I have an earlier thread that is Help hubby refuses sex. I have been contemplating a vibrator for a while to off set my frustrations so I can think clearer and help us sort through this. I picked one that is small so there is no disparity to his manhood.( I do not enjoy overly large men so I picked one with my preferences in mind) When spouse found out he got mad, and now is not talking to me. Did I do something wrong. I have never wanted one of these so I do not know the normal conduct for this in a relationship. I did not ask him to participate with me, knowing he would say no. I am an attractive woman who takes care of herself physically. So this refusal of sex is not because of my body, I also weigh less than when we got married. It is really the idea of me enjoying sex that seems to be abhorrent to him. At least that is what it seems to me. I think there is this virgin Mary thing he views me as. he talks of his great respect for me daily, and how blessed he is that I am his wife. He is also overly affectionate cuddler.
So did I do something to make him feel inadequate as a man?
I would enjoy anything that would bring him to more intimacy with me, however it would be an emphatic NO. He is not into explorations. I will mention that I am willing to enjoy these things jointly if he would like, just in case he would say yes.
To MT I will try to look out for me, but in the two years I have known him he has never been this angry. He is such a calm guy normally. I am not sure how to handle him. He won't even look me int the eyes today.
To MT I will try to look out for me, but in the two years I have known him he has never been this angry. He is such a calm guy normally. I am not sure how to handle him. He won't even look me int the eyes today.
Don't let him break you. You are free to walk away at any time.
You have the right to bring yourself pleasure any way you see fit. Tell him to get over it or do something for you so you dont need it. He can not deny you sexual relief. He agreed to be your one and only partner when you got married. He has left you no chose but for you to find an outlet. Toys are way cool. Use it in bed next to him and see if it doesnt peek his interest
Hi I am new to the forum and I just wanted to say that I have a similar problem and will keep an eye on this thread to see if and what advice is given.
I look at it this way, you wouldnt need sex toys if your husband would do the job right. Ive got sex toys, and my hubby uses them on me. I love it and so does he. So yeah, maybe you should use it on yourself next to him in bed and see what reaction he has, theres no way a man can refuse to watch his wife please herself unless hes gay..
Maybe I will use the toy next to him see if he notices I am a woman. Then again maybe that is the problem I am female. I just don't know any more where I am with him. I have been single for 8 years waiting for a man I could love. he had all the qualities I liked. My mamma always said about marriage was take him for a test drive first. She said you wouldn't buy a car without test driving it why would you marry a man without checking him out. We waited until after marriage. My mistake.
amber, my hubby must be gay then Even tho he says one of his biggest fantasies is to watch a woman then participate, not only did he not do anything, he rolled over away from me to read his book!
Then when i didn't quit, he suggested I 'take it to the other room' so as not to bother him.
Sometimes the laying in bed next to him idea doesn't work so well.
haha! my husband enjoys it...he watches then joins LOL i couldnt ask for a better sex life! I could ask for it to last a little long then 30mins.. but we both get our fixes so why complain...
Go get a HMW then your husband will then have something to complain about. I got my wife one and love to watch her use that thing. Talk about and orgasm machine. In the time it takes me to get going she has already cum about 5 times. LOL. She is in trouble though when I get that machine in my hands. I take her to the edge a few times and make her beg me to allow her to cross it. Too much fun. Not a toy you want to break out when the kids are in the house.
Hubby refuses sex and denies me sex toys 
Even tho he says one of his biggest fantasies is to watch a woman then participate, not only did he not do anything, he rolled over away from me to read his book!
