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Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

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Old 11-11-2012, 03:02 PM   #61 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Would it be fair to characterize "porn sex" as male dominant sex? Where the man is mostly in charge of the situation and deciding what and how to do it?
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Old 11-11-2012, 03:11 PM   #62 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

No, because it is not just male dominant
It is female irrelevant

The woman's feelings, both her emotional and physical one's are irrelevant. Whether she is pleased or satisfied at all is irrelevant. If the sex acts leave her sore, bleeding, or battling an infection, that is also irrelevant.

Porn sex is sex for men, and in it, unfortunately, the women are largely irrelevant

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Would it be fair to characterize "porn sex" as male dominant sex? Where the man is mostly in charge of the situation and deciding what and how to do it?
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Old 11-11-2012, 03:11 PM   #63 (permalink)
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Of course they aren't, if I had a dollar for every deflated limp pensis that happen in a porn scene I would be a rich woman.
Men deflating in porn is almost as bad as when they spit for lube.

No enjoyment no pleasure
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Yea limp d!cks in porn are a big turn off. Not all porn is created equal for sure.
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Old 11-11-2012, 03:12 PM   #64 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Yeah he's not in charge the director is.
Spit for lube is gross.
And how about just ramming it in anally without showing the build up that happened off camera to get her to that point?
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Old 11-11-2012, 03:13 PM   #65 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Conversely, do you watch a mainstream movie with a romance and concern yourself that one or both of the actors involved aren't truly in love with one another?

They tend to be much much better actors do you don't think about it.
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Old 11-11-2012, 03:32 PM   #66 (permalink)
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Default Re: Porn Sex vs. Real Sex

Let's also not forget that once something goes from hobby to work and job it's loses it's pleasure so to speak. The sex isn't fun for anyone in mainstream porn.

My Husband can ejaculate without a gut clenching lose your breath orgasm, but without that cumming just ain't that fun.
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Old 11-11-2012, 04:10 PM   #67 (permalink)
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Wow...a lot to catch up on in just a short time....

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Even the military knows that, if they tailor their recruiting to look like soldiers are off in some cool-kick-ass video game, they will get more recruits. I imagine that if you speak to some doctors, they might tell you they've had one too many med student go that route because of some medical show they saw that made them think they could be just like Meredith Grey LOL.
Heh...I'm sure there are some who get into a particular field based on a fictionalized account of how the business works. I think it's safe to say, though, that they're very quickly disabused of those notions.

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More seriously, you make a good point, but I think you are undermining how much porn can shape a person's sexuality in the absence of how little real-world openness we have in our culture about sex. All the sex most people see or know about outside of their private sexual lives comes from hollywood and the porn industry. And private sexual experiences vary from vast to minute, so ESPECIALLY if you have a conservative number of partners, you might taking a lot more lessons from porn than is healthy for conducting real life sexual relationships.
I get where you're coming from here, but, again, I think it's safe to say that such people are generally quickly corrected on how real life works. If they're unconcerned with their partner's response, I tend to think that's a matter of the person, not the porn.

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Finally, porn (possibly like gory movies) raises the threshold for stimulation. I can't watch the movie Saw. It's just too gory for me. I know people that enjoy watching scary movies and all sorts of gore and their thresholds for that has increased the more they watch. I would throw up at some of that stuff. They can eat their dinner and dessert while watching it. Same goes for porn. So, for too many men, if they are watching these over the top scenes a bit too often, how is "vanilla" (real people) sex going to compare ... especially if you have a partner that hasn't been watching along with you and who is not a porn-star equivalent, which is most women.
I think, though, that this once again comes back to the viewer's understanding that those gory movies are fiction. That it's less a matter of desensitization per se, but a matter of not wanting to see the same story over and over and over. That, coupled with knowing that these outrageous acts are unlikely to happen to the viewer in real life. Take, for example, the movie Hellraiser. From the first time I saw it, around age 18 or so, to this very day, I've never flinched at the grisly deaths, the hell-chains flaying people, etc. But when Andrew Robinson's character cuts his hand on a protruding nail head? That one sends shivers down my spine each and every time. Why? Because I can relate to that...I've cut my hand in similar fashion. By the same token, the contortionist, over-the-top sex seen in porn is outside of most people's frame of reference. So, they're able to see the porn as pure entertainment and, as with the rest of their entertainment, as they move on to the next installment, they want to see something different than they did before.

That's my wife's big complaint about most professional-grade porn...the predictability. When a scene's doing nothing for her, she'll frequently make the same comment: "Here we go. Oral on him. Brief oral on her. Doggy. Cowgirl. Missionary. Facial."
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Old 11-11-2012, 04:15 PM   #68 (permalink)
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As a result, I refute those types of blanket statements. They are used to blame shift from the person with hangups to the person wanting sex other than intercourse. Have you ever known anyone to say "oral sex is fine, I just prefer to not do it"? I haven't; it's always expressed as a morality or sanitary issue.
Personally, I've found that my tastes in porn are shaped by what I enjoy in real life, as opposed to what I want to do for real being determined by porn.

Case in point: I don't recall how I first became aware of anal sex. I remember I was fairly young. And, true enough, it may have been via porn. But, I never watched it in porn. Didn't want to...it held no interest for me. I'd skip over any anal scenes or segments of scenes.

Until...my wife & I decided to give it a try, and we liked it. Now, knowing what it feels like and that it's something we enjoy, I find myself enjoying those scenes. Not all of them, to be sure...some are just plain filmed in an unappealing way.
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Old 11-11-2012, 04:17 PM   #69 (permalink)
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Spit is the best lube! I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I was agreeing with most of the female comments until the spit thing came about.
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Old 11-11-2012, 04:20 PM   #70 (permalink)
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No, because it is not just male dominant
It is female irrelevant

The woman's feelings, both her emotional and physical one's are irrelevant. Whether she is pleased or satisfied at all is irrelevant. If the sex acts leave her sore, bleeding, or battling an infection, that is also irrelevant.

Porn sex is sex for men, and in it, unfortunately, the women are largely irrelevant
Again, for the performers - both of them - we're not talking about sex for pleasure. We're talking about sex for work...sex for presentation to an audience. The male in the scene is no more relevant or irrelevant than the female. And, that's the same for any other entertainment production.
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Old 11-11-2012, 04:22 PM   #71 (permalink)
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Spit is the best lube! I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I was agreeing with most of the female comments until the spit thing came about.
Would u want your co worker or a stranger to spit on you.

They spit on eachother due to no natural lubrication being present. Not really inspiring.
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Old 11-11-2012, 04:28 PM   #72 (permalink)
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Would u want your co worker or a stranger to spit on you.

They spit on eachother due to no natural lubrication being present. Not really inspiring.
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In the past few months, I believe I've seen 3 or 4 mainstream tv episodes/movies with one actor spitting in another's face.
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Old 11-11-2012, 04:34 PM   #73 (permalink)
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Spit is the best lube! I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

I was agreeing with most of the female comments until the spit thing came about.
Never used spit as lube.
Natural lube = Good Lube.

My wife's natural lube = Best Lube!
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Old 11-11-2012, 04:37 PM   #74 (permalink)
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I've always wondered if Japanese women TRULY sounds like that in bed, I hope I'm not offending anyone but they sound like little girls being raped in porn and I find that absolutely repulsive. If I do get divorced/seperated I MUST find out for curiouscity sake, and only one way to do that...
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Old 11-11-2012, 04:37 PM   #75 (permalink)
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In the past few months, I believe I've seen 3 or 4 mainstream tv episodes/movies with one actor spitting in another's face.
My main is the complete absence of arousal, then said man or woman spits on other woman's completely dry vagina. Thus causing me me to focus on the shi t time they are truly having.
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