bisexual husband wants to peg - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 12:18 PM Thread Starter
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bisexual husband wants to peg

Hello, I am new to this forum and really needed to find some advice. My husband and I have been married for 13 yrs and have 7 boys. I new before we were married about his past bisexual experiences but assumed that was just curiosity being young.
However now he has brought up wanting to spice things up and me to peg and he be submissive. I was semi-ok with it. After we did try once I found that he had gone on dating sites and was chatting. He also looked at and ad for m4m and replied. He swears he did nothing and was just bored. What should I do or think? Is he still wanting to be with men again? I have tried to deal with it emotionally as best as I can but it just hits me out of the blue and smacks me in the face again, then I am back to being depressed. Can someone please tell me what I should do? Thanks
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post #2 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 12:20 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

What does "peg" mean?

If he's doing things behind your back like that, it's cheating.
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post #3 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 12:25 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

I think pegging means you wear a strap on and have sex with him? If you knew he was bisexual before you married, then surely you knew even though you were his wife that just a woman probably couldn't be the only one to help satisfy him correct? He isn't going to change who he is just because he married you. Perhaps give the pegging a try, maybe it will satisfy him so he doesn't feel the need to step outside of the marriage.
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post #4 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 12:27 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

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Originally Posted by justapril View Post
I found that he had gone on dating sites and was chatting. He also looked at and ad for m4m and replied.
This is cheating.

And of couse he said "nothing happened."
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post #5 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 12:29 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

Well now. Thats plenty to think about.

Pegging... for those that think they want to know...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pegging_(sexual_practice))

Well - if you say you are semi-OK with it - how did it go? Looks like he didnt get his 'fill', as it were.

Have you tried to sit sit down and say ...looks... I am mostly OK with this pegging thing, but answering ads for m-to-m gay sex looks pretty much like cheating. You need to wonder about how many ads he answered that you didnt see.. and that he perhaps acted on. Im not buying the 'bored' thing, thats just a smokescreen.

Can you two talk about this somehow? You need to get an understanding about what is allowed and what isnt, and quick. If he has been 'dabbling'/cheating - you (both) should get tested for peace of mind. Soon.
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post #6 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 12:33 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

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Originally Posted by justapril View Post
Hello,
However now he has brought up wanting to spice things up and me to peg and he be submissive. I was semi-ok with it. After we did try once I found that he had gone on dating sites and was chatting. He also looked at and ad for m4m and replied. He swears he did nothing and was just bored.
Even if he in fact did not cheat, he was looking to possibly do so. I doubt he was looking because he was bored. If he is bisexual, I do not think just you, his wife will be able to satisfy him. He has a need for both.
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post #7 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 12:34 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

Seven kids? Is that a typo?

If he's into guys, I doubt that getting nailed by his wife is going to satisfy his needs. He will probably continue with his net activities, but he'll be more careful now that you've confronted him. You need to think about your boundaries, and then lay them down in a conversation with him. One should be for him stop going to dating sites and having m4m chats.
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post #8 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 12:36 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

I don't see any good ending to this one.....sorry
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post #9 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 12:45 PM Thread Starter
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

Thank you all.. yes 7 boys we have.. I don't buy the bordem reply a bit. I have had my suspicions about it for a while.. I have tried to cope but can't trust him at all.
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post #10 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 12:48 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

If he isn't willing to stop, and you aren't willing to share him with men, then you need to divorce. What do you want??

You do understand he is cheating on you, right?

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post #11 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 01:04 PM
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If he isn't willing to stop, and you aren't willing to share him with men, then you need to divorce. What do you want??

You do understand he is cheating on you, right?
Not sure if he is cheating but you might need to drive home that anything with "anyone" but you is cheating.

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post #12 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 01:07 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

Hugs to you, this is difficult. I'd also be really unhappy with his reading and responding to dating ads. I hope you guys can work it out.
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post #13 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 01:11 PM Thread Starter
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

I was hoping to work through this.. one day I'm ok then the next I am back to constantly thinking about what I found and if he really did do things etc.. he and I both know there is a 0 trust factor with him. That alone is worrisome enough!
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post #14 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 01:18 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

Sounds like he wants more gay activity. This activity is not fair to you (whether it is male or female).
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post #15 of 60 (permalink) Old 10-09-2012, 01:23 PM
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Re: bisexual husband wants to peg

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Originally Posted by justapril View Post
he and I both know there is a 0 trust factor with him. That alone is worrisome enough!
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If that's the case, go get tested for STDs, and don't let him near you without protection. That may sound extreme, but he may have already hooked up with a guy or two.
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