Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!
 Talk About Marriage
  The Marriage Advice and Relationship Help Forums
  right
Forums - For Therapists - Link to Us - Advertise  

    A Public Forum Provided by The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory
Register FAQ Community Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Navigation »Talk About Marriage »Focused Topics »Sex in Marriage » Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

Sex in Marriage Sexual problems are common in many relationships. This section is for discussions about sexuality. Please limit discussions to those asking for help with a problem and those offering advice. Any other threads may be deleted.

Like Tree2Likes
  • 1 Post By StargateFan
  • 1 Post By 40isthenew20

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 11-24-2012, 08:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 
Dulciean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 39
Talking Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

Hi- so glad to have found this forum. My husband and I are both plus- sized. But in his case he carries his weight on his belly- it is very large! Recently when we are having sex with him on top I feel as though I am being crushed and suffocated, it makes me quite panicky. When I get on top I feel flabby and get paranoid I am too heavy for him. Many sexual positions are impossible for us with hubby's giant tummy preventing proper penetration.we have always been roughly the same sizes as now, give or take 10 kilos. I am trying to she'd some weight for the summer( here in Australia) but I don't know how to broach the subject with hubby as he is highly sensitive and easily offended. Any insight or advice from anybody?

Last edited by Dulciean; 11-24-2012 at 08:40 PM. Reason: Typos
Dulciean is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 11-24-2012, 09:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Mid West
Posts: 305
Default Re: Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

Try to focus on the health benefits versus the attraction/sex benefits. Those are an added plus. Get some lab tests at your next physicals. You both will likely have cholesterol issues and blood sugar issues. Take walks after dinner. Do some sexy yoga/stretching together. Take up gardening.

A sex swing can help with the positions. I particularly like one with a bungee cord and installed an electric hoist for optimal positioning with the least hassle. They are made for different weight categories, search the net. Bungee is very fun. My wife is not very orgasmic and the first time we used it she came 3 times in seven minutes and made me stop.
StargateFan is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-24-2012, 09:30 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 255
Default Re: Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

I am really jealous of you because you engage in this thing they sex. I believe it has something to do with with a special hug as the book 'where did I come from' states...ok just being sarcastic as haven't had sex for 5 months and my wife is oblivious as to how it makes me feel - she only cares about how guilty she feels when I bring it up making me twice as miserable as I already am. It i get to live a hellish life with no affection then take on responsibility for her guilt. A crappy hand to be dealt. The point is don't make a big deal because its a good problem to have and, just say I am going to loose weight so that it can be more enjoyable for you and less painful. If he is smart he should get the hint - it's sort if like offering someone a breath mint after you take one yourself. Ok good luck and good on ya! for getting into shape. Te best part is you are doing yourself a favor and maybe he would instead begin to worry that if he does not follow suit then more guys would come knocking on your door!
Posted via Mobile Device
KendalMintcake is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-25-2012, 04:27 AM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Dulciean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 39
Default Re: Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

Thanks for the replies- I will have a think about these ideas!
Dulciean is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-25-2012, 06:57 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 364
Default Re: Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

I think there is a book on postions for larger size people so try to find it and I think there are also websites.

The rear entry should work great and how about if he holds you legs up in the air as you lay on your back,no weight on you that way.
dubbizle is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-25-2012, 08:02 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
EnjoliWoman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southeast
Posts: 3,219
Default Re: Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

I would suggest starting with a physical so the doctor can recommend (undoubtedly) that you two loose some weight and there are probably health issues such as blood pressure and/or cholesterol as another poster mentioned. Then you can start cooking better for both of you. Make it about you, not him. Men lose weight faster, usually - he probably won't have to try as hard. Ask him to take a walk with you after dinner. Hold hands and make it romantic, not some sort of forced exercise. As the pounds come off a bit, maybe he'll get excited about the changes. If he says he's lost some, make a big deal about it by saying you had noticed how good he was looking. Share your successes with each other to keep it happy and positive.
EnjoliWoman is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-25-2012, 11:14 AM   #7 (permalink)
Member
 
40isthenew20's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 667
Default Re: Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

If you're both overweight to the point that any sex position is cumbersome, then a bell should be going off simultaneously in both of your heads. Yeah, people will say tat it's unhealthy and they are correct, but sex should be a motivating factor tat exceeds all others.
40isthenew20 is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-25-2012, 07:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 853
Default Re: Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

I agree with stargatefan on this one. Have the talk with him. Stating that he is your man but at the current weight you both are at, you won't have a long life together. That you're afraid of the health of both of you. Before you talk to him, research and price gym memberships for the both of you. If you talk to him about going to the gym, then go!!! Find a trainer there that will work with the both of you.
If you do the shopping, start buying all low fat or no fat products. Start buying a lot more fruits and veggies. Start planning a health menu throughout the week. If there's nothing else in the house, then that's what he'll eat.

Don't make it about sex, make it about your health. To be honest, you start to live a healthy lifestyle, the sex will correct on it's own (actually, it will get a lot better) so there's no reason to bring it up.
crossbar is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 11-25-2012, 10:13 PM   #9 (permalink)
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 364
Default Re: Husband is overweight- it's hurting me to have sex!

Of course we all want them to be healthy and lose weight,but as we all know that takes time and I am sure they want to still have sex NOW so start looking into different postions and do some fun research and when you find something try it out and have fun. When the weight does start falling off you can add more postions to your bedroom.
dubbizle is offline   Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.
User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Husband's codependency with sister hurting marriage Pondering General Relationship Discussion 26 03-05-2012 11:51 AM
still hurting from my husband's 2nd EA with same woman. love to read Coping with Infidelity 13 02-29-2012 04:11 PM
husband lonely and hurting badly husband321 General Relationship Discussion 6 03-10-2011 10:27 PM
Past tattoo on husband hurting me gsm General Relationship Discussion 2 10-20-2010 05:31 PM

Member Area

Find a Therapist:


Sponsor Ads


Sponsor Ads




Get The Family & Marriage Counseling Directory Help Guide via Email:
Name:
Email:




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 02:35 AM.



Copyright 2007 - 2013 © Talk About Marriage

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.