Sex in MarriageSexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.
Hello, I am new to this forum and really needed to find some advice. My husband and I have been married for 13 yrs and have 7 boys. I new before we were married about his past bisexual experiences but assumed that was just curiosity being young.
However now he has brought up wanting to spice things up and me to peg and he be submissive. I was semi-ok with it. After we did try once I found that he had gone on dating sites and was chatting. He also looked at and ad for m4m and replied. He swears he did nothing and was just bored. What should I do or think? Is he still wanting to be with men again? I have tried to deal with it emotionally as best as I can but it just hits me out of the blue and smacks me in the face again, then I am back to being depressed. Can someone please tell me what I should do? Thanks
I think pegging means you wear a strap on and have sex with him? If you knew he was bisexual before you married, then surely you knew even though you were his wife that just a woman probably couldn't be the only one to help satisfy him correct? He isn't going to change who he is just because he married you. Perhaps give the pegging a try, maybe it will satisfy him so he doesn't feel the need to step outside of the marriage.
Well - if you say you are semi-OK with it - how did it go? Looks like he didnt get his 'fill', as it were.
Have you tried to sit sit down and say ...looks... I am mostly OK with this pegging thing, but answering ads for m-to-m gay sex looks pretty much like cheating. You need to wonder about how many ads he answered that you didnt see.. and that he perhaps acted on. Im not buying the 'bored' thing, thats just a smokescreen.
Can you two talk about this somehow? You need to get an understanding about what is allowed and what isnt, and quick. If he has been 'dabbling'/cheating - you (both) should get tested for peace of mind. Soon.
However now he has brought up wanting to spice things up and me to peg and he be submissive. I was semi-ok with it. After we did try once I found that he had gone on dating sites and was chatting. He also looked at and ad for m4m and replied. He swears he did nothing and was just bored.
Even if he in fact did not cheat, he was looking to possibly do so. I doubt he was looking because he was bored. If he is bisexual, I do not think just you, his wife will be able to satisfy him. He has a need for both.
If he's into guys, I doubt that getting nailed by his wife is going to satisfy his needs. He will probably continue with his net activities, but he'll be more careful now that you've confronted him. You need to think about your boundaries, and then lay them down in a conversation with him. One should be for him stop going to dating sites and having m4m chats.
I was hoping to work through this.. one day I'm ok then the next I am back to constantly thinking about what I found and if he really did do things etc.. he and I both know there is a 0 trust factor with him. That alone is worrisome enough! Posted via Mobile Device