess u could say being less selfish in our relationship. Well this has gone nowhere now so I thought I would initiate it and offered here a no strings attached oral for her, just to get the ball rollin, but she turned it down. Why would she turn that down? Yes she loves oral. So last nite I came home late from work and now as my daily routine to check the browser history, which by the way she is deleting off of the drop down bar but not the history in general so everything she looks at is still there, and there was no porn, I thought ok tried making some moves on her with no success, her telling me we could f like rabbits tommorrow. I went to bed and bold and behold what do I find on the browser history this morning, PORN. Now Im starting to get a little hurt she turned me down because she wasn't feeling good but within two hours of me going to bed she was watching porn. What does this mean? why would she turn me down to watch porn? I have always told her she could wake me up if she ever needed anything. Right now I dont even want to engage in sex with her tonight because of how hurt I am over this. I like watching porn with her and dont want her to be embarrised about it. I just don;t know how to bring it up or if I should.
yea i guess it would come off as creepy, but last week i did everytthing for her cooked, cleaned, laundry. All for this. We talk all the time, i text her throughout the day while im at work. Posted via Mobile Device
yea i guess it would come off as creepy, but last week i did everytthing for her cooked, cleaned, laundry. All for this. We talk all the time, i text her throughout the day while im at work. Posted via Mobile Device
I don't know exactly what you're trying to get at but my husband doing housework does not make me in the mood at all lol, maybe your wife's the same way.
Have you investigated what kind of porn she's watching. I only watch it when my sexual needs aren't being met and I don't watch that made for men stuff. It's a huge turnoff for me. The kind of porn I watch directly correlates with what I'm not getting in my relationship. As in my stbxh was horrible at oral no matter how I tried to teach him. When our sex life dwindled (not due to poor oral btw although it was a contributing factor) guess which kind of porn I was looking up?
My point being maybe you can learn a thing or two about what she's interested in sexually from the porn she watches.
Or maybe she's just lazy and wants a quick O without much work(I really hope this isn't the case as it means she truly is a selfish woman as far as sex is concerned.
Maybe I'm way off base here but I thought I'd throw in my two cents.
"Or maybe she's just lazy and wants a quick O without much work(I really hope this isn't the case as it means she truly is a selfish woman as far as sex is concerned"
Agree with Mrs. I think this is the answer. She doesn't want to have to please you to get some pleasure so she masterbates.
When porn replaces the actual act of making love, it's am issue.
I would also just say to her that you'd also appreciate it if she doesn't watch porn without you and see where that conversation goes
Hmmmm.....usually this story plays out the other way around. I'm interested to hear the replies!
Porn has actually been the scourge of my marriage, and I hate it. Something that could have been used as a tool for us, has mostly ruined our sex life instead.
I don't know exactly what you're trying to get at but my husband doing housework does not make me in the mood at all lol, maybe your wife's the same way.
I believe he mentioned this only because that is an excuse often used by women as to why they do not want sex.
Have you investigated what kind of porn she's watching. I only watch it when my sexual needs aren't being met and I don't watch that made for men stuff. It's a huge turnoff for me. The kind of porn I watch directly correlates with what I'm not getting in my relationship. As in my stbxh was horrible at oral no matter how I tried to teach him. When our sex life dwindled (not due to poor oral btw although it was a contributing factor) guess which kind of porn I was looking up?
My point being maybe you can learn a thing or two about what she's interested in sexually from the porn she watches.
Or maybe she's just lazy and wants a quick O without much work(I really hope this isn't the case as it means she truly is a selfish woman as far as sex is concerned.
Maybe I'm way off base here but I thought I'd throw in my two cents.
Why investigate? at one time they were watching it together. I do NOT believe this has anything to do with him. This could be the start of some sort of porn addiction, just because it isn't common in women does not mean it does not happen. More women lured to pornography addiction - Washington Times
Waited4this,
What kind of porn is it? Is it hetero, gay!?!? Not that it makes a difference, imo anything that is used to replace your partner in any way is NOT a good thing. Especially since you have tried to talk to her.
Hmmmm.....usually this story plays out the other way around. I'm interested to hear the replies!
Porn has actually been the scourge of my marriage, and I hate it. Something that could have been used as a tool for us, has mostly ruined our sex life instead.
Porn...its interesting how it effects people. Posted via Mobile Device
my 2nd post was a response to someones comment but they deleted it. The porn she is watching is what we usually watch, straight, girl on girl, but the thing is its been over a week and she tells me that we can f like rabbits tomorrow and blows me off last night for porn. Thats what hurts i dont care that she watches porn, we both enjoy it but i think the line has to b drawn with blow each other off just to later watch porn and get ur kicks by yourself rather then ur spouse. Posted via Mobile Device
b) This is a little off the cuff, but when I'm bored with my husband's performance in bed and he's making little moves to do anything about it, I'll watch more porn. I won't turn down sex, but I'll look for the additional stimulation elsewhere until he gets it together.
Again, she doesn't want you watching porn without her right?
Tell her you noticed in the browser history that someone was looking at porn that night and it wasn't you and you'd appreciate it if she also didn't look at it without you. Don't go into the extent she's been watching it. Then ask if there's anything she wants to tell you and see what happens
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Whats up with this 
