excellent summary SimplyAmorous.
And why is it we couples seem to find it so difficult to be open and honest when it comes to sex - listening to and responding to our partner's needs and desires and being able to freely express our own. Why can we share so much on so many other levels and run into a wall when it concerns sex?
Just keep reading here, the few responses you got other than mine speak volumes, how very easily women are OFFENDED by men's desires, repulsed even.
The battle of the sexes, they do NOT understand each other.. much of this is our hormonal make up, the differences in testosterone is a culprit (our lust hormone). This is a great book all women should take the time to read ...to get some idea how MEN think, fantasize, their sexual dreams & erotic fantasies... Men in Love: Nancy Friday: Books
Men In Love develops a startlingly honest portrayal of what it means to be a man in contemporary America. Here are the unexpurgated dreams, fantasies and fetishes that excite and obsess men today. In creating this historic study, Nancy Friday listened -- without disapproval, apology or censorship -- to the candid responses of thousands of men aged fourteen through sixty.
She gave them a legitimate arena where they could share their "secret gardens" -- the hidden and forbidden but nonetheless real and true. Much more than a litany of erotica, this unique volume doesn't tell us how men should love. It tells us how men do love -- a stunning insight into the desires that dwell within men's psyches... and their hearts.
is so very personal...it is emotional for many men (the good ones anyway), when their wives repeatedly push them away, it cuts like a knife...the one they love most in this world repeatedly rejects their affection, takes a little flirting as though they are hapless pigs...so they back away.
We fear speaking our hearts, we fear being judged for our desires if we share...(like many stores on here)....so many are left scrambling how to build a bridge of understanding. Many just back away...tell themselves its not worth the grief.
Some just want off the merry go round.
In OUR marriage, it was a combination of ME being "repressed" / too much purity thinking that followed me into my marriage, feeling certain acts were dirty (wanted the lights out, under a sheet, masterbation talk- OMG I would have turned as red as a lobster.. just so taboo... ...plus having my mind on kids & projects (though I LOVED sex, felt it was greatest pleasure on earth), he always felt that from me when we were together, even if we didn't talk about it.
On his end....He was too quiet & OVERLY sensitive, more than most men...almost needing some cue that I wanted him too - or he might roll over at night, so I didn't know he was suffering. He never caused 1 fight over sex. Not the normal story here by any stretch.
When I wanted it...I wasn't shy about coming on to him... he always knew if he waited it out, I would be all over him. ( I just didn't crave it AS MUCH
as him)... But still....he started to build some silent resentment towards me...he hated my books and I would put the babies in bed with us. He never said a word ! I wasn't the brightest bulb around back then !!
Like I said, our lack of communicating was criminal...
We come to learn... he never masterbated waiting for me our entire marriage ... I was shocked!.. he felt like that was cheating (his words)... and here I did ..... so I told him I was a cheater then ....
Well who the hell knew ! I was thinking he wouldn't want woke up in the middle of the night when I was frisky...and he was thinking I was lower drive !! Again...Ridiculous. Now we are older, our best years are behind us... but thank God we have NOW.
If everyone's story was as silly as ours, it would surely be easier to solve. Now we love to talk about sex, our favorite subject, it never runs dry.