Hello to all! As you can probably tell, I am brand new to the site...
I am desperately in need of some constructive feedback! This is honestly the first time I've ever "talked" (ha, ha) with someone other than the husband about our sex problems. I promise I will keep things as simple and straightforward as possible!
Here goes...we got married this April much to my delight (and his). We're both in our early twenties (23 and 25). Since then, I have discovered that our sex drives are very disparate---I'm extremely high drive (4 to 5 times a week at least) and he is very low (he doesn't give any sign of noticing if we haven't had sex for the past 3 weeks). We might have had sex once on our little two day honeymoon, I don't remember.
I have attempted to communicate with him about this difference, as it makes me feel frustrated, sad, and lonely. He gets mad whenever I bring it up, and tells me that "sex always creates problems", "he doesn't like talking about it" and that "if I would tell him no once and a while then he'd initiate more often" (I would be hard to get?) At this point, I usually think to myself that if he would initiate more in the first place, then I wouldn't be afraid to say no! If I say no, who knows when I'll get the chance to have sex again?
I have attempted to initiate as well from all ranges and styles (everything from walking around naked/lingerie to slow approaches to sexy texts,ect ). At this point I'm stumped. I'm tired of trying to initiate and getting rejected and wondering if I'll get any this week at all. I've tried masturbation (which is usually daily b/c of my sex drive) to buy myself patience when I am ready to go, and he's not. Any advice? Is there anything I can do?!
I don't know if this is significant or not, but I don't orgasm unless I use a vibrator (and I've tried, believe me)...I think it's the stupid SSRI medication I take. He does want to help me orgasm when he's in the mood for sex but he is adamant about not using a toy on me. And he said he is uncomfortable watching me show him or guide him during sex (I've offered in attempts to show him how I orgasm as it's not the same for every woman).
He has had multiple partners and a high sex drive previously. I've heard the stories (non fictional ones) about his previous encounters.
Help, please? How can I explain to him that sex is a form of intimacy and love to me? Any advice? Am I just doomed to a sexless marriage at the age of 23? Thank you!