Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
I see thread after thread here from both women and men about their spouses who either spend all their time playing video games or watching TV but never want sex.
Here's why. Dopamines are the body's hormonal reward system. TV and video games stimulate the release dopamines. They're being rewarded for spending a gazillion hours a day doing those things. Sex also stimulates the release of domaines but instead of being rewarded for hours, you're rewarded only briefly. If there is any anxiety about sex at all already due to relationship issues, some people are going to choose another activity that rewards them hormonally in a similar fashion.
Strange.... I can't see either replacing the real thing. The feelings I get from sex and the feelings I get from games or tv are totally different. And yes I do have anxiety issues when it comes to sex since my partner is far more experienced then I am. Posted via Mobile Device
I've gone through phases of gaming (poker, wii, etc). After winning some, I got bored, moved on. I've got stuck on TV shows too. Eventually, those get old too. 20 years with my wife and there were times when I was bored, but those didn't last and even when I was bored, I still wanted her.
Might be some of the same chemicals involved, but I personally have trouble drawing a comparison. Certainly not a substitute.
You're missing the point. Are you LD? I'd love to see a poll of how many LD spouses spent 6+ hours a day watching TV. Or even 8-10 hrs. I bet the correlation between LD and TV/Video Game usage is staggering.
Ok, here's one example at least... my husband is now LD. When we were gaming, he was a LOT higher drive. When I say gaming, I mean online, raids (WoW), dungeons, quests all day everyday. More than 6 hours many days. And STILL he wanted sex more than the game. Now, he is lower drive. no gaming, very little TV. So, I guess he's the exception, right?
I used to get SO mad when my husband would play his Xbox instead of spending time with me. I threw temper tantrums like a little girl who didn't get her way......
Fast forward to today.....stressed beyond belief sometimes with family life. I see my husband's gaming time as an opportunity to do WHATEVER I WANT LOL. Paint my toes, surf the web, blog, watch a movie, whatever.....he's occupied, i'm occupied, we're good LOL.
If it interfered with responsibilities, sexual or otherwise, I would have a problem with it. I don't see how he can sit for hours and play a video game, just like he can't see how I can sit for hours and watch a lecture on YouTube LOL. We're even:-)
I used to get SO mad when my husband would play his Xbox instead of spending time with me. I threw temper tantrums like a little girl who didn't get her way......
Fast forward to today.....stressed beyond belief sometimes with family life. I see my husband's gaming time as an opportunity to do WHATEVER I WANT LOL. Paint my toes, surf the web, blog, watch a movie, whatever.....he's occupied, i'm occupied, we're good LOL.
If it interfered with responsibilities, sexual or otherwise, I would have a problem with it. I don't see how he can sit for hours and play a video game, just like he can't see how I can sit for hours and watch a lecture on YouTube LOL. We're even:-)
I see thread after thread here from both women and men about their spouses who either spend all their time playing video games or watching TV but never want sex.
Here's why. Dopamines are the body's hormonal reward system. TV and video games stimulate the release dopamines. They're being rewarded for spending a gazillion hours a day doing those things. Sex also stimulates the release of domaines but instead of being rewarded for hours, you're rewarded only briefly. If there is any anxiety about sex at all already due to relationship issues, some people are going to choose another activity that rewards them hormonally in a similar fashion.
My thinking is if you aren't having sex, or thinking about sex, then you probably have a lot of time on your hands.
Maybe low drive/desire spouses find things to occupy their time so they don't get "asked" "guilted" "bothered" "pressured" or get into a fight about sex, or lack there of.
Guess its just easier to loose ones self in mindless entertainment. Jmo.
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Television, Video Games & Sex 
